biolar

#daily reflections and journal#chronuc pain#chronic illnesses#biolar #happy Light#
Calm day but supporting friend that is terrified of surgery tomorrow morning. Her gallbladder only working @9% so she has no choice

Because of COVID-19 she can not have anyone with her before, during or after surgery till time to go home.
I reminded her that I m in her corner through thick n thin.
I care about her dearly.
Please help me with your thoughts and prayers for her tomorrow and time after surgery while recovering.
Thanks mightiest.

Lithium toxicity. Stopped cold turkey. No choice. I’ve been doing ok without it for over a month now. I suffer the depression end. I don’t think I’ve EVER been like this. I could feel it coming on. Terrible feeling. I’m having to work very hard to keep this coherence and not rambling. It got worse and worse as I was taking my son to his doctor for his physical. I took the wrong highway. I wanted to take the wrong exits. I got us there, a half hour late. But we made it. He drove us home.
He’s never seen me like this. I’ve never felt like this.

I’m seriously racing. My mind is jumping from one thought to another. Sometimes connected. More often not. I intended to take some lithium when I got home. 45 minutes later, I finally did. (Per doctors orders if I need it)
What I really want to do is clean out all the clutter all the papers and just throw them in boxes and take them downstairs. I’m a bit of a slob and procrastinate. Not a good combination for keeping your house neat and tidy. I know it’s going to take time for the lithium start helping. I am very much going to try to stay calm and controlled. My son is going to be home for the rest of the day. I cannot flip out in front of him. What he saw in the car is bad enough.
I think I’m going to put up the hammock and spend some time outside. It is a beautiful day it looks like it’s going to rain later on. I like listening to the rain I find it very soothing.
I’m going to sign off now. I just read over what I’ve written and I think I’ve done pretty well. I actually sound coherent and put together. I can feel myself unraveling though. I’m sure I’ll be back later.
This is the first time I’ve ever written anything like this. Shared anything like this. It was very cathartic. Thank you for listening. 🌺