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No one talked about it.

No one talked about it. Yanno talk about mental health, any aspect relative to it..

My parents didn't tell me about any of it. They didn't give me any warnings or prepare me for what life could throw my way. They were too caught up on their own messy life struggling with their own mental health, but forgot the ones who relied on them were struggling too.

Adults in my life didn't talk about the reality of how hard life can be, all the emotions you will feel and how to deal with them especially pain (personally the hardest one), the confusing series of events you may go through, or how to even cope with loosing someone you loved.

There was too much left unsaid, not understood, lingering questions with no one to give answers I desperately needed as a child. I had to learn everything the hard way when it never had to be that way, it could've been so different.

So here I am talking about anything and everything. I couldn't continue the cycle which was never acknowledged to even have the chance to be broken..

Here I still am. I'm still here and there's a reason for that. I've gone through so much trauma, hardship, health issues, and pain by age 26. Neverminded the struggles and difficultly navigating my way through life and healing as a single mom of two beautiful daughters, ages 7 and soon-to-be 3 year old.

No one talked about it, but I talk about it now. I will continue to always discuss mental health and every aspect relative to it, especially with my children.

#Childhood #Stigma #genrationaltrauma #Breakthecycle #Family #MentalHealth #Awareness #Parenting #Life #Pain #Communication #Children #Singlemom #hardship #survive #speakout #childrensvoices #Health #advocate #makechange #Hope #childrenarethefuture #teachchildren #selfawareness #healingjourney

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My mom has stage 4 cancer and I need help. #Melanoma #SkinCancer #Singlemom

My mom has been diagnosed with stage 4 Melanoma cancer. She is a single mom and takes care of me and my older brother. She went from working 6 days a week, to having no energy to do much. we are now at a point where we can’t afford rent, so my brother is moving to Missouri at the end of the month where his dad lives and he is gonna take all of our fruniture, beds, boxes and what not. Me and my mom are gonna go to florida, and live with my great aunt for 3/2 months, then go to Missouri when her disability and unemployment kicks in. We will be driving to Florida. The problem is we don’t have the money for the truck, or to fix my moms car. We have called so many places, have asked everyone we can think of for help. My mom is just nonstop constantly trying to find a solution but it’s all just a dead end. We have asked family and friends but no one can help. So if anyone who reads this knows someone or knows a place to call please let me know. Anything helps!

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2022

I’m proud of myself for sticking with the gym this year, even though I’ve had times where I went a week or two without going. I didn’t lose all my progress like I thought. My mental state was much better when I was sticking with it regularly. Even when I didn’t want to go, I still went, no matter my emotional state. Staying consistent with things has been my biggest struggle & while it’s not perfect, I’ve been more consistent than in the past. I hope this inspires someone to choose yourself & don’t allow the battle within to steal your dreams. 🫶🏻 #MentalHealth #Fitness #ChronicDepression #Anxiety #Singlemom #change

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Small victories #Fibromyalgia #Vestibulodynia #CPTSD #Depression #DishydroticEczema #Singlemom #Gratitude #Spoonie

Things I never before thought I would celebrate include: Doing a load of laundry, showering, getting dressed even if it doesn't happen until noon, going on a walk with my rollator, completing a grocery run, taking care of my pets, watering my plants, cooking a meal, and being a present parent for my children. I am thankful I can do some of these things some of the days. At first when I was told everything is a victory I was inwardly a bit skeptical (me comparing my present self to my ambitious past self). But last night I took a shower and I felt genuinely proud of myself.

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Good days ARE real!!!!

The last few days have really been exhausting and draining emotionally. Definitely stepped closer to feeling like why fight. Nothing was going right. From not being able to get medication refill to simple as not receiving drinks with Mcds delivery. (Stupid but was the last nudge to break me)
Today I made myself get up early, and did two important errands that I've put off for a month. Both things required me to leave the house, which has been progressively getting harder. Also I haven't drove for 2.5yrs! So I just kept going and told myself I had to do this. I drove to both places, with my 4yr old, and completed my errands. Everything went smooth. Didn't get lost, didn't have to wait super long and my son was great being patient sitting. Now I ended my day with a random 2hr phone call with my 15yr old son. He rarely talks on the phone so this was amazing. So I'm posting this remind myself and anyone that needs to hear, that good days can really happen!They may be few and far in between but if you keep pushing, they will happen. #Depression #Anxiety #Fibromyalgia #dontgiveup #firstborn #Singlemom #Widow #Grief

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Covid Jab Flare-up

I had the worst flare up after my second covid jab, to the point that I was struggling to walk, had to get a tramazac injection (which only took the edge off), stayed in bed for two days straight, and weirdly, had some endo pain again. However, this morning I woke up and I didn't feel like I'd been run over by a bus! I nearly cried, with joy this time.

I'm achey but in the normal, tolerable fibro way. I took my kids to the market day at their school where we enjoyed the sun and people and I got to spoil them a bit. I packed the dishwasher and just bathed my dog. And now it's time to rest a bit because I'm learning that Fibromania is a very real thing.

The fear of a flare is overwhelming and it's hard to know when it will end. This one lasted two weeks, with this week throwing me into a pit of anger and despair. It also gave me time to think (and freak out, lol) about work and my kids and running the house as a single mom. I'm going to need to find a better, less stressful way of providing for my girls. I have no idea how, or what I'll be capable of keeping up with - chronic illness does not make for reliability and my schedule can be erratic depending on flare ups, doctors visits, and medication side effects. I also live in South Africa and it's not exactly set up to support any kind of decent career which pays the bills and isn't a CEO position.

Not sure where to from here but I need to get out of my current situation before the stress has me bed bound more permanently. At least I feel better today and I've been able to enjoy some time with my kids and get out of the house. Perhaps it's time to take this better day and do some brainstorming on my next steps.

#Fibromyalgia #Endometriosis #fibroflare #ChronicPain #Singlemom #ParentingWithADisability #ChronicFatigue

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After Watching Maid on Netflix

Felt that series so much but these were combo tears- remembering the struggles and the fact that I overcame. #Singlemom #Netflix #Maid #Overcomer #tears

I didnt deal with domestic violence but: bad days, poverty, dead beat dad, family drama. The series is based on a true story. Very gut wrenching and on point- moral> you are not alone and you can overcome too!

Maybe I'll have to write a full review.

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Trying something...#ArtTherapy #MightyPoets

Wrote this poem and started playing around with fonts... Thinking it might be over the character limit to just type out so I hope it is readable in this picture. #Fibromyalgia #sjogrens #Osteoarthritis #multiplegidisorders #Anxiety #PTSD #Singlemom #mykidsareawesome

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I don’t even know where to begin #Depression #Singlemom #AlcoholAbuse #PostpartumDepression

It feels like my life has been in shambles here lately. I am struggling with anxiety, depression and just crazy emotions and anger. I’ve been drinking a lot to cope with the struggles of being a single mom, co parenting with a narsasist and not having much support in general. I’ve lost a lot of “friends” and it feels like I am stuck in a viscous self destruction cycle that I can’t seem to escape. I don’t even know where to begin to get better.

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I WANT YOU TO ALWAYS REMEMBER...

You are worthy of love and compassion
No matter your circumstances!❣️

You are worthy of love and compassion
No matter how productive you are right
now!❣️

You are worthy of love and compassion
No matter how scared or anxious you are!❣️

You are worthy of love and compassion
No matter what!❣️

NO MATTER WHAT!❣️
We all deserve some compassion in our lives whether it be from ourselves,family,friends,strangers or anyone around us! ❤️ 🤗

#Depression #Anxiety #lonely #BackPain #Singlemom #ChronicIllness #quarentine

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