Why do people with choose poor partner?
Hey my fellow Bordis🌻
Disclaimer: English is not my native language.
I guess some of you already read this question or maybe questioned themselves. In my case this question followed me for a long time and now again out of a Situation that happened lately. There are many articles about how to have a relationship with a BPD Partner or that people with BPD are manipulative partners. I´ve seen one article that shows the otherside, where it explains why many people with BPD choose or feel attracted to destructive partners.
Maybe some of you wanna share some thoughts or experience on this question🙃
Disclaimer: My experience is not meant to generalize nor to devalue drug addicts as bad people. Its my subjective experience.
I´m in therapy and we already worked on my past abusive and codependent relationships. Yes, I have the tendencie too choose poor Partners, mostly which have a drug addiction or a relapsed addiction. No, I don´t have a drug addiction. Since then, I´m Single for a year now and I´m doing good. I finally managed to focus on myself and my healing journey and not on a relationship. But now a guy came up and showed interest. He has all the traits of a poor partner and he´s definetly not my type. After the conversation we had, I was splitting back and forth. Its like: `Dont do it, its gonna end bad like the other ones´ AND `he likes me and it feels good, I wanna feel good and loved´. I got so many positive emotions at once during the conversation as if I got high on them and I forgot all the hard work I had in therapy. On top I started to feel attracted to him which also scared me. This whole chaos on emotions and thoughts got me nearly to a relapse on self harming, so to get it all out of my head. Gladly I could avoid the relapse with my coping skills. This showed me that the danger still exists, that I choose a poor partner and fall back in a destructive relationship. It kind of scares me and annoys me at the same time.
What experiences did you have?