Coronavirus Disease 2019 (COVID-19)

Trying to process multiple near death experiences Illness almost killed me several times this past year #PTSD #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #AutismSpectrumDisorder #COVID19 #Pneumonia #AspergersSyndrome #MentalHealth

Been trying to prevent the er with communicating with my docs and being assertive. Even when admitted into the hospital I was being assertive with them. With the lack of availability of staff and budget cuts it has been hard trying to get home health covered by my insurance. I can’t afford private pay. I have been disabled for a long time. I only get Medicaid and SSI because my disabilities happened at age 23 not before age 22 and I haven’t worked enough prior to qualify. I was working prior to Covid. I got a lot worse since then but I’m still trying to finish my bachelors degree so I can work again. I need help at home with everything right now. When I was getting discharged and finally able to get dressed I hurt myself in the bathroom. I still need help with everything and am just almost as bad as I was coming into the er.
I reached out to my brothers saying dad and I are very stressed and need help. He can’t keep up with everything around the house ontop of taking care of me 24:7 with everything. It’s very overwhelming and fustrating handling this all by ourselves.
They told me I should went to rehab facility and demanded it and I need to move out. I told them I have been trying to get help before it got this bad. I get passed around. Even my docs and the social workers couldn’t find anywhere to go or have home health come in. Their is no other options.
They told me to hang in there and will call me tomorrow when have a chance. My anxiety is through the roof. No one has been listening that things are very bad bc I can’t get help. I need help right now. I don’t want to keep going back to the er. I’m doing everything I can to not crack. I have been pro active assertive and persistent. Things haven’t gotten better. They’ve gotten worse. I’m trying not to sink. I just keep treading water not moving forward. I’m exhausted physically mentally and emotionally. Nothing is working. I’m not a major priority when I should be.
Even in the er I had true serious emergency and didn’t get attended to fast enough when the er wasn’t even super busy nor had life or death situations that every second counts comes in. What not being able to move nor being able to not have bladder and bowel control with that much pain doesn’t count as an emergency when I was able to walk and even pee that morning? Having ptsd flashbacks with this all doesn’t help either. I’ve literally been screaming for help demanding it and not getting it. Our healthcare system is getting worse instead of better.
Government services for people who need them are getting taken away or changing their qualifications for people not to receive it who desperately need it. I’m scared for what America is turning into and will become in my future. Will I even be able to survive down the road? I should have accessible healthcare that’s affordable for all my chronic conditions but I don’t. Things literally changed overnight for me 15 years ago and slowly got worse. Before then I was a very healthy 23 year old. I’m now 38 years old needing the most care I have ever needed in my life and not getting it. I have lost friends over the years due to my health. Don’t want to lose my family as well.
I don’t see any light at the end of this tunnel anymore. I don’t want to be in a nursing home for the rest of my life with not getting proper care there due to lack of staff. It happens every day bc not enough help and staff don’t want to do something that’s not their job. What happened to people being decent kind caring and hardworking wanting to help others? #CheckInWithMe #MentalHealth #IfYouFeelHopeless #Anxiety #Undiagnosed #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #Depression #FamilyAndFriends #Trauma

Hi there!

Is there anyone interested in sharing their experience with COVID-19 and the vaccine? Feel free to send me a message to share or comment below! We're working on a story and could use some help. :) #Moderna #pfizer #Vaccine #COVID

Hi there!

Is there anyone interested in sharing their experience with COVID-19 and the vaccine? Feel free to send me a message to share or comment below! We're working on a story and could use some help. :) #Moderna #pfizer #Vaccine #COVID

Hi, my name is P789. I'm here because I'm looking for long covid support groups.

#MightyTogether

I was diagnosed with BPD at 14. My symptoms were extremely severe for a long time, but I’ve been in remission for years. I am 37. I also have CPTSD, OCD, generalized anxiety disorder and panic attacks, Major depressive disorder, Dysthymic disorder, ADHD, Fibromyalgia, Degenerative disc disease, Arthritis, Spinal stenosis, And other chronic illnesses that involve immense pain and other challenges. I’ve done a lot of work to reach a place of stability and I’ve been doing pretty OK. I got sick last year and I haven’t gotten better. It might be long Covid. I used to live an extremely active life, and now I can’t the body that I was in and the person that I was is no more I am grieving the life. I thought I would have and I am grieving who I used to be. I feel lost and alone, but I have been managing. My husband‘s brother is in the Coast Guard stationed in Alaska. We live in south east United States Tuesday. My husband left to go to Alaska for eight days to visit his brother. He won’t be back till next Tuesday. It’s only been a couple of days And I am really struggling. My thoughts are dark and my BPD is making an appearance. A lot of what I am feeling is valid and there’s a lot of unresolved pain that he has caused through our relationship. I thought I had dealt with that is surfacing. I don’t feel like I can trust him anymore. I also caught him in a small lie. Which reaffirms that I cannot trust him. I thought we had a good relationship, but I think I was fooling myself. He is not a bad husband and he’s not a bad Person. But he’s also, not Ben the husband that I need. I realize I have been really really lonely pretty much our whole relationship there’s certain things I ask him to do and he says he will do and then he doesn’t do them. Or things that I tell him are important to me and he says he hears me and then there’s no follow-through.. He knows my story. He knows what I’ve been through and he knows what I struggle with. I told him he should go on this trip because I wanted to be a good supportive wife, but now I regret saying that he didn’t take the time to have conversations and check in with me to see how I was processing the coming up trip and to see what he could do to make sure I would be OK and have a safety plan in place. I really just want him to come home. I need him to come home but he won’t. If the situation was reversed, I would try and get an earlier flight back. And he’s choosing not to. On one side I get it because this trip is important to himand spending time with his brother is important to him but also what about me? What about our family, he keeps saying how he wishes we were there with him, and he keeps experiencing stuff and seeing stuff that he wishes he could share. and that this is hard for him too. But in all the videos and pictures he sent he looks like he’s having a great time and I’m here broken into 1 million pieces with no one to help hold me together. I feel alone betrayed abandoned and left out. Things that I have felt throughout our marriage as a byproduct of his choices he asked me to give him Grace, but I have nothing left to give. I don’t know where this leaves us I think he expects to come home and everything’s just gonna be fine and that’s not the case. I don’t know what to do. I feel so defeated and letdown by the one person that’s supposed to have my back and the one person that supposed to be there for me for better or worse. And he’s not.