Migraines

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So tired.

<p>So tired.</p>
Community Voices

Music is my therapy

I listen to music almost all the time. And just to warn you, I’m going to be singing along. (I have a good voice though) My kids complain about it (13,17 both boys and both on the Spectrum but at completely different levels. I suspect that I’m autistic #Autism so I understand why certain things bother them. It doesn’t matter if it’s their favorite song playing, they insist that I turn it down (one seems to have super hearing because he’ll be on the computer (which is between all of the bedrooms and all of the doors are to remain shut) WITH headphones on, and I’ll be on my bed listening to my #Music and possibly singing, and then I’ll hear one of my sons yelling “Turn it down!” And I have to turn it down to where I can barely hear it or put my headphones on. And when I yell to one of my kids from the same place I had been playing music, they yell back “If you’re trying to talk to me then come out here!” Or they knock on the door and I yell “Come in!” And they reply, “What? I can’t understand what you’re saying! Can I open the door?” But my music is WAY TOO LOUD. And then I’m going, but you like Slipknot! And they always say that they don’t want to hear it right now.

So I go out to the porch with a speaker and I can blast my music outside. Music was one of the only things that would calm down our feral #Cat (we’ve had him since he was 5 weeks old and his mother was rejecting him) but he was just amazed at the sounds coming out of my cell phone and stop using his teeth and claws when we had him in the bed. (Side note- no matter how young the feral cat is, and how used to humans they are, they are still wild animals and you have to take time to tame them) His favorite band was #tool . He would actually curl up on the phone and listen.
I have several chronic illnesses and emotional issues—#Ehlers -Danlos Syndrome type 3, #Fibromyalgia , #idiopathic peripheral neuropathy,#Dysautonomia and I’m being evaluated for #Lupus and #rheumatoid arthritis (EDS likes to bring friends), and I have a small cyst on my pancreas that could turn cancerous (my grandfather, great grandmother and my great uncle [my grandfather’s brother and g-grandmother’s son] all died of #pancreatic cancer. I have a bunch of #nodules on my liver and my #thyroid , #Migraines AND #cluster headaches, #hashimotos , and I suspect #Celiac disease since my mother and nephew have it and it would explain a whole lot (right now I’m cutting out dairy, then wheat, then soy-which is difficult because I’m a #Vegetarian ) plus my mental illnesses, #PTSD , #Bipolar disorder,#Anxiety and depression—and those last two are actually a CRITERIA for #EDS .
I have to have my music and be able to listen to it—before I had ear pods, I would just play it on my phone with it stuck upside down in my bra. The music that is played in stores that I have to go to will actually give me a #Migraine so I don’t have any problems with bothering other people by playing my favorite playlist. They need to be exposed to good music anyway.
I loved that I had a Bluetooth radio in my car, and I would have it turned up loud, and when I was smoking (I just quit!) I would have the a/c blasting (I live in #austin #texas , so it’s running year round) and I would have my window down for my cigarette. And this way I could expose people to good music (if I had a chance to say just 5 words to the country, it would be “ STOP LISTENING TO SH*TTY MUSIC”(seriously, what’s with all the smut in popular music today?)) and possibly find another person that enjoyed the bands that I play.
My number one song for my bad days is #invincible by #tool and this song has been my anthem. Also, A Perfect Circle’s #feathers , another #tool song, #thepatient (can you tell that I’m a big fan of Maynard James Keenan? I have everything that he’s released on my phone) and when I’m dealing with my #PTSD , there’s nothing like The (Dixie) Chick’s “Not Ready to Make Nice “and L7’s “Sh*tlist” and a whole lotta Hole.
I’m into a lot of different genres, but mainly #Metal and #Punk (not pop punk! I don’t call that punk. It’s alternative.). And if I’m not in a motorized cart, having a good day, and I can see the security camera, then I’ll start dancing along the aisle (but not with other customers in it unless I can tell that they’re a punky/gothy/metal head/freak and then I’m talking bands with them.
#Music has also been a way for me to meet people with similar tastes. I can’t go to listen to live music or go to a concert because of my #Dysautonomia . I don’t think that they would let me bring in a couple gallons of Gatorade. But I also made a battle vest with band patches and tons of band buttons (mainly punk bands and metal) and people will comment about this or that band, and ask what my favorite album is and my favorite song by that band (I know at least one song by each band and I’ll either name the song that is considered the best or an obscure song by a band that is mainly associated with just one song (like the Sex Pistols—I like the song “Pretty Vacant”) because I don’t just listen to one song, because you’re going to miss out on so many great songs that weren’t played on the radio.
This is what I collect. Music. Musicians. And I’ll research them and tell people obscure things about that musician or band-like that during a Nirvana concert, Kurt Cobain saw a girl being sexually assaulted in the audience and he didn’t say a word but put down his guitar, grabbed the guy and hung him from his belt loop on a prop so everyone could see him and then Kurt went back to his chair and as he was picking up his guitar he said into the microphone while looking towards the guy and said “Now you get to be exposed.” Not the only time a musician has come to the rescue of a fan.
If I’m not listening to my music, that’s a signal that I’m extremely depressed. Because it’s such a part of my coping methods when I’m dealing with pain or exhaustion or anxiety or depression or dehydration or nightmares. I’m not savvy enough to post my parts of my favorite playlist, but for anyone who is dealing with a #chronic illness that has changed their entire life (which one doesn’t?) I highly recommend listening to TOOL’s #invincible from the Fear Inoculum album. And if you’re dealing with #PTSD , listen to A Perfect Circle’s #feathers . That song is like Maynard’s supporting you in your recovery.

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Community Voices

Story Time

<p>Story Time</p>
8 people are talking about this
Community Voices

FND and all it's crazy symptoms

<p><a href="https://themighty.com/topic/functional-neurological-disorder/?label=FND" class="tm-embed-link  tm-autolink health-map" data-id="5b23ce8100553f33fe99303c" data-name="FND" title="FND" target="_blank">FND</a> and all it's crazy symptoms</p>
Community Voices

What should I do about the hot weather?

Hey, everyone. I hope you're all okay and doing as well as you possibly can be. I'm very desperate for some advice on the weather for Monday and Tuesday this week.

My health rapidly gets worse in warm weather. My POTS acts up and I faint a LOT, my joints end up hurting really badly, I get muscle cramps and I dehydrate VERY easily. And when I'm dehydrated, my bladder condition flares up and becomes extremely painful.

On both Monday and Tuesday it's meant to be over 40 degrees, and I can see myself suffering really badly. Does anyone have any tips/hacks/advice for me? I'm willing to try anything. I'm going to keep bottled water in the fridge, make sure I drink as much as I can without popping, and I'll probably stay in bed with my fan directed at me.

Thank you all in advance.

#posturalorthostatictachycardia #EDS #POTS #NAFLD #Diabetes #InterstitialCystitis #Migraines #ChronicPain #hotweather #Tipsandadvice #pleasehelp

12 people are talking about this
Community Voices

Needed Space...

.... to get the thoughts out of head & I'm not a fan of "notes" on the phone.

Here I sit in my car, church parking lot, due to work & the thoughts of anxiety are consuming so much space.
I've noticed the emotions since yesterday & allowed myself to just sit & recognize what my mind & body was trying to tell me.

Last Sunday I returned home from my very first out of state solo trip. Drove 13 hrs from AZ to CO & that was beyond needed. Idk why I allowed self-sabotage to control me for so long. Once I got back, I felt my depression creep in for a day or two. Got that under controlled.

This past Friday I felt my anxiety try to come & play during work. I fought it off due to being at work & not wanting to cause a scene. That night it was good. Went out & saw The Lion King Musical for the first time. Loved it. That calmed the nerves.

Today, I can feel every emotion trying to creep its way back in. I'm trying to remember techniques I've been shared yet some are not quite what is needed.

Tuesday is my session after having a week off. I can not wait for it. Much needed. This therapist has been such a blessing in disguise. Opened so many doors, good & bad, yet the bad has put a lot into perspective. Always looking for the positive in a negative situation. Always reasoning behind actions... I believe.

My mind & body is just full of so much right now. Trying to sit with everything yet trying to push some emotions to the side is exhausting. Remembering I'm at work is what's keeping me from crashing to my knees.

Ya'll, mental illness is not for the weak. This ish is hard.... & I will not be giving up nor giving in. I will come thru on top. I will define my life. This constant "battle" will not.

If you've made it thus far, you're the real mvp. I was just trying to calm thy thoughts the way I know how. Thank you. 🖤

#Anxiety #Depression #PTSD #Trauma #selfsabotage #Migraines #Healing #Therapy #Insomnia #Chatspace #CheckInWithMe #GAD

4 people are talking about this
Community Voices

Today's Therapy Session..

.... opened up some wounds. Ate me alive. Blew my mind. Put shit into perspective.

Attachment Styles was the main topic after talking about roadtrip anxieties.

Y'all, I'm part of the "fearful" group of Attachment Styles. & when I was reading it, my heart sank to the floor. Made complete sense.

Now, here I lay on my bed trying to put all these emotions/thoughts/feelings on paper yet nothing is happening.

I wanted this journey. I'm going to fight this journey.

To my inner child, I'm sorry. You're safe now. You're more loved than before. You're protected. I love you.

#Anxiety #Depression #Insomnia #Therapy #Migraines #Healing #GAD #CheckInWithMe #PTSD #Trauma

9 people are talking about this
Community Voices

Oh migraines, oh migraines you stink.

<p>Oh migraines, oh migraines you stink.</p>
2 people are talking about this
Community Voices

Today's Car Talk...

<p>Today's Car Talk...</p>
8 people are talking about this
Community Voices

Reminder Alarms

..... who has their "alarms" section of their phone set with reminders?! For example, an alarm set to get outside.
An alarm set to go to the gym.
An alarm set to do a small task you've been trying to accomplish yet that ugly depression cloud has been hovering over for quite some time.
An alarm to do one of your favorite hobbies.
An alarm set to write in your journal.
An alarm set to basically be productive..

My therapist has mentioned it to me. My random thoughts have also mentioned it to me yet that silly anxiety/depression of overwhelming distracts me & my alarm section remains empty.

I wanna start being more productive after work & on wknds yet I come home & just lay on my bed. I don't like that feeling. That's not who I am. My laundry has been clean in my basket for months. I just add to it. My art desk is a mess with random junk when it was originally clean with a project to start each week. My apt is dirty. More dusty than dirty. I've been falling back into that dark space & I need to get out.

I've been looking on pinterest for small activities to do around town. Indoors. Restaurants to continue trying. Art projects to try. Healing/Shadow work journal prompts. Yet, here I sit on my bed on my phone..

I can't be the only one with wanting my alarm section to be full of reminders yet leave it blank & hoping this grey cloud moves from above soon?!

#Anxiety #Depression #GAD #Insomnia #Therapy #Healing #Migraines #Trauma #PTSD #CheckInWithMe

24 people are talking about this