BLPD

#Fibromyalgia
#Bipolar #PTSD #BLPD #Anxity

My new motto is fidromyalgia you never know what are going to get.
One minute I hurt bad next I'm so tired then I'm stiff and can barely walk.

I have an appointment with my primary doctor who is also an internist. It started in June with some of the stupid questions she was asking me, like if I was doing something with my hands to make purplish markings on my bicep. So I just knew at that point something had changed. So I have an appointment with her tomorrow. This is a follow up from last month because “she” diagnosed me with Livedo. She never explained what Livedo is but blamed it on my meds. I’m on 18 meds a day. I have auto-immune disorders (several) plus mental illnesses. Some of those are supplements. I really know what the problem is, I’m on a pain med. I’ve been on this pain med since 2010. It’s going to be 10 years and never failed a drug test. Doctors never review those details they just look at the list.
So my primary referred me to a dermatologists. I was lucky to get in the next day with the Dermo. The Dermo is in the same building and insurance network. This Dermo sat down looked at her computer and said it’s your meds that has caused you Livedo. She said this without even examining me. Why in the heck did I get naked for then??? I still don’t know what Livedo is. Neither of these doctors ever explained it. The Dermo is ready to walk out the door and I said so what’s next. The Doc said if you start getting ulcers you need to come back. Also my left bicep has been swollen since June of last year with the markings (I mentioned earlier)of Livedo the ones I was making with my hands. (Per my Doc ) and I asked her so why is my bicep swollen? Huh? I’m really not sure? and left . Closed the door. Bye Bye. I’m asking why did she treat me this way? Because she read my primary’s notes, which probably said it’s all in my mind.

So I really want to keep this appointment and really really want to make it count. My whole goal is to stay strong, on topic, and let her know that she can’t treat people like this. Of course I want to do it as nice as possible, I just don’t want my emotions to get away from me.

So I need to know what would some of you do? How would you do it? Should I ask her straight out what or why she treated or thinks of me? I feel hopeless. I would usually never go back and find someone else. Which in the end I will find a new doctor but I want her to hear what I have to say. I want this stupid stereotyping to stop following me. Hopefully I can go back to make her at least listen to me so next time she will think differently when a patient comes in like me.

#Fibromyalgia
#bladderpainsyndrome, #ChronicMigraineSyndrome, #Bipolar , #PTSD,#BLPD,,#ChronicPain,#CFS

Have you ever woke up and immediately had a vision of one of your worst memories? I was mentally and physically abused by my dad. Mother neglected the situation. This vision was about being sexually abused by my brother. (I hope this doesn’t bother anyone). I haven’t had a thought about “that” in a long time. It just didn’t happen once but over several years. He also brought a friend into the picture. Ok, going on. I don’t want anymore visions today. I had a good day yesterday. My pain level was at its lowest in weeks, which it extremely made my mood and energy to be at its highest to. I felt like I slept good. I did wake up a couple times with pain but went right back to sleep. So why does these vision pop up immediately after I woke up? Has anyone had this before? Has anyone talked to a professional about it. Why can’t we have peace more than just one day? Why does our minds always wants to bring the ugly back in?
#PTSD,#Bipolar ,#BLPD ,#aniexty,#Suicide

Just Because I was just diagnosed with Livedo and today I’m meeting with a Gastro and I will probably be adding another diagnosis to my list and more meds. I don’t mind??? I like my 18 flavor of Skittles. What is one more flavor right? But today I or at this moment I feel great. No pain yet, am thinking clearly , no migraines, I can sit up straight and I actually got out of bed. Maybe I actually can fix dinner today for my family or better yet take a shower. I love the moments in life were I am living the dream. It doesn’t happen often like seeing a rainbow in the sky. Just because you had that moment of wonder it sticks with you until the end of the day even if it ends badly. I hope all of u have a moment of living the dream some time today to. l

#Fibromyalgia
#Bipolar #BLPD ,#LivedoidVasculopathyLV##Migraines,Depression#ChronicPain