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    My mom has stage 4 cancer and I need help. #Melanoma #SkinCancer #Singlemom

    My mom has been diagnosed with stage 4 Melanoma cancer. She is a single mom and takes care of me and my older brother. She went from working 6 days a week, to having no energy to do much. we are now at a point where we can’t afford rent, so my brother is moving to Missouri at the end of the month where his dad lives and he is gonna take all of our fruniture, beds, boxes and what not. Me and my mom are gonna go to florida, and live with my great aunt for 3/2 months, then go to Missouri when her disability and unemployment kicks in. We will be driving to Florida. The problem is we don’t have the money for the truck, or to fix my moms car. We have called so many places, have asked everyone we can think of for help. My mom is just nonstop constantly trying to find a solution but it’s all just a dead end. We have asked family and friends but no one can help. So if anyone who reads this knows someone or knows a place to call please let me know. Anything helps!

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    2022

    I’m proud of myself for sticking with the gym this year, even though I’ve had times where I went a week or two without going. I didn’t lose all my progress like I thought. My mental state was much better when I was sticking with it regularly. Even when I didn’t want to go, I still went, no matter my emotional state. Staying consistent with things has been my biggest struggle & while it’s not perfect, I’ve been more consistent than in the past. I hope this inspires someone to choose yourself & don’t allow the battle within to steal your dreams. 🫶🏻 #MentalHealth #Fitness #ChronicDepression #Anxiety #Singlemom #change

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    Small victories #Fibromyalgia #Vestibulodynia #CPTSD #Depression #DishydroticEczema #Singlemom #Gratitude #Spoonie

    Things I never before thought I would celebrate include: Doing a load of laundry, showering, getting dressed even if it doesn't happen until noon, going on a walk with my rollator, completing a grocery run, taking care of my pets, watering my plants, cooking a meal, and being a present parent for my children. I am thankful I can do some of these things some of the days. At first when I was told everything is a victory I was inwardly a bit skeptical (me comparing my present self to my ambitious past self). But last night I took a shower and I felt genuinely proud of myself.

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    Good days ARE real!!!!

    The last few days have really been exhausting and draining emotionally. Definitely stepped closer to feeling like why fight. Nothing was going right. From not being able to get medication refill to simple as not receiving drinks with Mcds delivery. (Stupid but was the last nudge to break me)
    Today I made myself get up early, and did two important errands that I've put off for a month. Both things required me to leave the house, which has been progressively getting harder. Also I haven't drove for 2.5yrs! So I just kept going and told myself I had to do this. I drove to both places, with my 4yr old, and completed my errands. Everything went smooth. Didn't get lost, didn't have to wait super long and my son was great being patient sitting. Now I ended my day with a random 2hr phone call with my 15yr old son. He rarely talks on the phone so this was amazing. So I'm posting this remind myself and anyone that needs to hear, that good days can really happen!They may be few and far in between but if you keep pushing, they will happen. #Depression #Anxiety #Fibromyalgia #dontgiveup #firstborn #Singlemom #Widow #Grief

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    Covid Jab Flare-up

    I had the worst flare up after my second covid jab, to the point that I was struggling to walk, had to get a tramazac injection (which only took the edge off), stayed in bed for two days straight, and weirdly, had some endo pain again. However, this morning I woke up and I didn't feel like I'd been run over by a bus! I nearly cried, with joy this time.

    I'm achey but in the normal, tolerable fibro way. I took my kids to the market day at their school where we enjoyed the sun and people and I got to spoil them a bit. I packed the dishwasher and just bathed my dog. And now it's time to rest a bit because I'm learning that Fibromania is a very real thing.

    The fear of a flare is overwhelming and it's hard to know when it will end. This one lasted two weeks, with this week throwing me into a pit of anger and despair. It also gave me time to think (and freak out, lol) about work and my kids and running the house as a single mom. I'm going to need to find a better, less stressful way of providing for my girls. I have no idea how, or what I'll be capable of keeping up with - chronic illness does not make for reliability and my schedule can be erratic depending on flare ups, doctors visits, and medication side effects. I also live in South Africa and it's not exactly set up to support any kind of decent career which pays the bills and isn't a CEO position.

    Not sure where to from here but I need to get out of my current situation before the stress has me bed bound more permanently. At least I feel better today and I've been able to enjoy some time with my kids and get out of the house. Perhaps it's time to take this better day and do some brainstorming on my next steps.

    #Fibromyalgia #Endometriosis #fibroflare #ChronicPain #Singlemom #ParentingWithADisability #ChronicFatigue

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    After Watching Maid on Netflix

    Felt that series so much but these were combo tears- remembering the struggles and the fact that I overcame. #Singlemom #Netflix #Maid #Overcomer #tears

    I didnt deal with domestic violence but: bad days, poverty, dead beat dad, family drama. The series is based on a true story. Very gut wrenching and on point- moral> you are not alone and you can overcome too!

    Maybe I'll have to write a full review.

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    Trying something...#ArtTherapy #MightyPoets

    Wrote this poem and started playing around with fonts... Thinking it might be over the character limit to just type out so I hope it is readable in this picture. #Fibromyalgia #sjogrens #Osteoarthritis #multiplegidisorders #Anxiety #PTSD #Singlemom #mykidsareawesome

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    I don’t even know where to begin #Depression #Singlemom #AlcoholAbuse #PostpartumDepression

    It feels like my life has been in shambles here lately. I am struggling with anxiety, depression and just crazy emotions and anger. I’ve been drinking a lot to cope with the struggles of being a single mom, co parenting with a narsasist and not having much support in general. I’ve lost a lot of “friends” and it feels like I am stuck in a viscous self destruction cycle that I can’t seem to escape. I don’t even know where to begin to get better.

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    I WANT YOU TO ALWAYS REMEMBER...

    You are worthy of love and compassion
    No matter your circumstances!❣️

    You are worthy of love and compassion
    No matter how productive you are right
    now!❣️

    You are worthy of love and compassion
    No matter how scared or anxious you are!❣️

    You are worthy of love and compassion
    No matter what!❣️

    NO MATTER WHAT!❣️
    We all deserve some compassion in our lives whether it be from ourselves,family,friends,strangers or anyone around us! ❤️ 🤗

    #Depression #Anxiety #lonely #BackPain #Singlemom #ChronicIllness #quarentine

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    Who am I? #Divorced #RecentlyDivorced #Singlemom

    It’s been about two weeks since he left, but if I’m being completely honest, he was gone long before then. We’ve been trying for nearly two decades, since the time I left my mother’s home. We had four children really young, and we’ve struggled to find a happy balance in our relationship for the duration of our time together.

    We failed each other. And while I know that the fault rests with us both, I can’t help but feel as though he failed me. For years, I tried to be the wife he wanted, the woman he needed, and for years, I never measured up. He didn’t believe I’d ever be enough for him, and so I finally gave up, finally told him to leave then, and he did.

    He’s back at his mother’s place. He’s nearing forty, and every time he comes to pick up the kids for a visit, he can’t help but gush how good he has it now. His mom takes care of his every need and his money can finally grow.

    And yet, I’m left raising four teenagers alone, wondering who the hell am I? I’ve tried for so long to be the perfect wife, the best woman for him, that I’m not even sure who I am anymore. Alone. Forgotten. Hollow. Empty.

    I sure hope this passes soon.

    Xx

    2 comments