A New Vulnerability - Life on the Edge x2
I have Schmidt Syndrome = Adrenal Insufficiency/Addison's Disease + Type 1 Diabetes + Hypothyroidism
I just got diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes, the 3rd leg of Schmidt Syndrome.
I'm feeling vulnerable, as I now have 2 life-threatening diseases. So I'm getting a second medical id to wear. A second sticker on my car. A second key fob with my car keys. A new case to carry all of my diabetic supplies in, and a new patch on a new knapsack to carry everything in. I've informed my friends, my counselors, my doctors, and my family.
But this is the holiday weekend and I really haven't talked to anyone about this and how I'm feeling. I don't think anyone in my family understands what a big deal this is for me.
I know that with time, the anxiety will wear off and turn into a subtle form of confidence, if you can call it that. What I can see is that I have survived this long, and with time, it will get longer. Each day is good enough for me. But now, each day presents an entirely different challenge. I have to pay attention to two different sets of medications, all of the time. I wonder how long I can keep that up, before dropping the ball in some random act of distraction. I feel tied to my house, so I can be near my medications. I feel I have to go an extra mile, to survive each day. But I was already going an extra mile to begin with. I feel overwhelmed. Can I pull this off? Have I done enough, to survive a car accident, a fire, or whatever else happens in the normal course of life? I know that you can have a reasonably long life, but will I get to realize that?
I had a friend with a rare cancer, and he received a card that said, "In the end, everything will be OK. If it's not OK, it's not the end." Clearly the end is not near, but I do wonder what the future holds for me.
On the lighter side, I am 60 yrs old, and I got diagnosed with Juvenile diabetes, something I am very happy about! Because it means I don't have to grow old! I might have to grow up, but I'm definitely not going to get old!