chronic

#sexual assaults #emotional abuse by parent #CPTSD #chronic pain #fibromyalgia#breast cancer Survivor 20 years # psoriatic and osteoarthritis etc

I'm grateful for the mighty. Not very knowledgeable about PTSD but I want to learn from folks that have been there. Not from medical people that dismiss me.

Trying to see the clouds
Not my footprints
Seeing faces
Not backs of others
Not broken
Just dents
Future
Not endings
Possibilities
Not methods
Trying to move forward today

I don't know what this is. I mean, I do but...well, the thing is, I hate my life. There's nothing new, nothing adventurous - just so-called "real life" - and I hate "real life"!

All I really do is wake up in pain, shower (when I can), get dressed, walk down the street to the restaurant I have breakfast in (I hate eating in my apartment- hate it!), am overwhelmed with more pain, walk back up the street trying not to fall on my face because of my balance (I have mild cerebral palsy) and am in pain. Sounds boring, doesn't it? It is! Although, I will say...I get the feeling that I'm losing my train of thought with all of this. Trying to get it all done so everyone's happy, everything's in place, being wherever everyone else wants me. When is anyone going to do that for me? My answer would be - never!

I'm a loner. Always have been, always will be. I enjoy being alone - I'm much more relaxed when I'm alone. So why do people insist on bothering me? I'm also a bit of a misanthrope. I don't hate anyone, I just want to be left alone!

What does this have to do with anything? All that I've written above, except the bits about being a loner and misanthrope causes pain. Throbbing pain. The kind of pain where I have to lay down and wait until the pain passes.

I feel like I'm wasting my life. Who am I kidding? I AM wasting my life, doing nothing for myself and everything for everyone else. It causes pain, my friends, pain! I'm dreading going back to the apartment and reading a book and I like the book - well, sort of. I need to rethink everything, I believe. Where the hell did that come from? It's true, but...my mind wanders about - must be my ADHD.

Ah, well - I'll stop now. I could go on, but I've said enough for now. I'd like to continue this kind of post though, at some point. I don't know!

Two more things...
1) From the title, people are going to be reading this and be totally confused.
2) If you're wondering what I mean by being a loner, check out Robert Redford in the film "Jeremiah Johnson" (1972). I'm not looking to be a mountain man, but I think you'll get the idea. That's if you're interested.

You know something? I'm hungry for a roast beef sandwich! Hopefully, the Shipt order will be here soon! YIPPIE!

This Forum and its many avenues to go down are very very helpful to me and it just keeps improving. Recently someone asked about tooth brushing and how you deal with that. Every time I floss and brush my teeth it makes me feel so good. We were very poor when I was younger and I didn’t have a toothbrush till I was about 12! And I have weak enamel so my teeth need extra TLC. I always feel prettier after I brushed and flossed. It’s something I can be in control of. #chronic pain

MY SOUL

Home is my body

Air is my breath

Emotions are my humanity.

My body cries out for relief

My breath is strained

My humanity wants rest

MY SOUL CRIESS OUT FOR MERCY...

It wants to go home to HEAVEN

How long the wait?

Whisper Lady

#Depression #chronic pain #Anxiety #Suicide thoughts #mental health

Tired all the time nothing works have no energy hard to do anything even basic. Beyond the pain it's biggest issue prevent me from living. What do I do??#Erythromelalgia #Anxiety #chronic illness