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Nerves

Appointment day. Really nervous. I’ve been back and forth with ENT for the last 18+ years and every time X surgery is meant to solve it and then the worst-case circumstance of Y happens. Finally getting told how my hearing is doing as well. Probably a bit of a trauma-related anxiety as when I got bad news last time my ex broke up with me within the hour of telling them. I know my partner wouldn’t do that, but having had something happen once means that the fear of it happening again is always somewhat there, regardless of any differences or specifics.

Also have my blood test tomorrow. Last one was abnormal & WBC was on the lower side of normal despite being ill (normally the opposite happens), and having had a quite low WBC before (which landed me seriously ill in hospital) the anxiety is there. I’m sure it will be fine, it’s just again a trauma response.

#ent #appointments #bloodtest #wbc #Anxiety #Trauma #Waitinggame #appointmentday

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Long Week

It has been a heck of a week so far. I am exhausted. I have had a doctors appointment every day this week and I had TWO today lol. Today I found out I have to have surgery and after that one possibly more. Ugh. I can't catch a break. (Lol) I had to come clean about cutting today. It's been a struggle. Hopefully my appointment free day tomorrow will go ok! I hope everyone is doing well!! xxx

#ent #tired #Selfharm

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Ear Problems

Going back to my ENT this week because the hole in my left eardrum hasn’t healed up and it keeps bothering me. My right ear has been bothering me ever since my last ear infection last year. I had to get tubes when I was younger, so I don’t know if it’s time to get them again, but I know I’m definitely going to have to get the hole in the other ear patched up because the last time we did a hearing test I was losing hearing in that ear, but know I’m having problems with my right ear. #earproblems #eartubes #ent #earinfections #HearingLoss #frustration #ChronicInfections

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Normal MRI… what now?

My MRI results came back as normal & ENT have discharged me.

I’m not quite sure what to do. Does this mean I have to deal with migraines for the rest of my life now? My hearing randomly going? The pain and mental attacks from the increases during colds etc?

I know, I should be grateful that it’s normal. But I’m just feeling lost and frustrated. There’s no plan now other than just having to deal with it.

#Sinus #ent #MRI #symptoms #ChronicPain #ChronicMigraines #Hearing #MentalHealth #Feelinglost #normal #WhatNow

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Gotta catch ‘em all

The last few weeks have been particularly hard on me.

Mentally, I’m mostly okay. Physically, I’m not. And that’s caused me to question a lot of things, wonder how it got to this point, increasing the severity of incidents where I won’t take painkillers.

I’m being referred to cardiology for a tilt table test.

In April, I was told I had low blood pressure but they didn’t seem too worried. At the end of May after worsening lightheadedness, I was told the same, and I was basically just told just to eat more and take iron supplements. And then last week, I went back again.

I initially made the appointment for something else a month before (I had to wait for a month), but then the lightheadedness got worse, so I told them about it again. I told them I had taken iron supplements, I was eating healthier than ever, I was staying hydrated, I was staying active, I was just really doing all the right things. And again it was low.

They’ve diagnosed me with postural hypotension in the meantime and told me to try compression socks for a week, and then if that didn’t work to call them and they’d refer me. So here we are. I get to have a blood test in September while I wait to be seen.

My sinus issues had a major flare up. I was so miserable with it that I sent a email basically begging them to give me an appointment (I was referred back in February but waiting list is apparently a year) because it was beginning to affect my mental health, and I get to see them in October.

It’s affected my hearing, so I had to chase up my ENT appointment. I hope it is just the sinus issues causing it, and not a third relapse of my ear problem, especially as everything seemed perfect last time I saw them. It would be nice to celebrate the first winter in 11 years without an ear infection.

And then of course, my referral for heartburn/ acid reflux. I see the doctors for a one-month review, which will end in the referral they wanted to do (because I had suffered for at least 5 years w/out diagnostics) but held off on. The medication they put me on has somewhat helped, but I’m still having to take gaviscon most days.

Finally, the chronic pain. It’s been difficult these past two days, and after (stupidly) lifting a sofa up because the cat pushed her toy under it (and then she herself went under it so I had to call my sister because I physically couldn’t lift it for much longer), it’s been worse. I still forget that I’m not really supposed to do things like that, and I always pay the price (pun not intended, but yeah cause volatarol is expensive).

I’m just really very tired. I remind myself it could be worse, which is probably what has helped me stay positive and mentally mostly okay, but sometimes it gets to me. Particularly when it’s yet another tablet added to my daily medication. It makes me tired, and I think “it only gets worse as I get older”. I want to stop them, but I know I can’t. I ended up in hospital the last two times I did.

Or another time it bothers me is when everything is getting worse/ is bad/ is happening all at the same time. This post doesn’t even cover all of it, but at this point I’m too tired to write anymore. Speaking of tired, I’ve only had 5 hours sleep each day for the last 3 days. I wake up early and then typically can’t get back to sleep because of pain and insomnia :))

#ChronicPain #Depression #GastroesophagealRefluxDisease #Heartburn #AcidReflux #BloodPressure #Lowbloodpressure #PosturalHypotension #Hospital #DoctorsAppointments #Doctors #Sinus #HearingLoss #ent #cardiology #Hearing #Medication #MentalHealth #Pain #BackPain #Insomnia #Painsomnia

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What's up with this chronic nose inflammation?

Hey all, Ive been having inner nose inflammation for at least 3 months, its worse in the right. I do have chronic sinus issues,but never this. You just look up my nose and the tissue is red. It hurts and has caused nosebleeds at times. I've been to the ENT and they gave me a steroid nasal rinse and ointment. It helped some but didn't go away. I was kinda peeved they weren't trying antibiotics, which i know...i know all about them. It feels raw in these areas and can be pretty painful, cause headaches. I have to go back but am not happy with the treatment plan as I cannot take oral steroids, but that is all they offered. Not sure what to do..just really lost and frustrated. I've had nasal issues over half my life and never had this. I know its not covid, ive been tested. Im on an allergy shot, i take meds, nose rinses, flonase etc. I don't get it at all and not getting much help.#chronicdisease #ChronicIllness #SinusInfection #ent #Inflammation #RareDisease #ChronicPain #nosebleed #Undiagnosed #Upallnight #AutoimmuneDisorder #AutoimmuneDisease #Anxiety #Fibromyalgia #Migraine #nosepain

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Recovery Period

So on Sunday I had begun my self isolation, and I hated every second of it. My mental health was incredibly low, and I never got anything done as my schedule was an absolute mess.

On Thursday I had my surgery and it went well. They didn’t have to cut behind my eardrum which was brilliant and meant less stitches. I woke up in the recovery room and was in so little pain that I went back to sleep 😂

Not the case now of course! I’m in a fair bit of pain which isn’t affected by the painkillers, my ear is bleeding and the left side of my mouth is numb. Living with chronic pain though, I’m fairly unbothered and just living with it as I know it’s only temporary. Oh! I’m also pretty deaf in that ear but that was the one thing I was expecting the most.

I have a post-op appointment in 3 weeks which I’m a little nervous about. I had to have this op because I was in the 1% that had a perforation from a grommet, and then I was also in an even lower percentage for a cholesteatoma. There’s a 3% chance of this op being unsuccessful.

Though of course I’m not spending much time worrying. I’m just cautious about celebrating early about closing a 16 year chapter. And I doubt it’ll be immediately obvious yet in terms of whether the op was unsuccessful. After all, last time things looked successful and good for a year and then it wasn’t. Then it stayed stable for 4 years and then it didn’t. It’s just in the back of my mind.

#ChronicPain #Surgery #Operation #HearingLoss #tympanoplasty #ent #MentalHealth

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Expect the unexpected

Two weeks ago, I had a call asking to arrange pre-op. I didn’t think much of it at the time, other than it was a bit early. And then last week I had a call giving me a date for surgery, which is in 2 weeks time.

It’s caused a mixed of emotions. I’m grateful that I’m getting it over with sooner rather than later, but confused as to how I skipped the 6-month+ waiting list. Having it now is better than in the summer though, as I’m typically prone to infections more in the winter than the summer (I haven’t had a single winter without an infection in 10 years now).

In other news, last week I was urgently referred to CMHT, and then today told my case wasn’t being taken on as I’m already under another service. I knew from the tone of voice the person who called me today had what the news was going to be.

In the last piece of news, I filled in the pre-assessment forms for dyspraxia, and have a meeting to discuss it in two weeks. The more I read about it, the less I think I have it, but at the same time I definitely have some difficulties that overlap dyspraxia symptoms.

#Dyspraxia #MentalHealth #Depression #Surgery #Operation #ent #CMHT

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Back on the waiting list

They think the hearing loss isn’t because of the ear infection, and after saying no for 5 years I finally said yes to surgery. Waiting list is at least 6 months.

Doctors appointment tomorrow to see what they suggest for the weight loss and bruising. I wonder if they’ll think it’s a relapse of my ED. I never realise them myself.

#bruising #bruise #weight #WeightLoss #ED #EatingDisorder #AnorexiaNervosa #ent #Surgery #HearingLoss

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Soap opera life

Sometimes it feels like my life is a soap opera.

I now have a harasser/ stalker. I haven’t felt safe where I live but don’t really have anywhere else to go until tomorrow, which would then mean being in the same house as my ex boyfriend and that’ll just have a whole other impact on my mental health.

I’m hoping I am actually safe here though as my neighbours and flatmates know what the person looks like, as well as the buildings security. Been clear so far as far as I know.

In great news (understatement), my blood test results came back normal!! On the lower end of the normal range but it’s normal and that’s all that matters.

I’m still bruising and losing weight though, so I have a doctors appointment on Tuesday. I’m now below 7 stone, and I don’t remember the last time I was. Also losing hair.

ENT appointment on Monday and I’m impatiently waiting. I just want to know what kind of course of action they want to do. And also to confront them about why they never told me about the cholesteatoma.

Chronic pain has been bad unfortunately. I actually had to take painkillers. It’s a lot of sudden sharp pains and it seems to be pretty constant. It is what it is though.

#ChronicPain #ent #Stalker #Harassment #bloodtest #WeightLoss #HearingLoss #HairLoss

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