tiredofthetorture

I've had my first manic episode in a long time over the last month, or maybe it was mixed? Who knows?
I'm one of those people that no matter where I am on the spectrum it takes a truck load of tranquilizers and such to put me down. The only difference is how long I'm going to stay down.
They gave me ambien a few years back and it induced terrible hallucinations for an extended period of time.
In the last year I've started sleep walking? I've always been a sleep talker, but this is nuts.
It started with latuda. I do not look at the side effects, my son looked it up for me and it is indeed a side effect.
So we went back to Restoril. And I've started doing it again? I woke up this morning with a big knot on my head, so I didn't take it last night but I did take all of my everything else that should atleast make me sleepy a little... not at all.
Have any of y'all ever done this? #knotsonmyhead #miserable #Sleepwalking #tiredofthetorture #questions #CheckInWithMe #Mania #MixedState #somethingsgottagive

I'm so Damn tired of living with this horrible illness that no one can see but effects everyone and every aspect of my life. I'm so tired of it stealing everything from me. And I'm especially pissed because I only have this as a prize from a tormented hellish childhood from a monster who used me as her dumping grounds play thing and the person the protect her image and care for her all while being molested beaten cursed. What a prize! I hate this life
#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #