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Appointment day. Really nervous. I’ve been back and forth with ENT for the last 18+ years and every time X surgery is meant to solve it and then the worst-case circumstance of Y happens. Finally getting told how my hearing is doing as well. Probably a bit of a trauma-related anxiety as when I got bad news last time my ex broke up with me within the hour of telling them. I know my partner wouldn’t do that, but having had something happen once means that the fear of it happening again is always somewhat there, regardless of any differences or specifics.

Also have my blood test tomorrow. Last one was abnormal & WBC was on the lower side of normal despite being ill (normally the opposite happens), and having had a quite low WBC before (which landed me seriously ill in hospital) the anxiety is there. I’m sure it will be fine, it’s just again a trauma response.

#ent #appointments #bloodtest #wbc #Anxiety #Trauma #Waitinggame #appointmentday

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Soap opera life

Sometimes it feels like my life is a soap opera.

I now have a harasser/ stalker. I haven’t felt safe where I live but don’t really have anywhere else to go until tomorrow, which would then mean being in the same house as my ex boyfriend and that’ll just have a whole other impact on my mental health.

I’m hoping I am actually safe here though as my neighbours and flatmates know what the person looks like, as well as the buildings security. Been clear so far as far as I know.

In great news (understatement), my blood test results came back normal!! On the lower end of the normal range but it’s normal and that’s all that matters.

I’m still bruising and losing weight though, so I have a doctors appointment on Tuesday. I’m now below 7 stone, and I don’t remember the last time I was. Also losing hair.

ENT appointment on Monday and I’m impatiently waiting. I just want to know what kind of course of action they want to do. And also to confront them about why they never told me about the cholesteatoma.

Chronic pain has been bad unfortunately. I actually had to take painkillers. It’s a lot of sudden sharp pains and it seems to be pretty constant. It is what it is though.

#ChronicPain #ent #Stalker #Harassment #bloodtest #WeightLoss #HearingLoss #HairLoss

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Sharp Scratch

When you have so many blood tests you just get a tattoo to save them the worry of saying it.
#sharpscratch #bloodtest #spoonietattoo #conversationstarter