Cherophobia

Cherophobia, foreboding joy, the fear of being happy...Sometimes after prolonged trauma, it's hard to trust that something good might happen to us. And it's even harder to trust that we deserve it. I don't know about you, but I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop. I expect the worst and hope for the best. Even when something good happens, I wait for it to implode because history tells me that this is so.

When Trauma Makes You Afraid of Being Happy

Are you afraid of being happy? Do you ever assume nothing will work out so that you aren't disappointed? Share below.

#PTSD #CPTSD #Trauma #Fear #Cherophobia #forebodingjoy

I don’t know whether and how I will be judged for sharing this comment. Those who know me and per chance been following my earlier posts would know that i’m an elderly man who has been battling host of issues- grief, anxiety, depression, loneliness, suicidal ideation . This following a painful and indeed a shameful separation from my spouse whom i still dearly love. The barrage of setbacks, losses and shame that I have suffered repeatedly since childhood has me cowering most of the time afraid that bringing myself into any reckoning i end up being a loser and losing matters - professionally, personally, inter-personally i.e. relationships - miserably and horribly. It looks that being in state of despondency and despair is my default and it better be so. In fact i’m slowly finding comfort being in such a zone. For if i go seeking joy and fun, the voodoo of pain, shame, loss that has plagued me all my life will wreck me again and more severely, than what i have been subjected to so far. I discovered such a condition does exist, called cherophobia. Now i don’t know whether i should feel ashamed of saying so. Medicines is what has helped me this far and helps find my bearings in a way that still keeps me functional. While i too want to get out of my funk, move on and not stop myself seeking both challenges and pleasures, unfortunately nothing from my past inspires any confidence in having such an outlook. Indeed i feel recognizing the inherent misery of my life and its receiving constant badgering, is very rational thinking and helps in coping with my anxiety and the stress that i’m constantly grappling with. Yes it is embarrassing to see one wallowing in guilt, shame and self-pity but i don’t know how else to cope with my continuous misery and fear of future. 😔#Cherophobia #Grief #Anxiety #Stress #Fear #Shame