RecentlyDivorced

It’s been about two weeks since he left, but if I’m being completely honest, he was gone long before then. We’ve been trying for nearly two decades, since the time I left my mother’s home. We had four children really young, and we’ve struggled to find a happy balance in our relationship for the duration of our time together.

We failed each other. And while I know that the fault rests with us both, I can’t help but feel as though he failed me. For years, I tried to be the wife he wanted, the woman he needed, and for years, I never measured up. He didn’t believe I’d ever be enough for him, and so I finally gave up, finally told him to leave then, and he did.

He’s back at his mother’s place. He’s nearing forty, and every time he comes to pick up the kids for a visit, he can’t help but gush how good he has it now. His mom takes care of his every need and his money can finally grow.

And yet, I’m left raising four teenagers alone, wondering who the hell am I? I’ve tried for so long to be the perfect wife, the best woman for him, that I’m not even sure who I am anymore. Alone. Forgotten. Hollow. Empty.

I sure hope this passes soon.

Xx