So, holidays can suck. Sometimes we have bad years. Sometimes it all comes crashing down around us.
2018 started with complications from two auto accidents in Oct and Dec of 2017. In April, my hip sublexed (#HEDS ) and I shattered my wrist/arm. 16 screws, two plates, and a rod later - plus 12 weeks of PT - “normal” range of motion was achieved. The surgeon gave me my “graduation” papers on a Friday. That following Tuesday morning, I sung Tucker, my service dog and best friend of ten years to sleep. He died of massive organ failure after passing his physical two weeks earlier. That was June. In July, I was informed my lease wasn’t being renewed because of remodeling they wanted to do. In August I moved in with my brother. Since then I’ve had 3 boughts of pneumonia, four cases of bronchitis, and strep. In October, I was told there would be no further healing from the accidents; I am now in a ongoing post cuscussive state - plain English, the brain damage isn’t going to get any better. A week ago, I woke up to find my brother dead on the couch. He hadn’t been taking his antibiotics or using the IV meds for his diabetes wound. The coroner ruled his death “natural causes via failure to thrive”. In essence, Todd killed himself because he didn’t feel like dealing with the infection, even after 6 weeks in the hospital. I would imagine he OD’d.
So, today, my lungs are clear but I’m back on antibiotics because I’m showing signs of systemic infection. At the same appointment, I was informed the cardiologist misdiagnosed my “not having” mytral valve prolapse. That means it’s been untreated for 2 years and the chest pains I dismissed as costrocondronitis and pneumonia and bronchitis were probably my heart, which would have been my first guess had I not been told there was no valve defect. *sigh*
So, when I say #CheckInWithMe , I mean check in with EVERYONE YOU CARE ABOUT, when I say #remembertotakeyourmeds and #practiceselfcare , it’s because that’s how we stay alive. We look out for each other and for ourselves.
If you are reading this, you are here for a reason. You are LOVED. You are CARED ABOUT. If anyone tells you differently tell them to go hang and then send me a discription and location cause “Wanda Mom” has some stress to work out and a couple targets wouldn’t be... bad...
Seriously though, y’all. I’m a suicide survivor. Not a cry for attention. 13 bottles of serious RX piles and a liter of Jack. When i say #CheckInWithMe or #checkonme , I mean let me know how you are as well. Cause y’all matter to me. You are my tribe, and I love you each.
TAKE YOUR MEDS
GO TO YOUR APPOINTMENTS
TALK ABOUT THE HARD SHIT
PRACTICE SELF CARE
#NeverGiveUp
#nevergivein
#keepgoing