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Bipolar mixed episode

A few days ago, I recognized the warning signs that a mixed episode is almost here. I'm extra irritable, extra anxious, overspending, raising my voice for no reason, hyperactive, crying sometimes, reliving memories that make me cringe, cry, angry or all of the above. I'm close to my master's thesis defense and this weekend some sad news about one of my paternal uncles came up. I've been dealing with a fibromyalgia flare that's lasted about two weeks. The pain hasn't lessened and some days I can barely wake up which means I've neglected my meds for a couple of days. I keep having violent nightmares, too. Some are crazy fascinating, others have left me so tense I've made a conscious effort to forget them.
It's only today that it's hit me that I'm headed toward an episode, or am already in the middle of a mild one, and I'm so grateful I've noticed. Usually, mixed episodes just show up and wreak havoc. I hope being aware will help. I need to weather this somehow. #BipolarDisorder #Anxiety #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Fibromyalgia #MixedState

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Just for Today I dont live with Bipolar. Today i get to say I THRIVE. Muggles wouldnt get it. Hope the Mighty Warriors do. so happy I might cry 🥹

This is the only place I can “brag” about being nr 1 at something( other than hospital visits )without feeling guilty….
The results of last fiscal year’s performance evaluation came out today. .
Guys, 2021 was the hardest year so far health wise . Manic episodes with pretty bad psychosis, hardcore depression... Struggled with eeeervything.
Put an end to my toxic relationship, pushed everyone away , isolated myself… Lost friends, Confidence, self love, … lost myself .Probably went to work for like 60% of the year .

Still, I didn’t give up. I made those 60% count. And they did. I work in tech and today …. Today i found out I ranked in 1st place in my business unit. Probably nothing special for my colleagues, but for me, after everything, feels like a miracle. …. Im so happy i might cry 🥹🥹🥹

Today I dont live with Bipolar.
Today I thrive with it. 💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽
Bipolar and proud
.

#TheMighty #BipolarDisorder #MentalHealth #MixedState #MixedMania #manicdepression #BipolarDepression #Anxiety #PTSD #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #Depression

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Anybody with BD Mixed features? Can anyone also feel the switch happening ? How do you cope?

Its so weird how, For example , in the middle of a conversation I realize im starting to take things veeeery personally, Things i normally wouldnt. I have to stop the other person and literally say: “ok,lets come back to this later, what you re saying and what im hearing are different things” . Manic depressive episodes scare the hell out of me… When my mood is crashing, the emptiness is so so so harsh I dont even want to get back to “normal” because i think normal is useless, not worth the trouble. I dont wanna bother people because im always afraid they ll think i just want attention. Last time my sister told me i kept repeating “even when im doing my best im not enough” and that lasted for 5 days after a webinar that didnt go as i hoped. Im not new to mistakes. I normally see them as lessons and a chance to do better.. but when im down.. uff. Im so afraid of what i might do to end the hopelessness : (
#BipolarDisorder #Mania #MixedEpisodes #MixedState #MentalHealth #PTSD

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Defeated! Disappointed & Now Dangerous! #BipolarDisorder #Mania #MixedState #RapidCyclingBipolar #Epilepsy #HeartConditions #help

Reached the stage I have been desperately trying not to😔. For the first time in my life I have actually asked for help, and accepted I need it.
Another 1st for me I am begging for medication. This alone should be a major red flag on its own.
Yes I understand my situation is very difficult and complex and requires careful steps to be taken.
But doing nothing and leaving me hanging is surely a recipe for disaster.
Considering my medical record displays a large Bold Print Red in Colour Title of CAUTION above my name and details, I am considered unstable and a potentially high risk to society. Current events are hard to understand!
If I have ever failed to respond to services, missed an appointment, failed to collect medication etc Which I must admit is basically all the time. I really am my own worst enemy and a difficult patient.
Even after 24hrs AWOL n usually totally unnecessary services normally appoint armed response services to locate me. Ruins Lifes!
However now when I am begging for help and in an emergency situation. No support with my husband n prison, no other family or friends to help. Those I have r n hospital, sick, or in anutha country right now. I am becoming a risk to my son. Unmedicated and physically incapable. No1 will help.
I have called my new mental health team, crisis teams, GPs, consultants and the most helpful information I have been given was to call a family member to come help. Even after stipulating I have no 1 to help me. I have been told some1 would call back however they offices closed hours ago.
My impulsive thoughts are deafening. N my empty room is becoming increasingly crowded and noisy with people I have learned to understand are not real but in my head. tonight though there bothering me. 😔.
Starting to believe my thoughts, I think the only way out now is giving into the darkness and let Luci handle things from here. Shes ready but weneva shes been in charge b4 life has been destroyed and bad things happen.
Put your bets in peepo!
Psychological Emergency, Massive Heart Attack or anutha seizure! Maybe if am lucky all 3!

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I'm tired

My dad passed away in January (non-covid). Having him not here sucksm my mind is everywhere. His death has kicked me in a 6 month mixed-state. It seems like I can't get out of it. The past two months I have spent about $110 on alcohol and other vices. I try to tell my doctor but it when it comes time for an appointment, I shut off and don't say anything. I'm just tired of it all? I

#Bipolar2Disorder #Grief #MixedState

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What foods, beverages, over the counter medications etc. Have you found or learned affect your symptoms?

I looked at a box of caffeine pills today and it said not to use it if you're on lithium. I'm pretty deep into my caffeine addiction currently so it has me digging. Then as I read about that Advil and Aleve came up as well. I'm really curious to see what ya'lls experience has been! #BipolarDisorder #Bipolar1Disorder #PsychiatricMedication #Education #MightyTogether #Depression #Mania #Hypomania #MixedState #Foodforthought

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Bumps in the night #Bipolar1Disorder #Insomnia

I've had my first manic episode in a long time over the last month, or maybe it was mixed? Who knows?
I'm one of those people that no matter where I am on the spectrum it takes a truck load of tranquilizers and such to put me down. The only difference is how long I'm going to stay down.
They gave me ambien a few years back and it induced terrible hallucinations for an extended period of time.
In the last year I've started sleep walking? I've always been a sleep talker, but this is nuts.
It started with latuda. I do not look at the side effects, my son looked it up for me and it is indeed a side effect.
So we went back to Restoril. And I've started doing it again? I woke up this morning with a big knot on my head, so I didn't take it last night but I did take all of my everything else that should atleast make me sleepy a little... not at all.
Have any of y'all ever done this? #knotsonmyhead #miserable #Sleepwalking #tiredofthetorture #questions #CheckInWithMe #Mania #MixedState #somethingsgottagive

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Just pushed through a mixed episode. It was exhilarating, terrifying, and utterly exhausting. Unable to sleep, obsessive thoughts, & substance abuse.

#BipolarDisorder #BipolarDepression #MixedState #mixedepisode #Insomnia #obsessivethoughts #obsessive #Earworm #exhaustion

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