Bipolar 1 Disorder

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Choose your Battles

In my season of change I stumbled upon this picture.

I started a new job and it’s hard to get to my specialists and doctors in time but they provide me with great insurance- choose your hard.

Nick and I just got engaged last week- choose your hard.

I lost 10 pounds from stress - choose your hard.

Nick and I don’t communicate well but we are working together and choosing each other every day- choose your hard.

I may never be a photographer again but sometimes the reward of health insurance when you’re chronically ill… outweigh your passions- choose your hard.

I have a lot of decisions to make. And I have to make sure my health comes first.

I love you, and I’ll see you soon 🧡
#Lupus #AntiphospholipidSyndrome #HypothyroidismUnderactiveThyroidDisease #MentalHealth #Bipolar1

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See full photo

Choose your Battles

In my season of change I stumbled upon this picture.

I started a new job and it’s hard to get to my specialists and doctors in time but they provide me with great insurance- choose your hard.

Nick and I just got engaged last week- choose your hard.

I lost 10 pounds from stress - choose your hard.

Nick and I don’t communicate well but we are working together and choosing each other every day- choose your hard.

I may never be a photographer again but sometimes the reward of health insurance when you’re chronically ill… outweigh your passions- choose your hard.

I have a lot of decisions to make. And I have to make sure my health comes first.

I love you, and I’ll see you soon 🧡
#Lupus #AntiphospholipidSyndrome #HypothyroidismUnderactiveThyroidDisease #MentalHealth #Bipolar1

12 reactions 1 comment
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I’m new here!

Howdy! My name is Trudy🧜🏻‍♀️✨ I have Bipolar 1 Disorder, Combined ADHD, and Complex PTSD. I feel so alone b/c I don't know many people within the mental health community💔 I'm here to learn more about my disorders and to understand other people's pain and their disorders as well✨

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I will be seeing a new psychiatrist next week. I have felt the need to write in my self esteem workbook almost daily now since Early February. I want to share with doctor how tired the 50 mg hydroxyzine makes feel. I have been diagnosed bipolar 1 taking all my meds to help me relax and be calm . In November went to court first time ever. 4 charges, domestic violence, battery, 2 counts disorderly conduct. Been telling my public defender pleading not guilty. Since husband and neighbor lady provoked my fighting with them. Then was out on administrative leave, sly lady called my Mgr after I was taken in custody . So this Feb. 17th I have no up to date DOT fed med certification to continue my bus job, was fired. Add to this my final court day is on March 11th for charges- angry outburst again w/ spouse and a misdemeanor battery charge (neighbor) who described me outside as insane. I unfortunately got in her face. I explained to Police she was looking to use us for $... When I complained to my husband back in Sept and Oct she is after him for babysitting ( for free) and that he must love her, Cause I don't see him talk to me near long enough but he puts forth effort to visit outside when she and her child are there, conversation without me or her hubs, while continues ignoring me and stopped participating with his own grandkids. he denied everything. He complained about how unfortunate her marriage is. Evidently her own hubs didn't pay for a big electric bill in October. So why'd she feel need to be texting my husband? (a swift, sly move )but yet I was taken into custody. I was telling officer to take me to hospital to help find inpatient hospital. I did eventually get into one in January. Now, I can't even apologize to the neighbor cause of her court order of protection. Any one, gone through a mess similar? Thoughts?#BipolarI #Anxiety #MentalHealth

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I will be seeing a new psychiatrist next week. I have felt the need to write in my self esteem workbook almost daily now since Early February. I want to share with doctor how tired the 50 mg hydroxyzine makes feel. I have been diagnosed bipolar 1 taking all my meds to help me relax and be calm . In November went to court first time ever. 4 charges, domestic violence, battery, 2 counts disorderly conduct. Been telling my public defender pleading not guilty. Since husband and neighbor lady provoked my fighting with them. Then was out on administrative leave, sly lady called my Mgr after I was taken in custody . So this Feb. 17th I have no up to date DOT fed med certification to continue my bus job, was fired. Add to this my final court day is on March 11th for charges- angry outburst again w/ spouse and a misdemeanor battery charge (neighbor) who described me outside as insane. I unfortunately got in her face. I explained to Police she was looking to use us for $... When I complained to my husband back in Sept and Oct she is after him for babysitting ( for free) and that he must love her, Cause I don't see him talk to me near long enough but he puts forth effort to visit outside when she and her child are there, conversation without me or her hubs, while continues ignoring me and stopped participating with his own grandkids. he denied everything. He complained about how unfortunate her marriage is. Evidently her own hubs didn't pay for a big electric bill in October. So why'd she feel need to be texting my husband? (a swift, sly move )but yet I was taken into custody. I was telling officer to take me to hospital to help find inpatient hospital. I did eventually get into one in January. Now, I can't even apologize to the neighbor cause of her court order of protection. Any one, gone through a mess similar? Thoughts?#BipolarI #Anxiety #MentalHealth

(edited)
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Openness about suicidal thoughts

I just want to know if other people withhold some of their thoughts and feelings around suicide. I have these thoughts and feelings but I’m scared to voice them because I don’t want to be locked up in a mental health hospital. So I go around acting like I’m okay, but really I just want to end the pain. I’ve been doing ECT treatments for a month and I’ve seen no improvements. They started adding ketamine to my treatment but the only thing I’ve noticed is severe sleepiness. I tend to sleep all day after getting ketamine but I need to be functional for my family. I just need some relief but I’m afraid of telling people I have suicidal thoughts. #SuicidalThoughts #Suicide #Bipolar1 #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Anxiety #Depression

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Openness about suicidal thoughts

I just want to know if other people withhold some of their thoughts and feelings around suicide. I have these thoughts and feelings but I’m scared to voice them because I don’t want to be locked up in a mental health hospital. So I go around acting like I’m okay, but really I just want to end the pain. I’ve been doing ECT treatments for a month and I’ve seen no improvements. They started adding ketamine to my treatment but the only thing I’ve noticed is severe sleepiness. I tend to sleep all day after getting ketamine but I need to be functional for my family. I just need some relief but I’m afraid of telling people I have suicidal thoughts. #SuicidalThoughts #Suicide #Bipolar1 #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Anxiety #Depression

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BIPOLAR ISSUES

HI, Sometimes our Healthcare does not do everything we want it to do and we should help ourselves a bit more, some things I do are read self help books, I enjoy reading outside as it is often quite or more uplifting than my home, in winter months the library or mall is welcoming for this, secondly music amuses me and gets us all through the day, feel free to join music and lyrics group, caring for others is an awesome rewarding pastime but draining, try to be an inspiration instead of a hindrance to yourself, food is also a good way to do this, cooking and recipes, try Nourishment Bistro, crafts like knitting and beading or as I see with some of you painting is great, fabric paint on old bags and sewing on new handles works, you can upcycle grocery bags this way, I would like to get into thrifting as so much can be done with refurbished jeans and clothing, there are loads of websites, housekeeping hacks help as well to give motivation for cleaning, there's also making your own cleansers with essential oil and vinegar and lemon which I shall do in a second, who knows why our lives hit lows sometimes if we are hardworking clean and have good intentions, also inane mundane or brilliant poetry works, but ya'll know all of this already so Peace and Love #Bipolar2 #Bipolar1 #noursh #hobbies #selfhelp #Music #Caregiving

(edited)
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BIPOLAR ISSUES

HI, Sometimes our Healthcare does not do everything we want it to do and we should help ourselves a bit more, some things I do are read self help books, I enjoy reading outside as it is often quite or more uplifting than my home, in winter months the library or mall is welcoming for this, secondly music amuses me and gets us all through the day, feel free to join music and lyrics group, caring for others is an awesome rewarding pastime but draining, try to be an inspiration instead of a hindrance to yourself, food is also a good way to do this, cooking and recipes, try Nourishment Bistro, crafts like knitting and beading or as I see with some of you painting is great, fabric paint on old bags and sewing on new handles works, you can upcycle grocery bags this way, I would like to get into thrifting as so much can be done with refurbished jeans and clothing, there are loads of websites, housekeeping hacks help as well to give motivation for cleaning, there's also making your own cleansers with essential oil and vinegar and lemon which I shall do in a second, who knows why our lives hit lows sometimes if we are hardworking clean and have good intentions, also inane mundane or brilliant poetry works, but ya'll know all of this already so Peace and Love #Bipolar2 #Bipolar1 #noursh #hobbies #selfhelp #Music #Caregiving

(edited)
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a poem - untitled

i often write poems to help me process my emotions & life experiences. i figured why not share here where others might be able to relate. #Anxiety #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Bipolar1 #ADHD

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