Scared of what’s next
GORD is getting worse and PPI stopped keeping the symptoms at bay. Doctors doubled my medication and I have another gastroscopy this week. I won’t lie, I’m scared.
My partner’s grandfather passed away from cancer that had probably been a result of his acid reflux/ heartburn. He passed away within 2 months of dx (he was dx after having an endoscopy). My MIL actively documented how he was doing, his symptoms etc, and still talks about it all afterwards.
It’s super selfish, but I’m scared like anything of it happening to me knowing that it’s a real possibility. It’s taken my mind to some dark places, and the closer we get to the gastroscopy the worse it gets.
Of course I’m trying to think positive and remind myself what the doctor said (that he was elderly and that it wasn’t likely anyway), but it’s beginning to be a real battle in the run up to it. I’ll just be glad when it’s over. Again it’s super selfish to think about it like this, but I feel like here’s a safe place to express it.