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Scared of what’s next

GORD is getting worse and PPI stopped keeping the symptoms at bay. Doctors doubled my medication and I have another gastroscopy this week. I won’t lie, I’m scared.

My partner’s grandfather passed away from cancer that had probably been a result of his acid reflux/ heartburn. He passed away within 2 months of dx (he was dx after having an endoscopy). My MIL actively documented how he was doing, his symptoms etc, and still talks about it all afterwards.
It’s super selfish, but I’m scared like anything of it happening to me knowing that it’s a real possibility. It’s taken my mind to some dark places, and the closer we get to the gastroscopy the worse it gets.

Of course I’m trying to think positive and remind myself what the doctor said (that he was elderly and that it wasn’t likely anyway), but it’s beginning to be a real battle in the run up to it. I’ll just be glad when it’s over. Again it’s super selfish to think about it like this, but I feel like here’s a safe place to express it.

#AcidReflux #reflux #GORD #GERD #Heartburn #Anxiety #MentalHealth

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How do I explain myself to my dentist…?

So, when I was 7 years old I had a pretty horrific dentist experience. Basically, I had to have a tooth removed. But the dentist said that because it was a baby tooth, I wouldn’t need any numbing injections. He was dead-fricking-wrong. I remember some nurses holding me down, my mum shouting, and what I can only describe as a pair of pliers. I remember screaming, and there being a lot of blood.

So for years I’ve been terrified of them. I couldn’t even walk on the same street as a dentist’s office without having a panic attack. In the last couple of years I’ve had to have my GP give me diazepam (Valium) just so I can sit in the damn chair. I’ve slowly built trust with my dentist, and I don’t need a huge dose to get me in the chair anymore.

Anyway, late last year I finally got to a point where I no longer needed to have any more work done. I’ve had four teeth removed (thankfully back ones), and several fillings. At least 9 of them. Since I started going regularly a couple of years ago, I’ve learned how to brush and floss properly. And according to the dentist at my last appointment last year, since brushing and flossing properly, I’ve managed to reverse the remaining decay I had left. Or, the start of the decay that was there.

But here’s the thing… The last 3-4 months have been so so stressful. I really stopped taking care of myself. I stopped washing regularly, I stopped eating properly and consumed loads of sugar (I’m type 2 diabetic), I stopped brushing and flossing my teeth, I barely took my medication… I was spiralling into an abyss. I felt angry and hopeless literally 24/7…

Then 6 weeks ago I spoke to my GP who then increased one of my antidepressants. Finally, a few weeks ago I started to feel a bit more like myself and I started taking care of myself better.

I’m overdue for a dental checkup and I’m just so scared. I’m worried they’ll be mad, and lecture me or judge me. And I’m also worried that I’m going to have to have more teeth removed… Any time I think about making the appointment I panic all over again and get really overwhelmed… What should I do? How do I explain myself in a way they’ll understand?

Any and all advice is greatly appreciated and welcomed.

#AutonomicDysfunction #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #POTS #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #EDS #jointhypermobility #NAFLD #LiverDisease #BPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Diabetes #Migraines #InterstitialCystitis #IBS #GERD #AcidReflux #Dentist #mouthproblems #Advice #Depression #Anxiety #panic

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#Anxiety #Depression #ChronicFatigue #AcidReflux #HypothyroidismUnderactiveThyroidDisease #Grief
Part 2.
Three days ago, June 4th, it was 31 years since my dad passed away suddenly. This year it didn't hít me as hard as last year and I know the reason why. These days are much more balanced, I feel 80/85 % good and etc. 🌼🌼🌼 💖💖💖

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#TheMighty #Depression #Anxiety #ChronicFatigue #ChronicPain #HypothyroidismUnderactiveThyroidDisease #AcidReflux

I truly believe that these Woods are true, but sometimes less so. Last Sunday I had a great day with my brother's daughter and hér daughter who will be six next fall. ❤️ Often when I have been spending time with my family and return home to a empty appartment; the lonelyness just comes

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Does anyone else's chronic pain flare up when they're *just* about to sleep?🥺

I'm noticing that even if I've taken all my nighttime medication, I still keep getting flare ups as I'm about to go to sleep.

And it's not even some of them flare up, it's every chronic condition seems to take turns to flare up just as I'm bedding down.

Which means I have to either try to heavily distract myself with YouTube videos or if it gets too bad, then eat something (leaving me more likely to binge 🙄) to take stronger or more meds.

Resulting in me going to bed in the morning and doing nothing with my days 😪

Would really appreciate any help or advice lovely people 😊

#Fibromyalgia #ChronicPain #ChronicFatigue #FunctionalNeurologicalDisorder #InterstitialCystitis #IrritableBowelSyndromeIBS #Depression #Anxiety #BingeEatingDisorder #BackPain #Jointpain #AcidReflux #Insomnia

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Ugh feeling really yucky tonight

I did a dumb thing today. I ate an entire bag of sea salt and vinegar pork rinds. Now I don't usually have problems with them but I got a new brand to try and they were sooooo acidic. They burned my mouth and brought me to tears. Within an hour I had the worst acid reflux / #GERD symptoms ever! I'm burping up stomach acid and having chest pain.
I get acid reflux because I have a hiatal hernia. I scheduled my appointment for the barium swallow esophagram for March 3rd. We need to see if I need surgery. Meds have never helped make me feel better.
My hips are stiff and hurting but I've got some Percocet so I should feel better soon. I also took an olanzapine to help me sleep tonight. I want to be clear headed for tomorrow cuz I have to do some major cleaning of my apartment. I've got plans for Sunday and will be hosting a guest.
We're going to get my haircut and then we will go to the grocery store. I'm gonna get food for the month. But we're also going to get the ingredients for naan pizza. After we make pizza we are going to watch a movie (or we'll end up watching Bluey, cuz I've never grown up). It's going to be a good day. I'm very excited. I don't see friends very often, maybe once per month if I'm lucky, so this will be nice.
#CheckInWithMe #GERD #AcidReflux #HiatalHernia

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Gotta catch ‘em all

The last few weeks have been particularly hard on me.

Mentally, I’m mostly okay. Physically, I’m not. And that’s caused me to question a lot of things, wonder how it got to this point, increasing the severity of incidents where I won’t take painkillers.

I’m being referred to cardiology for a tilt table test.

In April, I was told I had low blood pressure but they didn’t seem too worried. At the end of May after worsening lightheadedness, I was told the same, and I was basically just told just to eat more and take iron supplements. And then last week, I went back again.

I initially made the appointment for something else a month before (I had to wait for a month), but then the lightheadedness got worse, so I told them about it again. I told them I had taken iron supplements, I was eating healthier than ever, I was staying hydrated, I was staying active, I was just really doing all the right things. And again it was low.

They’ve diagnosed me with postural hypotension in the meantime and told me to try compression socks for a week, and then if that didn’t work to call them and they’d refer me. So here we are. I get to have a blood test in September while I wait to be seen.

My sinus issues had a major flare up. I was so miserable with it that I sent a email basically begging them to give me an appointment (I was referred back in February but waiting list is apparently a year) because it was beginning to affect my mental health, and I get to see them in October.

It’s affected my hearing, so I had to chase up my ENT appointment. I hope it is just the sinus issues causing it, and not a third relapse of my ear problem, especially as everything seemed perfect last time I saw them. It would be nice to celebrate the first winter in 11 years without an ear infection.

And then of course, my referral for heartburn/ acid reflux. I see the doctors for a one-month review, which will end in the referral they wanted to do (because I had suffered for at least 5 years w/out diagnostics) but held off on. The medication they put me on has somewhat helped, but I’m still having to take gaviscon most days.

Finally, the chronic pain. It’s been difficult these past two days, and after (stupidly) lifting a sofa up because the cat pushed her toy under it (and then she herself went under it so I had to call my sister because I physically couldn’t lift it for much longer), it’s been worse. I still forget that I’m not really supposed to do things like that, and I always pay the price (pun not intended, but yeah cause volatarol is expensive).

I’m just really very tired. I remind myself it could be worse, which is probably what has helped me stay positive and mentally mostly okay, but sometimes it gets to me. Particularly when it’s yet another tablet added to my daily medication. It makes me tired, and I think “it only gets worse as I get older”. I want to stop them, but I know I can’t. I ended up in hospital the last two times I did.

Or another time it bothers me is when everything is getting worse/ is bad/ is happening all at the same time. This post doesn’t even cover all of it, but at this point I’m too tired to write anymore. Speaking of tired, I’ve only had 5 hours sleep each day for the last 3 days. I wake up early and then typically can’t get back to sleep because of pain and insomnia :))

#ChronicPain #Depression #GastroesophagealRefluxDisease #Heartburn #AcidReflux #BloodPressure #Lowbloodpressure #PosturalHypotension #Hospital #DoctorsAppointments #Doctors #Sinus #HearingLoss #ent #cardiology #Hearing #Medication #MentalHealth #Pain #BackPain #Insomnia #Painsomnia

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Uphill battle

Bit of struggle again.

My hearing is going again. The doctor doesn’t seem bothered because it’s not blocked and doesn’t look infected, and said to come back if it continued. It’s already been a month with it and it’s not gone away. Its incredibly frustrating when it goes. Its disorientating. And surely no visible cause is concerning? Especially given I haven’t made it a year post-op yet.

My heartburn and acid reflux have taken a sudden turn for the worse, around 5 years into suffering with it. I was almost constantly taking gaviscon over the last few days after I came back from my holiday, so I booked an urgent appointment because I couldn’t live like it when it was affecting my sleep too. I’ve got a prescription and they want me to have a OGD. I don’t really see why, because it’s genetics.

I also caught covid again. I went out to a concert and that’s all it took. I however kept testing negative from the Tuesday I first was symptomatic, until the Saturday when I finally tested positive. The one time I went out somewhere that had a lot of people. (Disclaimer: I am fully vaccinated, have the booster and I had covid before (another disclaimer: back when the vaccines weren’t around and my entire family were basically key workers)).

Also had a bunch of other minor illnesses and general conditions/ chronic pain I have getting worse. I think it’s gonna be sick girl summer.

#ChronicPain #BackPain #HearingLoss #GastroesophagealRefluxDisease #Heartburn #AcidReflux #COVID19 #Postop #ill #hardtimes

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No help for you! Love, NHS.

From April to November 2021, I sought help. I sought it for so long that things settled down by themselves. So when I finally saw a consultant, he thought that was just great. No further examinations needed, eh? That failed endoscopy you had? No need to reschedule it! Everything the previous consultant suggested (due to a series of mishaps, I ended up seeing a upper GI consultant, not a lower GI one) he said didn't sound necessary.

As someone who lost a lot of weight last year & who has fibro, causing chronic fatigue, I've also had to give up wheat & dairy. Upper GI consultant "I recommend seeing a dietician."
Local NHS services - "Screw that. Referral denied."
I thought if a consultant suggested you get a procedure, you got it. I didn't even know referrals could be denied. I swear it feels like the NHS is dedicated to shutting me out for as long as I live. #AcidReflux #IrritableBowelSyndromeIBS #GastrointestinalDiscomfort

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Explaining pain?

Does anybody else have trouble explaining pain to Drs & others? I sometimes find it hard to put my pain into words. Doctors seem to have a select number of categories for pain. Burning, stabbing, pounding,pins & needles, shooting, sharp, dull, ache. Sometimes none of these apply and sometimes all of them apply. I've found people as well as Drs are dismissive if you can't fit your pain in one of their boxes. #Gastroparesis , #ChronicMigraineSyndrome #DiabeticNeuropathy , #occipital neuralgia, #Fibromyalgia ,#PrinzmetalsAngina , #costrochondritis , #hiatlhernia , #AcidReflux ,

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