fear

*I am the authority on what's best for me; they are NOT

*I do not have to purchase anything if I don't want to or am pressured into or feel uncomfortable with

* I am allowed to take my time to make an informed decision; I do not have to rush/be rushed into an impulsive decision

* NO MEANS NO, not yes!

*Awareness of manipulation tactics: $$Upselling$$, telling me what I "need" /"you don't want that" (refer back to #1 : they don't know me & therefore don't know what's best for my needs!), dismissive/minimizing behavior, dominating/controlling behavior, putting me down in some way to make me feel like I NEED the product, (ex: "you have really damaged hair & need this product"), etc

*Being aware of their behavior & how they make me feel: Are they being pushy, passive-aggressive, demanding, belittling me, devaluing me, trying to control my decisions, ignoring things I say/talking over me, gaslighting me, invalidating me?, DO I FEEL LIKE I'M WALKING ON EGGSHELLS????, etc

*How am I behaving around them?: AM I FAWNING????? Am I trying to appease them in some way? Do I not want to "let them down?" Am I people-pleasing?

*Remembering that I AM THE CUSTOMER, not the other way around: they are there to help me, not dictate my decisions

*Just because they do a sales pitch on a product, does not mean I have to purchase it

* I am in control of my decisions & I decide what's best for me. I am in charge of my $ and the limits I set for myself

*Have a plan/research beforehand

*Awareness of my triggers related to salesmen & the environment I'm going into (social anxiety, agoraphobia, sense of urgency, $ spending, etc)

*Not being easily swayed by what they say/Holding onto myself & my reality

*Remembering that I am the one who has to live with my purchase/decision.....if not, I might have delayed anger/frustration about being manipulated/swayed into a purchase I didn't really want or felt pressured into

*Remembering that dealing with salesmen is sometimes like/can be similar to dealing with abusive, manipulative others & preparing for that......salesmen can be triggering for us

*Don't be too harsh on yourself if you do make a purchase you didn't want....because the first step to change is awareness of your deep, subconscious patterns & energy-dynamics with people

*Journal about your interactions with salesmen to learn about your subconscious patterns with them

*Learn about manipulative sales tactics so you can be prepared for battle lol

*Be gentle & compassionate with yourself & understand that pattern-breaking takes time.

*Do something calming beforehand. For me: I pray beforehand about decisions & dealing with salesmen, but I know not everyone does this.....maybe you could do some yoga, meditation, take a walk, etc beforehand to calm your mind & your anxieties

* Knowing you don't have to the apologize, justify, or overexplain your decisions to salesmen; You don't owe them anything

*Bring a pen and paper (or notes) to weigh your decisions if it helps! I am learning that I have to do this to best help myself

* Ask yourself: How can I make this process easier/less stressful for myself?

*Maybe plan a treat/something fun or indulgent for yourself afterwards?

* Know that it takes courage to deal with salesmen....you are strong & courageous!

*Knowing not all salemen are manipulative, but many are......and that it is inherently part of their job to be manipulative....to sell you things, to gain commission, to get you to spend a lot of $, etc.....they have/their employer has their own motives and their behavior is not really personal....they have a goal to attain.....but be aware of predatory behavior!

#salesmen #sales #Hair #hairsylists #hairappointments #budtenders #dispensary #cardealers #PTSD #CPTSD #agency #dealingwithmanipulators #SocialAnxiety #Agoraphobia #Anxiety #Overwhelm #decisionmaking #trigger #moneyspending #Fear #worry

Just checking in. I am a bit nervous and excited to start school tomorrow. I am an early morning person, but this class meets at night, and it’s a math class. 🫣!!! I appreciate your 🙏’s as I face this season.

#Anxiety #nervous
#Excitement #Fear

Hey everyone. I’m gonna have a big change on my life soon and I’ve been feeling anxious and scared about all of this. I don’t like changes and I’m scared. What do you guys do to cope with it?

#Anxiety #Fear

To everyone struggling, remember that the bad moments are only temporary. Things may seem awful at this point, but it is going to pass. Stop overthinking about things that haven’t occurred yet and that may never occur. Anxiety makes us think about the worst case scenarios, our biggest fears and insecurities. You are ok, you are healthy, you’re gonna be fine. Don’t let these ruminating and awful thoughts take over you. You’ll be fine. #Anxiety #Fear #MentalHealth

By no means am I blaming football for my mental health problems. I have fond memories of playing sport and being part of a team/organisation. I was gifted with the ball and excelled on the pitch.

It was my father who ruined my experience. It was not enough for my father to simply appreciate that his son was capable of running, jumping and kicking a ball. He brought along a competitive spirit that was not only embarrassing but toxic.

I was skillful but I was not a naturally gifted athlete with any attributes that made me excel far beyond my years. I was playing in the year above and starting in the team but again this was not enough for my father who expected me to excel in the squad. I lacked in stature and athletic ability (speed mostly) and this would eventually lead to difficulties towards the end of my playing days.

If I ever get around to having kids, I will think long and hard before enrolling them in to a competitive sport / environment. The problem with competitive sport is it breeds a mindset based on results. The schooling system is also guilty of this. I would like this post to focus on the issue of sports although I also experienced major issues at school.

There is an argument for competitive sport but my overall consensus is it did me more harm than good. The need to be the best always critiquing how I played, never being satisfied and the game forever playing on my mind. For something that gave me very little it is very taxing on the psyche.

My team disbanded and I was forced to join a new team in a more difficult league for which I was not prepared. The game was no longer fun and became serious business with everyone trying to make it to the senior squad where money was involved.

It was a combination of life getting in the way of my dream of becoming a footballer and my own poor life choices. It takes a very strong willed individual to ignore the lights, girls & music and focus solely on the game. You need to be wiling to sacrifice for the sport. When I gave up on football, I started to experience identity issues as I felt the game made me who I was.

My dad only wanted the best for me, so when I started to act out and started to steal it was a shock to him and he didn't know how to handle my behaviour.

It wasn't until I stopped playing football and realised that the game had left me feeling empty and took a lot away from me. It also left me with a competitive streak that I sought to satisfy elsewhere. I felt deep sadness that my own stupid decisions had ruined my dream of becoming a footballer.

In my later years I have trouble agreeing to be part of a team, group or association. Football is not the sole reason for this but adds to my mental problems associated with gang mentality. It also brings out an us against them mentality which I don't want anything to do with. Keeping to myself has brought on its own challenges and I fight with negative emotions most of the time as I come to terms with who I am.

#self #Myself #Individual #Fear #solely #Responsible #scared #groups #people #Smoking #Drugs #Addiction #Drinking #gangs #ME #Sport #cutthroat #toxicmasculinity #goingout #lights #Music #Addiction #Depression #isolated #nobody #bymyself #Girls #Identity #competition #NotGoodEnough #best #First #winning #Success #failure #defeat #bottom #Fights #Life #Death #alone