Join the Conversation on
5.4K people
0 stories
678 posts
  • Explore Our Newsletters
  • What's New in fear

    Boundaried Prep-List to Deal with Salesmen

    *I am the authority on what's best for me; they are NOT

    *I do not have to purchase anything if I don't want to or am pressured into or feel uncomfortable with

    * I am allowed to take my time to make an informed decision; I do not have to rush/be rushed into an impulsive decision

    * NO MEANS NO, not yes!

    *Awareness of manipulation tactics: $$Upselling$$, telling me what I "need" /"you don't want that" (refer back to #1 : they don't know me & therefore don't know what's best for my needs!), dismissive/minimizing behavior, dominating/controlling behavior, putting me down in some way to make me feel like I NEED the product, (ex: "you have really damaged hair & need this product"), etc

    *Being aware of their behavior & how they make me feel: Are they being pushy, passive-aggressive, demanding, belittling me, devaluing me, trying to control my decisions, ignoring things I say/talking over me, gaslighting me, invalidating me?, DO I FEEL LIKE I'M WALKING ON EGGSHELLS????, etc

    *How am I behaving around them?: AM I FAWNING????? Am I trying to appease them in some way? Do I not want to "let them down?" Am I people-pleasing?

    *Remembering that I AM THE CUSTOMER, not the other way around: they are there to help me, not dictate my decisions

    *Just because they do a sales pitch on a product, does not mean I have to purchase it

    * I am in control of my decisions & I decide what's best for me. I am in charge of my $ and the limits I set for myself

    *Have a plan/research beforehand

    *Awareness of my triggers related to salesmen & the environment I'm going into (social anxiety, agoraphobia, sense of urgency, $ spending, etc)

    *Not being easily swayed by what they say/Holding onto myself & my reality

    *Remembering that I am the one who has to live with my purchase/decision.....if not, I might have delayed anger/frustration about being manipulated/swayed into a purchase I didn't really want or felt pressured into

    *Remembering that dealing with salesmen is sometimes like/can be similar to dealing with abusive, manipulative others & preparing for that......salesmen can be triggering for us

    *Don't be too harsh on yourself if you do make a purchase you didn't want....because the first step to change is awareness of your deep, subconscious patterns & energy-dynamics with people

    *Journal about your interactions with salesmen to learn about your subconscious patterns with them

    *Learn about manipulative sales tactics so you can be prepared for battle lol

    *Be gentle & compassionate with yourself & understand that pattern-breaking takes time.

    *Do something calming beforehand. For me: I pray beforehand about decisions & dealing with salesmen, but I know not everyone does this.....maybe you could do some yoga, meditation, take a walk, etc beforehand to calm your mind & your anxieties

    * Knowing you don't have to the apologize, justify, or overexplain your decisions to salesmen; You don't owe them anything

    *Bring a pen and paper (or notes) to weigh your decisions if it helps! I am learning that I have to do this to best help myself

    * Ask yourself: How can I make this process easier/less stressful for myself?

    *Maybe plan a treat/something fun or indulgent for yourself afterwards?

    * Know that it takes courage to deal with salesmen....you are strong & courageous!

    *Knowing not all salemen are manipulative, but many are......and that it is inherently part of their job to be manipulative....to sell you things, to gain commission, to get you to spend a lot of $, etc.....they have/their employer has their own motives and their behavior is not really personal....they have a goal to attain.....but be aware of predatory behavior!

    #salesmen #sales #Hair #hairsylists #hairappointments #budtenders #dispensary #cardealers #PTSD #CPTSD #agency #dealingwithmanipulators #SocialAnxiety #Agoraphobia #Anxiety #Overwhelm #decisionmaking #trigger #moneyspending #Fear #worry

    8 reactions 3 comments
    See full photo

    Living with constant fear.

    I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder (gad), a condition characterized by constant and intense worry about everyday situations, even those that don't pose a real threat. Since then, I've experienced many different symptoms related to anxiety, but the one that's affected me the most is constant fear.

    No matter where I am or what I'm doing, there's always a voice in my head telling me that something bad is about to happen, the fear is often accompanied by a range of unpleasant and sometimes debilitating physical symptoms such as headaches, fatigue, difficulty sleeping, muscle tension, and gastrointestinal problems, and a lot more. Often, I can't pinpoint exactly what's worrying me, which makes the fear even more paralyzing. I feel stuck in an endless cycle of worry and fear, and sometimes it's hard to focus on anything else.

    Constant fear has impacted many aspects of my life. It's prevented me from enjoying moments that should be fun, like to go out to eat in a restaurant or taking a vacation. It's also caused me to miss out on opportunities for personal and professional growth because I've clung to what's safe instead of taking risks. Even simple tasks, like grocery shopping or going to the doctor, can trigger an overwhelming sense of fear.

    Talking to my wife and family about my experience has helped me feel less isolated and more supported. I've also sought professional help, which has been a big step toward recovery. Through therapy and medication, I've learned tools for coping with fear and anxiety, and although I still have a long way to go, I'm grateful for the progress I've made.

    If you're dealing with constant fear or anxiety, remember that you're not alone. There are many people who understand what you're going through and are willing to support you. Seek help if you need it, and don't be afraid to talk about your feelings. Together, we can overcome fear and live full, happy lives.

    As for me, I remind myself to take things one day at a time. Recovery is a journey, and it's important to focus on small steps forward rather than getting overwhelmed by the big picture. So if you're feeling scared or anxious, take a deep breath and remember that you can get through this. Just take it one day at a time.

    #Anxiety #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #GAD #MentalHealth #Fear #Depression

    29 reactions 12 comments
    See full photo

    #conquer Your Mind’s #TBI induced #Anxiety #CPTSD #PTSD and #Depression

    Wow! Sorry, this is longer than expected.

    Hey, #mighty folks! I just faced a major unexpected issue! Last month I registered for a required intensive math course. However, I learned my financial aid (FA) was drastically reduced AFTER the class started. So, I dropped the course because I do not have extra cash to pay for a “rigorous” required math course. I am on a medical leave from work while recovering from a brain injury, and paying for a math course…ah…👎…need I say more???

    Anyway, today I learned I missed the reimbursement deadline and I now OWE the university $500.00!!! What??? I nearly freaked out when I happened upon that balance. Note, I never received one notification telling me of this outstanding balance. Crazy.

    So, after seeing this unexpected bill, I called the school’s FA department. I was instructed to contact another office. Then I had to submit an appeal application. Thankfully, I was able to include my physician’s documents confirming my diagnosis and medical leave. And once all of that was completed, I stood and looked around my small room, amazed. Why amazed???

    Because I realized I had just faced a serious issue but….😮….I did not:
    - collapse into a pool of tears,
    - plummet into a deep depression,
    - jump on an exercise bike due to my
    typical EXTREME anxiety levels,
    - I did not ridicule or insult myself
    with typical negative comments
    about not being successful
    - I did not drift off into a deep sleep
    because the issue is just too hard
    to face.

    No! I did none of the above!!! This time, I faced the incident, addressed it, completed the necessary steps, and am content with waiting to see the outcome. Yay!!!😃!!! The only symptom I did experience was an upset stomach; prior to this spontaneous event, my stomach was fine. However, that upset stomach was the only lasting TBI fueled anxiety symptom I encountered today during that unexpected problem. Six weeks ago, I know I would NOT have been able to face this setback without being gravely impacted by severe anxiety, guilt, shame, depression, and defeat-filled thoughts taking control over my mind.

    Today’s event caused only ONE swift reaction: I hoped on #TheMighty app to share this experience!!!😄❤️😁!!!

    Your shared stories have helped me learn how to face life without viewing EVERYTHING through the lens of #Anxiety , #CPTSD , #Fear , #Guilt , and #TBISurvivor ’s #PTSD ! Wow!!! Thank you for this platform!❤️

    And honestly, after typing my original message, I switched screens (on my phone) to find a photo to add to the post, but my entire message was lost. I guess you cannot switch between apps or save a post (or make edits) on this platform. Believe me, the original message was shorter as it captured my concise sheer initial delight!❤️

    16 reactions 3 comments

    #Support from you, #TheMighty !

    Just checking in. I am a bit nervous and excited to start school tomorrow. I am an early morning person, but this class meets at night, and it’s a math class. 🫣!!! I appreciate your 🙏’s as I face this season.

    #Anxiety #nervous
    #Excitement #Fear

    41 reactions 17 comments
    See full photo

    Days Before School Time: 🫣 or 😁??? #Fear #Anxiety or #Excitement #Confidence

    I am a few days away from starting a required mathematical logics course. When I think of the subject matter, 😯, my heart flutters. But as I focus on today while resting and watching old Poirot mysteries, I simply smile at the fact that another level of my schooling begins soon.

    Next week at this time, I WILL have homework or some class related thoughts filling my mind. However, today, days before this start date, I CAN rest, watch, and enjoy this day without any distractions thwarting my thoughts. So, I guess today’s emoji of choice will be the latter: 😁! I’m not living tomorrow or the day after, right now. Instead, I am living today, and can only live one minute at a time during this free day.

    #TheMighty #Selfcare #Selfcompassion

    12 reactions 4 comments
    See full photo

    When Someone Else Informs You…of You.🤩 #Selfcare #Selfesteem #insecurity #conquerthemind

    I recently asked a former co-worker, and an experienced professional, to proof my resume. I am illiterate when using a professional vocabulary outlining my skills and abilities.

    When I opened the attached file and read the edited document, I literally shed tears. This person knew me. They saw me at work and witnessed my work ethic during good days and bad days. Therefore, when I read their word description of the talents I will bring to a company, their words literally made me rethink who I am…according to me.🫣

    Self talk can be rewarding or it can be absolutely debilitating! CPTSD self talk can be deadly, and in more ways than a physical death.

    My self-talk mimics words of destruction. This is because, during my formative years, my destruction was desired by an outside authority source. Thus, even now as an adult, love interpreted by my fractured mind is as valuable as seeking to purchase a home with the ten rolls of (fifty) pennies you have saved in your savings account. 😞! Meaning, it just does not add up to much. Basically, you may have money, but it is not a valuable sum, sadly.

    So, this entry serves as a reminder to myself, when healthy people know you and they define you as they see you, especially through a positive healthy lens, as the credit card ad says, the experience is, “PRICELESS”!!!❤️

    #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #Fear #insecurity

    #Healthy #Friends #Community #Connectivity #security

    22 reactions 11 comments

    Anxiety Moving away

    Hey everyone. I’m gonna have a big change on my life soon and I’ve been feeling anxious and scared about all of this. I don’t like changes and I’m scared. What do you guys do to cope with it?

    #Anxiety #Fear

    15 reactions 11 comments

    You’ll be fine

    To everyone struggling, remember that the bad moments are only temporary. Things may seem awful at this point, but it is going to pass. Stop overthinking about things that haven’t occurred yet and that may never occur. Anxiety makes us think about the worst case scenarios, our biggest fears and insecurities. You are ok, you are healthy, you’re gonna be fine. Don’t let these ruminating and awful thoughts take over you. You’ll be fine. #Anxiety #Fear #MentalHealth

    8 reactions 4 comments

    Competitive Sport

    By no means am I blaming football for my mental health problems. I have fond memories of playing sport and being part of a team/organisation. I was gifted with the ball and excelled on the pitch.

    It was my father who ruined my experience. It was not enough for my father to simply appreciate that his son was capable of running, jumping and kicking a ball. He brought along a competitive spirit that was not only embarrassing but toxic.

    I was skillful but I was not a naturally gifted athlete with any attributes that made me excel far beyond my years. I was playing in the year above and starting in the team but again this was not enough for my father who expected me to excel in the squad. I lacked in stature and athletic ability (speed mostly) and this would eventually lead to difficulties towards the end of my playing days.

    If I ever get around to having kids, I will think long and hard before enrolling them in to a competitive sport / environment. The problem with competitive sport is it breeds a mindset based on results. The schooling system is also guilty of this. I would like this post to focus on the issue of sports although I also experienced major issues at school.

    There is an argument for competitive sport but my overall consensus is it did me more harm than good. The need to be the best always critiquing how I played, never being satisfied and the game forever playing on my mind. For something that gave me very little it is very taxing on the psyche.

    My team disbanded and I was forced to join a new team in a more difficult league for which I was not prepared. The game was no longer fun and became serious business with everyone trying to make it to the senior squad where money was involved.

    It was a combination of life getting in the way of my dream of becoming a footballer and my own poor life choices. It takes a very strong willed individual to ignore the lights, girls & music and focus solely on the game. You need to be wiling to sacrifice for the sport. When I gave up on football, I started to experience identity issues as I felt the game made me who I was.

    My dad only wanted the best for me, so when I started to act out and started to steal it was a shock to him and he didn't know how to handle my behaviour.

    It wasn't until I stopped playing football and realised that the game had left me feeling empty and took a lot away from me. It also left me with a competitive streak that I sought to satisfy elsewhere. I felt deep sadness that my own stupid decisions had ruined my dream of becoming a footballer.

    In my later years I have trouble agreeing to be part of a team, group or association. Football is not the sole reason for this but adds to my mental problems associated with gang mentality. It also brings out an us against them mentality which I don't want anything to do with. Keeping to myself has brought on its own challenges and I fight with negative emotions most of the time as I come to terms with who I am.

    #self #Myself #Individual #Fear #solely #Responsible #scared #groups #people #Smoking #Drugs #Addiction #Drinking #gangs #ME #Sport #cutthroat #toxicmasculinity #goingout #lights #Music #Addiction #Depression #isolated #nobody #bymyself #Girls #Identity #competition #NotGoodEnough #best #First #winning #Success #failure #defeat #bottom #Fights #Life #Death #alone

    5 reactions 1 comment