Betrayal #MyCondition
The Mighty One Word Challenge
#MyCondition #Fibromyalgia #ChronicFatigue #ConnectiveTissueDisorder #UnknownCTD #MajorDepressiveDisorder #Anxiety #Migraines #chronicinsomnia #AndTheListGoesOn
I thought I knew my body. I thought I knew the life we were going to live together. I thought I knew her.
One day, out of the blue, she decided to betray me. Let’s be honest here though, was it really one day? Was it really out of the blue?
Her betrayal came so fast, but there were signs along the way. The inability to sleep is where it all began. For years I have tried many things to get her to sleep, to rest. I’ve tried the melodic crashes of the ocean waves, the thunderous claps of a storm. If it is white noise, her ears have heard them all.
Once she got into the rhythm of not sleeping, she slowly allowed depression to creep its way into our lives. How could she? How dare she? What happened to the keeper of the gate?
Anxiety! Anxiety was no burglar in the night. No! stormed the castle walls. Our defenses were caught off guard and my walls crashed to the ground with ease. Betrayal of the worst kind, leaving the door unlocked for the unsavory to enter in and pillage as it sees fit!
Wait! What’s this now? Why can I not move without pain? Pain so deep that I’m not sure I WANT to move, much less if I CAN move.
Betrayal. Betrayal of the worst kind. She let in all those things that no one else can see. Why? Why did she betray me so much, so many times? I trusted her. I trusted that we would enjoy life and live it to the fullest. What happened to our bond? Our bond that would allow us to play with my son as he grows and gets so active. What happened to the trust? The trust that when I stood, I knew she could take me to the destination of my choosing.
Why? When? How? What? No matter how many times I ask her, even in her silence she continues to betray me.
Betrayal.