Bipolar 1 Disorder

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What songs do you listen to that help you get through a hard day with ?

Music can be a powerful tool for managing tough days, especially with bipolar disorder. 🎶 What are the songs that lift you up, soothe your mind, or help you find balance when things feel overwhelming?

Share your go-to songs!

#BipolarDisorder #MentalHealth #BipolarDepression #Bipolar1Disorder #Bipolar2Disorder

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Not able to do this anymore. Help w your thoughts pls

I have spent more than the last 5 years trying in every way i could to get the medical system and my community mental health providers to see/be willing to see that i had some kind if parasite attacking me. From convo 1 i was tokd kim you have bipolar 1 (and complex trauma) and this is psychosis nothing does what you are describing. Many times i have thought the visible evidence was enough that finally being literally treated in abusive manners for wanting help was going to be done because thjngs were so clear, only to find er drs and acute care providers etc who wont even let me tell them whst has promoted me to do things like sit (as partiently as possibke—- and w my myriad if medical disabilities most importantky a primary immunodeficiency, i have spent lots of time in hospitals), all night to be seeen in ER for the situation only to have what hapoened 2 1/2 weeks ago and again yesterday (monday morning) happen. The dr wont even let me tell or show them anything, 2 1/2 weeks ago literally saying that this is a psychosis and im discharging you and be unwilling to talk or interact any further, or yesrerday when i had almost passed out was still having the room spin and feeling extremely shaky and weak — note low potasssiumnabd a significantly prolonged QTc (cardiac interval) had caused me to pass out and spend 6 days here and i hadnt been home 24 hours yet — and we very quickly discovered i am now covid positive.— the dr once again discharged me and i tried to say w my primary immunodeficiency and so forth and there is more medically and environmentally hapoening than i wanted to get into and she told me that “ you are being discharged andx thsr The ER is not the venue for this.” I know this sounds completely crazy but i am sitting here in the waiting room waiting for tgd bus to start runing (i guess anyway) because ibcame back 7 hoursblater havung chest pain and also beyond desperate but knowing opening my mouth woukd definitely not go well — esp as the nurses were disgusted at my return and laughing as tho i was completely stupid and completekh deaf despite fact that even with a good protective headcover on and a shirt that covers my full back snd neck , so much is falling or diving or whatever off my body that the stretcher sheet was visible startjn v to be coated and my purple shirt us more white than purple and anyone who stood near and looking at my and coukd see could hardly havd missed the things falling and moving, i was discharged before 2am and have sat here in a (very very unusually and strangely empty ) waiting room w no patients for 4 hours waiting for busee to. Start running or uber prices to stop surging all the while trying to figure oilutvwgat the hell to do now as my therapist and my pharmacumist best frirmds will telll you this is real and we have been talking about thd possibity that after 5 + years and as severe as the problem has clearly become kver this calrndsr year, even if everyyne did tgeir very vest snd everythjng tight this may now not be survivable medically, and after being ignored while i know they had to see this and after all the abuse and mistreatment and iver and ovdr againnripping the life i keep startibv to piece togetger to shreds when this once again flares (although fir almost a year it gas jyst gotten worse andxworse — no flares) i have been sitting heres truthfully wishing i was t so damn stubborn about my surviving (over and over in my life) and tgst i wass braver so i could just end this withb my life. But i am me and botg those thjbgs are cery real abdc true about me, and so i literally ding kniw what to do. I cannot ince again. Go hime snd continue as my apt is so contaminated i get 20 x worse inb15 min and my most special, wonderful loving little esa kitty is clearky suffering noth from what i have spread tk her abx throughout thd space and from my ibability to comfort snd be tgeee anx make it better, and i hust cant even walk onto the hallway again the guikt and grief themselves might kill me frankly, but i know telling anyone here i am psychiatrically jot ok now wont be taken as an honest and real statement being made bc i am trying to do what is right, and i also know in any situation that i need an ambulance tgey will bring me gere no matter what i want, and havjng never been in tge er heree w a psych issue this got me sent trightbti psych section of er upon presentation of mysekfcwhen whetger this partg isxreal oorcpsychosis or whatever in their minds, i was saying i wass medically unwell. And seek in v meducal help and tgey frew labsxand took everything from. Me and held me w no medical or mh care at all ivernight onky to wakr me the next morning and inform me i had been discharged by tge dr before shift change and his deparrture almost 4 hrexearlier snd i needed to leave — and they had drawn labsxtgst ifcthey had lokked at woukd have shown them meducal need such that the QTc andxpotassium issues weee alreadyvpresent abd they onky worsened befotd i was back almost a week later w a dangerously low bp and not okay and tgey enddd up habmcubg to admit and keep me and provide mrdical treatment, i am being treated worse w every interaction i have w anyone here bc of that psych er now being on the recordx rather than my diagnoeses and meds bring in my echart and so forth. I dont have funds to ubdr or lyft elsewhere even though many teaching hospitalx in the metro anx suburban area, plus i know showing up
Elsewhere now woukd nr seen as a reason to believe i am acting in wats that give them every rught to treat me w no dignity or respect etc, and on top of that i am beyond exhausted and not well and feeling so so unable tk go try to takr bus anywhere in so many leveks, but hust ad ms unwilling to tryto get any more care here. And while i have nk plans i honestly havd never felt despite my many very serious illnesses and my multiple really bad experiences that have contributed to complex trauma, felt less interestec i or willing to continue w life. Help w encouragement or thoughts but not dictates oc what i need to di please! Thx

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How do you recognize when you're entering a depressive episode?

Recognizing the early signs of a depressive episode can be tough, but it’s so important. How do you know when you're entering one?

#BipolarDepression #BipolarDisorder #Bipolar2Disorder #Bipolar1Disorder

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Moving Is Discouraging Me.

The rent went up again and my family and I have to move. To save money we have to move in with another family. Leaving the comfort of my home and living with people is not agreeing with me. I need stability, peace and calm in order for my bipolar disorder and I to thrive. If I'm not stable then I am a nightmare to live with. I have powerful moodswings that can make most likely break a person. I don't want to be this way but this is the way I've always been. I'm trying not to get anxious or depressed about this move, this whole process is discouraging to me. I'm really concerned about my mental health and how others will endure me. #Bipolar1 #Bipolar anger
#moodswings #moving
#uncertaintyoflife #Anxiety
#Depression # mental health

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Moving Is Discouraging Me.

The rent went up again and my family and I have to move. To save money we have to move in with another family. Leaving the comfort of my home and living with people is not agreeing with me. I need stability, peace and calm in order for my bipolar disorder and I to thrive. If I'm not stable then I am a nightmare to live with. I have powerful moodswings that can make most likely break a person. I don't want to be this way but this is the way I've always been. I'm trying not to get anxious or depressed about this move, this whole process is discouraging to me. I'm really concerned about my mental health and how others will endure me. #Bipolar1 #Bipolar anger
#moodswings #moving
#uncertaintyoflife #Anxiety
#Depression # mental health

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Body Modification as a Healing Tool

For those that know me, tattoos are a big part of my life. I have six, now seven with the mushroom pictured below. For years I struggled with body dysphoria as a transgender male and body image issues from abuse and body shaming brought on by relatives. At one point, I even considered being anorexic because the abuse was bad. I still struggle with the abuse and with a lot of shame. I was taught to be perfect but I never will be and it’s about time everyone wakes up to that realization.

Body modification is a way to reclaim my body. It’s a way to say this is mine and I will decorate/modify how I please. It makes me feel unique and like I can express my individuality which was always seen as a negative trait when it’s what makes me most beautiful. I got this mushroom because well I have been smoking a lot of ganja and it brings me, most times, a sense of peace. I also love science fiction stuff and this mushroom looks like it could be straight out of an H. P. Lovecraft story. What are your own unique ways of healing? ❤️‍🩹 #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #Bipolar1

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Body Modification as a Healing Tool

For those that know me, tattoos are a big part of my life. I have six, now seven with the mushroom pictured below. For years I struggled with body dysphoria as a transgender male and body image issues from abuse and body shaming brought on by relatives. At one point, I even considered being anorexic because the abuse was bad. I still struggle with the abuse and with a lot of shame. I was taught to be perfect but I never will be and it’s about time everyone wakes up to that realization.

Body modification is a way to reclaim my body. It’s a way to say this is mine and I will decorate/modify how I please. It makes me feel unique and like I can express my individuality which was always seen as a negative trait when it’s what makes me most beautiful. I got this mushroom because well I have been smoking a lot of ganja and it brings me, most times, a sense of peace. I also love science fiction stuff and this mushroom looks like it could be straight out of an H. P. Lovecraft story. What are your own unique ways of healing? ❤️‍🩹 #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #Bipolar1

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Bipolar Disorder Explained: My Story Laided Bare #BipolarIIDisorder #Bipolar1 #BipolarDisorder #BipolarDepression #MentalHealth

Firstly, if you have read this before then I apologise for the repeated post. Secondly, this post is a very graphic and honest depiction of what Bipolar Disorder is to me. I guess some of you might relate where others don’t but as a collective I think that we all share some common ground about how much we are impacted by this situation.

Thank you in advance for taking the time to read this post and feel free to comment below if you feel comfortable to do so. Love and best wishes, Stuart 🤗

So, if you are reading this and you suffer from Bipolar Disorder you may be able to understand. Please don’t think I’m being condescending but if you don’t then you’ll possibly have to take 5 minutes to get your head around it. However, I’m just going to write about what it is like for me, and this will be different for everyone but it’s still relatable.

I take three different medications each day. An antidepressant, an antipsychotic and a mood stabiliser. Fluoxetine (Prozac) is my antidepressant, Olazapine is my antipsychotic, these two work well together, and then I have Lithium to stabilise my mood. So the Chemistry behind this is that I take one to stop me dropping into the deep depression and one to stop me going to the highest echelons of mania and then one of them secures my mood In the spectrum of 4-7 or so of my mood. To explain what it is I mean, Bipolar has a scale. Imagine 0-10 with 0 being the deepest depression and 10 being the highest high. These extremes are uncomfortable, uncontrollable and impossible to find anyway to live productively with. The medication enables me to get mood-shifts that don’t dip below a 4 or go higher than a 7. Don’t get me wrong, the mood shifts are still different than the norm and they have an impact on the way that you can live. However though, the mood shifts are really difficult to manage.

I have questions. A multitude of questions in fact. I have had a period of self harm (be aware that there’s a picture of my scars below this paragraph). I’m a Catholic, I told my Health Professionals that I understood from a community for Mental Health called the Mighty, that self harm could be attributed to the fact that the Devil gets into you via your weakest side. I’m right handed, yet I cut my right forearm with my left hand. Please let me know what you think?

I don’t have any routine. I get some semblance of one for about a week or less then I’m back to square one again. Firstly, sleep. I have a great deal of trouble getting off to sleep. I take Olazapine at night so you would think it would help. Also I’m coming off Lorazepam slowly as I’ve got a dependence but I’m thinking that it isn’t working as normal due to me being on it for three years on and off. I have stages though. Thursday just gone for example I felt really tired all day. I was up at 7am and went to the shop to get my parents their newspapers and bits they needed from the supermarket. I got back and went back to bed to watch TV, and I woke up at 7am this morning. That’s nearly 48 hours or so of sleep. I’m going to be honest, I felt horrendous when I woke up today.

The above picture may seem lighthearted to some but it’s not at all. I’m well aware that you have to adapt your demeanour to suit certain situational and then interacting with people. But also, you are managing the different personalities of yourself that you have when you’re in your own company.
Sometimes I find myself having a full blown conversation with myself that is one version of myself talking to another version of myself. “Please don’t do that again, I have to sort it out!?!”. It’d be nice to have an understanding about the situation from people that being in a situation where you have a conversation with yourself isn’t the crazy person’s action or something like that that is classed as weird, but it’s just something that makes me who I am.
Furthermore, I have multiple conversations with myself in my own head that happen every time I’m in the company of others but I don’t share these. I’m just hoping that you realise how it is the same as you do, it’s my imagination that’s just a little bit more prominent in my head than yours.

I’ve had people brand me as a nutter, weird, fucked in the head, not right etc etc and the best one – “it’s because of the Cocaine”

I’m the first to admit I absolutely love Cocaine. I have used it chronically from about the age of 20 until I my late 30s. I never had a feeling of being myself or completely comfortable from anything else. I have social anxiety too, I didn’t know this at Uni but when I was there I needed a pint of beer to relax. One to two to three to four then that wasn’t working for me. However, university is awash with anything you want. I tried Weed, Speed, Ecstasy and Cocaine. Cocaine worked for me. I worked out in my own experiment what it’s critical point was (the amount that it’s the most potent before becoming abused). It levels me out. Look it up, it’s an SNDRI, type that into Google and see on Wikipedia the chemistry of what it does.

Regards my medication. I have to take them every day. Does this make me an addict?
You fall and break your arm and the doctor puts it in a cast to make it as close to what it was as you can do. I go to the doctor and I’m given pills that make me into someone who looks like me, but in reality, it’s not me.
#MentalHealth #MightyTogether #MoodDisorders

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Bipolar Disorder Explained: My Story Laided Bare #BipolarIIDisorder #Bipolar1 #BipolarDisorder #BipolarDepression #MentalHealth

Firstly, if you have read this before then I apologise for the repeated post. Secondly, this post is a very graphic and honest depiction of what Bipolar Disorder is to me. I guess some of you might relate where others don’t but as a collective I think that we all share some common ground about how much we are impacted by this situation.

Thank you in advance for taking the time to read this post and feel free to comment below if you feel comfortable to do so. Love and best wishes, Stuart 🤗

So, if you are reading this and you suffer from Bipolar Disorder you may be able to understand. Please don’t think I’m being condescending but if you don’t then you’ll possibly have to take 5 minutes to get your head around it. However, I’m just going to write about what it is like for me, and this will be different for everyone but it’s still relatable.

I take three different medications each day. An antidepressant, an antipsychotic and a mood stabiliser. Fluoxetine (Prozac) is my antidepressant, Olazapine is my antipsychotic, these two work well together, and then I have Lithium to stabilise my mood. So the Chemistry behind this is that I take one to stop me dropping into the deep depression and one to stop me going to the highest echelons of mania and then one of them secures my mood In the spectrum of 4-7 or so of my mood. To explain what it is I mean, Bipolar has a scale. Imagine 0-10 with 0 being the deepest depression and 10 being the highest high. These extremes are uncomfortable, uncontrollable and impossible to find anyway to live productively with. The medication enables me to get mood-shifts that don’t dip below a 4 or go higher than a 7. Don’t get me wrong, the mood shifts are still different than the norm and they have an impact on the way that you can live. However though, the mood shifts are really difficult to manage.

I have questions. A multitude of questions in fact. I have had a period of self harm (be aware that there’s a picture of my scars below this paragraph). I’m a Catholic, I told my Health Professionals that I understood from a community for Mental Health called the Mighty, that self harm could be attributed to the fact that the Devil gets into you via your weakest side. I’m right handed, yet I cut my right forearm with my left hand. Please let me know what you think?

I don’t have any routine. I get some semblance of one for about a week or less then I’m back to square one again. Firstly, sleep. I have a great deal of trouble getting off to sleep. I take Olazapine at night so you would think it would help. Also I’m coming off Lorazepam slowly as I’ve got a dependence but I’m thinking that it isn’t working as normal due to me being on it for three years on and off. I have stages though. Thursday just gone for example I felt really tired all day. I was up at 7am and went to the shop to get my parents their newspapers and bits they needed from the supermarket. I got back and went back to bed to watch TV, and I woke up at 7am this morning. That’s nearly 48 hours or so of sleep. I’m going to be honest, I felt horrendous when I woke up today.

The above picture may seem lighthearted to some but it’s not at all. I’m well aware that you have to adapt your demeanour to suit certain situational and then interacting with people. But also, you are managing the different personalities of yourself that you have when you’re in your own company.
Sometimes I find myself having a full blown conversation with myself that is one version of myself talking to another version of myself. “Please don’t do that again, I have to sort it out!?!”. It’d be nice to have an understanding about the situation from people that being in a situation where you have a conversation with yourself isn’t the crazy person’s action or something like that that is classed as weird, but it’s just something that makes me who I am.
Furthermore, I have multiple conversations with myself in my own head that happen every time I’m in the company of others but I don’t share these. I’m just hoping that you realise how it is the same as you do, it’s my imagination that’s just a little bit more prominent in my head than yours.

I’ve had people brand me as a nutter, weird, fucked in the head, not right etc etc and the best one – “it’s because of the Cocaine”

I’m the first to admit I absolutely love Cocaine. I have used it chronically from about the age of 20 until I my late 30s. I never had a feeling of being myself or completely comfortable from anything else. I have social anxiety too, I didn’t know this at Uni but when I was there I needed a pint of beer to relax. One to two to three to four then that wasn’t working for me. However, university is awash with anything you want. I tried Weed, Speed, Ecstasy and Cocaine. Cocaine worked for me. I worked out in my own experiment what it’s critical point was (the amount that it’s the most potent before becoming abused). It levels me out. Look it up, it’s an SNDRI, type that into Google and see on Wikipedia the chemistry of what it does.

Regards my medication. I have to take them every day. Does this make me an addict?
You fall and break your arm and the doctor puts it in a cast to make it as close to what it was as you can do. I go to the doctor and I’m given pills that make me into someone who looks like me, but in reality, it’s not me.
#MentalHealth #MightyTogether #MoodDisorders

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