fear

Join the Conversation on
fear
5.5K people
0 stories
639 posts
Explore Our Newsletters
What's New in fear
All
Stories
Posts
Videos
Latest
Trending
Post
See full photo

Doing your best is perfectly ok. #Depression #Anxiety #Fear #Hope #Relationships #FamilyAndFriends #courage #MentalHealth

I have just got back from a weeks holiday in tropical North Queensland in Australia. Recently the area was impacted by floods and a severe cyclone.

Wild weather there is common but this storm event was particularly nasty. They are a pragmatic and resilient bunch of people. I saw this sign outside a restaurant.

Sometimes our best is not enough, and that’s ok.

I love this verse.

“Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.“
‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭41‬:‭10‬ ‭NLT‬‬
bible.com/bible/116/isa.41.10.NLT

Isaiah 41:10 Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand. | New Living Translation (NLT) | Download The Bible App Now

Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.
26 reactions 7 comments
Post
See full photo

Thoughts on Thirty

So you could say I’ve been freaking out a bit about turning *whispers* thirty *whispers*. For those who’ve seen Friends, I’ve been doing a Rachel. For those who haven’t, where have you been?

I’m not ashamed about that. It feels as though I’m leaving my youth behind, although I have always been a child trapped in an older persons body so I don’t think one birthday is going to change that anytime soon.

Plus, thirty is a milestone in itself. When I was a little girl I imagined I’d have my dream career by 21, a husband and all that stuff just ~sorted~. You know, it would come naturally to me. Like most things did back then. But as I grew older and the anxiety and trauma set in I found it harder and harder to imagine that life for myself and I never, ever pictured me at thirty. I just never thought I’d make it here. I’ve had a lot of hardship in my life and for a while I thought it would stop me from continuing with life itself. But I’m here, and I’m grateful.

Putting me aside for a second, there is a wider societal pressure around turning thirty. If you don’t have kids, married and in a seemingly total secure place in your dream career then you apparently aren’t succeeding at life. Well that’s not the case. Everyone grows at their own rate. Life happens at different speeds to different people. We shouldn’t compare one another in these arbitrary ways.

For me personally, my twenties have been a mixed bag. Unconventional, some may say. I’ve spent more time in relationships than I’ve been single. I don’t regret that but I’m glad I’m taking the time to just be me now. Even though those relationships never turned into anything it doesn’t mean I didn’t value them or that I haven’t learned anything from them because I do and I did. Each one has made me into a better person and I thank them for that. Most of them anyway.

Just like men, I’ve had good friends and I’ve had bad friends. Heck I’ve been a good friend and a bad friend but I’ve always tried to be as authentic as possible with people. I’ve wasted some time with some friends but I can’t say I haven’t had fun along the way. Just because something doesn’t last doesn’t mean it was pointless. I’ll be honest, there have been times when I don’t know why friendships have ended. At times it has felt like I’ve been cut out of peoples lives and then they’ve wanted me back when it suits them. I know sometimes people just simply outgrow each other but sometimes there is more to it than meets the eye. Even if they don’t want to admit it. Still, it doesn’t mean either one is less worthy - just less honest and willing to communicate.

There are many things I’m proud of hitting thirty. I’ve been in and out of hospital more times than I can count but I have managed to stay out since 2021 and remain stable. I have managed to secure my own home, renovate and decorate it with the help of family. Now my house is my haven and I hate leaving it because it is so gorgeous and cosy and beautiful. Saying that, maintaining it is a job in itself that should be applauded. I am continuing focusing on my writing and putting something in the bank each day.

Not only do I have severe mental health problems, but I live with chronic physical illness too. I am learning more and more about my illnesses each day which can help manage them a bit better but they flare up under stress and I am sensitive to stress. It is all a big balancing act but I am in more control of it than ever. I have a good routine and if anything gets me out of that routine I am done for. I know I will have to live with this forever but knowing that I can somewhat manage it to the best of my ability is somewhat comforting.

Heck surviving your twenties is simply a feat in itself without all this illness and trauma so I am extremely proud of myself for being where I am today. But it is a double edged sword. I am not married and without kids, there is a stigma towards people like me. I don’t have a traditional job. Where am I going in life some may ask. Well the truth is if you asked me a couple of years ago where I’d be in a few years times I’d have said I thought I’d still be living at home, at one point I thought I’d be on the streets or homeless in some way like I have been in the past and many times I thought I’d be dead because I couldn’t take the idea of being homeless again.

What I am looking forward to about my thirties is feeling confident in my own skin. As I progressed through my twenties I got this feeling more and more as in my teens and early twenties I used to feel so hung up on my body it got me feeling so depressed I had to go to the doctors. Now I really do love the skin I’m in. I see my body as a vessel. My body is strong and it has carried me through so much hardship and it will continue carrying me through until the day I die. I am so thankful to my body. I just wanna give her a big hug.

It just shows, where I am now is miles away from where I thought I would be. I have come so far in such a short space of time. I think turning thirty has made me reflect on my life and made me think about what I want from it, and the main thing is stability. My life isn’t the same as most other thirty year olds, and that’s okay. I have to do what works for me, and if people don’t understand then they weren’t worth having around in the first place. #Anxiety #Fear #Psychosis #Bipolar #MentalHealth #Stigma #bodyconfidence

(edited)
4 reactions 1 comment
Post

Anyone have issues with RAGE?

When I first experienced this, it came out of no where a year after I was assaulted. It was like a volcano erupted. I was really scared of it, didn’t know what to do, and felt like I needed to get help fast. I was still running from and experiencing vivid flashbacks, dissociation, etc. I went to see a new counselor about help with the rage, but I was so LOST at the time and counselors want you to start by filling out paperwork and talking about why you came. I was triggered by all of it. I couldn’t find any answers on WHY I felt rage, & why a year later? I had no idea how to cope with it as I was always a laid back/chill person. I felt like it was me against the world. Everyone was a threat to me. People who were rude at the grocery store, anyone running their mouth at me, and whoever DARED threaten me, their lives were about to be in grave danger if they didn’t RUN. I can be triggered so severely by a direct verbal threat, that I immediately prepare to eliminate that threat and that’s ALL I see/know. I have suffered at the hands of many who had all the control where I had none.

I was able to get some answers about where the rage even came from bc I didn’t understand it. Janina Fisher’s book on Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors, and her newest workbook Transforming the Living Legacy of Trauma …. Janina is an EXPERT on trauma, you know it just listening to how she explains origins of symptoms that transform into lifelong suffering. There were a lot of things I never understood about myself, so reading her books and watching her YouTube videos really helped me when I had NO ONE to talk to who understood.

Rage is …. An understandable and NORMAL reaction to a traumatic situation you faced where someone hurt you, targeted you …. on purpose. That person made you feel fear, uncertainty about your future, threatened you in some way….. and if you have experienced this repeatedly in childhood and in several instances in adulthood like I have, rage may be something you struggle with to control. Sometimes you can’t and the other person who threatened you really doesn’t realize just how close they came to being in a life-threatening situation. A few times I was SECONDS away from going after someone who provoked, threatened, or wanted to see how much they could “push” before I lost my damn mind. I know what it’s like, and long after the emotions/adrenaline/and shakiness calm down and you FINALLY are able to THINK straight again …. You realize that you were about to really hurt someone and what the costs of that might have been. How close you came. It’s like you were a different person, and now you’re thinking this is some 911 shit. Like, I need help NOW or I’m really going to take someone out. This is not like me, I don’t like it, it scares me (when I can think straight), & I have this URGENT need to get RID of it NOW. I wish it was that easy.

I wonder - how many people have felt this same way? I don’t trust ANYone, don’t talk to people, don’t have a counselor, dont like groups ….. so I really don’t know if anyone has felt the same. #Rage #Fear #Trust #Anxiety #Grief #tsunami depression

(edited)
2 reactions
Post

Vent on fears, depression, shame #Fear #Depression #Shame #Cancer #HealthCare #money #Aging

Trying to sleep Friday night on the couch so I can cry. worried my body is failing and so is my cancer treatment. Muscles and joints are stiff. Feel like ive aged10 years in last 6 months. Tired, mentally and physically. If I keep going until AprilI am told I can retire with full medicl benefits. Supposedly. I do not trust HR or my retirement management group. I fear my job, medical plan,and health, all ending within the first 6 months of 2024

I am going to try and sleep.
Reading Howl's Moving Castle.
Identifying with the heroine Sophie, who was enchanted https://to.turn into an old woman.

Gnight

8 reactions 2 comments
Post
See full photo

Fear is an Enemy

Fear can be a formidable adversary, often more potent than the actual challenges or obstacles we face. It possesses the ability to influence our thoughts, actions, and decisions, often with a more significant impact than the wounds inflicted by the very things we fear. In my book Traumatization and Its Aftermath, I explain with detail how to neutralize the damage that fear can inflict. #PTSD #Fear

(edited)
3 reactions
Post

Hallucinations

I'm getting scared. When I look at someone (even on tv) for more than a few seconds, their faces start to become distorted, almost demon-like. What is going on with me???!!! I am SO scared.

Seeing my psychiatrist on the 2nd of January, as he's on holiday now. Emailed him and got an automatic out-of-office reply.

Anyone ever experience this?

Help!!! #hallucination #Fear

5 reactions 4 comments
Post

Hallucinations

I'm getting scared. When I look at someone (even on tv) for more than a few seconds, their faces start to become distorted, almost demon-like. What is going on with me???!!! I am SO scared.

Seeing my psychiatrist on the 2nd of January, as he's on holiday now. Emailed him and got an automatic out-of-office reply.

Anyone ever experience this?

Help!!! #hallucination #Fear

1 reaction
Post

Fear!

I’m a nurse for the last 33yrs. I’ve started having tremors very bad from my lithium. I’m taking a medication to help stop them or calm them down. I’m also beginning to have problems with my balance and stumbling and sometimes actually falling. I’m beginning to think that I need to get out of nursing before I hurt myself or someone else. I’m terrified I haven’t done anything else in 33 years. I’m being seen by my doctor and followed up. What do you do? I’m single, 60 and scared and I have several medical issues . #Fear

Post

A key question…

What did people here who felt deeply suicidal, do to overcome doing the baleful deed? pls suggest #SuicidalIdeation #Anxiety #Fear #melancholia #Shame

35 reactions 31 comments