They were scared. They were nervous. They were frustrated. They were confused. They were tired...as are we. Let’s just take a second to recognize how human these feelings are and always have been since the beginning of existence. #lifetrauma #Fear #PTSD #CPTSD
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Fear doesn’t show up politely.
It doesn’t knock, wait, and ask if this is a good time. It floods, it tightens, it whispers lies that feel like truth. And for a long time, the instinct has been simple: get rid of it. Avoid it. Numb it. Run from it.
But here’s the shift—one that changes everything:
Fear isn’t always the thing holding you back. Sometimes, it’s the thing pointing you forward.
Fear Kept You Alive — But It Was Never Meant to Keep You Small
Fear is not a character flaw. It’s biology.
Deep in the brain, the amygdala is wired to detect danger and activate survival responses (LeDoux, 2012). That response—the racing heart, the tension, the urge to escape—has one job: protect you.
And for many, especially those who have lived through trauma, addiction, or unstable environments, fear has been working overtime for years.
It learned quickly:
*What was unsafe
*What hurt
*What needed to be avoided
That fear? It served a purpose.
But what protected you then may be restricting you now.
When Fear Gets Misunderstood
Not all fear means danger.
Some fear is rooted in past experiences—what research on adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) shows is that early trauma can sensitize the nervous system to perceive threat where there isn’t one anymore (Felitti et al., 1998).
So now fear shows up when:
*You try to trust someone
*You speak your truth
*You step outside your comfort zone
*You choose recovery over old patterns
And it feels the same as danger.
But it’s not.
It’s unfamiliarity.
And unfamiliarity can feel just as intense as threat when your system has been conditioned to expect harm.
Fear and the Cycle of Avoidance
Let’s be direct—avoidance feels good in the moment.
It lowers anxiety. It gives relief. It creates the illusion of control.
That’s why it’s so addictive.
In fact, the self-medication hypothesis explains how substances and behaviors are often used to regulate overwhelming emotions like fear (Khantzian, 1997).
But here’s the cost:
*The fear doesn’t go away
*It gets stronger
*Your world gets smaller
Avoidance teaches your brain: “This fear is dangerous. Escape is necessary.”
And the cycle tightens.
The Truth Most People Don’t Want to Hear
Fear doesn’t shrink when you run from it.
It shrinks when you face it.
Not all at once. Not recklessly. But intentionally.
Exposure-based approaches in mental health show that gradually facing what you fear actually retrains the brain to reduce that fear response over time (Craske et al., 2014).
This is how healing works:
*You stay
*You feel
*You don’t escape
*And your brain learns: “I survived this.”
That’s how power is rebuilt.
Fear Is Often the Edge of Growth
There’s a type of fear that doesn’t come from danger—it comes from change.
You’ll recognize it when:
*You’re about to set a boundary you’ve never set before
*You’re walking away from something familiar but harmful
*You’re choosing yourself for the first time
*You’re stepping into a version of you that feels unfamiliar
That fear will say:
*“You’re going to fail”
*“You’re not ready”
*“Go back to what you know”
But what it’s really saying is:
“You’re crossing into something new.”
And new feels unsafe… until it doesn’t.
Building Capacity Instead of Running
Healing isn’t about eliminating fear—it’s about expanding your ability to handle it.
This is what’s called widening your window of tolerance (Siegel, 1999).
Every time you:
*Sit with discomfort
*Regulate instead of react
*Stay instead of escape
*You are literally rewiring your nervous system.
You’re teaching your body: “I can handle this.”
And over time, what once overwhelmed you… doesn’t.
A Different Way to Respond to Fear
Instead of asking:
“How do I get rid of this?”
Start asking:
“What is this trying to show me?”
“Is this danger—or is this growth?”
“What happens if I don’t run this time?”
Then take one step.
Not ten. Not perfect. Just one.
The Reality No One Talks About
Fear will show up in recovery.
It will show up in healing.
It will show up when you start becoming someone you’ve never been before.
That doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.
It usually means you’re doing it right.
Closing: Rise Above Your Norm
You don’t rise above your norm by staying comfortable.
You rise by challenging the very patterns that once felt like survival.
Fear was part of your survival story.
But it doesn’t have to be the author of your future.
You can feel it—and still move forward.
You can hear it—and not obey it.
You can carry it—and not let it control you.
That’s the shift.
That’s the work.
That’s how you rise.
BigmommaJ
#Fear #MentalHealth #RiseAboveYourNorm
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I am in an Uber heading to the airport. This morning I am flying to The Philippines. Normally I am very excited to go overseas. Today I am not. Yesterday I realised that I am quite anxious about this trip.
I tried to figure out why. It’s not the mess that the Middle East does is. That is a long way from The Philippines. It’s not where we are going. Manila is wonderful. We are also going to Davao which is somewhere the Australian government says we should only go if it’s absolutely necessary because of terrorist activity. The two terrorists who recently killed 15 people in Sydney trained in Davao.
I think it’s the fact that my body is still recovering. I need a crutch. I am still taking strong opioids for pain. And I think it’s lack of control. We are corralled onto a plane. We have to navigate immigration and customs.
This morning I realised what the true issue was. I have been thinking I am doing the trip on my own. My Wife is with me. I will be visiting prisons and other places. However, God is with me. We are not alone. He is already there and is with us now while we head to the airport.
We are never alone.
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
Isaiah 41:10 NIV
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Tuesday looms ahead. I am filled with dread. Can't help but think if only I were dead. Than this weight wouldn't have come to crush me. Weighted down I still manage to put one foot in front of the other and move . Circling the whirlpool trying not to get sucked down. Exhausted, scared, angry, sad, disappointed, and hopeful. Standing on the ledge looking down into the abyss as I try and forget your kiss that lead to all of this. I wish she could see her own mental health in the mirror and recognize her disease and realize it wasn't me that was the enemy.
#ShehasundiagBPD
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Anytime a word they put down triggers fear or upsetting memories. So i try my best to explain why but go emotional and sometimes overboard.. Others state i keep repeating it. Or they tell me get therapy; I would but cant afford it with a lot going on in personal life...
As growing up as a kid I was told to keep my thoughts to myself and if I was bullied or teased to avoid it.. I did tell the teachers or speech therapist but i was told it was wrong of me to tatall tail? I grown to fear adults amd making friends plus open up to my family. To a point i feared interaction with my family. I put on a mask act silly or polite or try to mimic helpful behaviors or likes from family or rare friends. I would later on draw a lot of hidden fears and emotions where family saw it as a future gift.( I may skip a bit)
When I was a teen I kept drawing and tried to use my art to gain friends but some just used me for homework art projects. There teasing or bullying kept at it when growing up. More rare friends i made would give out phone numbers or birthday parties invites (which i struggled to call or remember) some friends witnessed me having narcolepsy \ anxiety in class do to stress from home or school [i struggled with school work and my late mom dislike me being lazy a lot] some of my teachers allowed me ti cheat test of some answers and gave me a jr-job as Janitor( it help keep stress down) by college i still struggled in mathematics and english to history. But loved art.
After that i found out after my mom death from cancer she cheated on my dad with his friend.. Again I wasn't allowed to over exaduwight on things - but kept it bottled up.
After i got married i shared with my husband and he shared his struggles in life with I. But overtime we're still trying to mend. But i still get triggers with my past.. and I try hard to not say anything. Yet it like a childverson of me yelling Im here I saw I heard and Please hear me? #Anxiety #PanicAttacks #TBI #Fear #Narcolepsy
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If you feel like there’s something out there that you’re supposed to be doing, if you have a passion for it, then stop wishing and just do it! #justdoit #MentalHealth #findyou #Anxiety #Anxietydoestwin #Fear #whatifican
1 reaction My mind is racing as I type this. I am criticizing every single word. I am so afraid that speaking about my challenges is going to make things worse. I know it doesn't make sense but I have had to wear a mask hiding my conditions for so long that I feel completely insecure without it. I feel like a caged animal who once set free still wears the chains of control. Depression has taken so much from me that I don't even remember who I used to be. I do remember being such a fearless and determined child. But when depression came along it robbed me of my essence. The characteristics of myself that I was most proud of. I fear that depression will affect my son. I want so badly to believe that if I get better (and can sustain being better) that I can help him if it happens. Yes, I believe that depression is something that happens to you. As bazaar as it sounds, it has become its own entity. As much as the knowledge of being diagnosed helped make sense of things, it doesn't help if managing is a struggle too. Imagine having to fight with yourself to simply be okay with YOURSELF.
So I am afraid. I am afraid of the side effects of increasing my dosages. I am afraid that I won't manage the symptoms enough and I lose my job. I am afraid that my son will have this. And I am afraid that even this post won't be enough. My imposter syndrome is showing and I cant afford to be exposed. I just want to be free of these fears.#Depression #Fear #Adultadd #Anxiety #ImposterSyndrome
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#Anxiety #anger #Fear #Depression
If it takes me cussing people out, then I will. I am really sorry I have become this person, but I just don’t like the feeling of being ignored, hurt, lied to, people stopped talking to me, people saying things that they don’t mean, like saying they will be there, they won’t leave but they eventually do. I have never done anything wrong but it just seems like to me people talk to who they want, care about who they want, spend time or hang out with who they want, but when it comes time for them to make new friends or talk to other people, I have noticed people stop talking to me. It makes me feel like I am invisible and don’t matter. That is why I don’t get close to people, I don’t even leave the house anymore because of it, I don’t put myself out there because I don’t see the point anymore. I feel like I will never change because I am always going to find it hard to start the conversation first because I don’t do well with socializing, because I don’t know what to say, I have always been way too shy to message first and also the reason I don’t reach out is because I have a fear of rejection or being ignored but I also don’t because I know life can get busy with job, kids, or just anything. I know that I have my boyfriend, with him I don’t have to worry about anything or anybody hurting me because I know that he will always be there, he will talk to me, he will not ignore me, or just anything. Despite everything, he has autism, I know it can be a struggle sometimes because he doesn’t always get it or understand when I need time to myself, space, or to do anything, communication is always a problem but it’s not that he is ignoring me or if I don’t message him back right away, he will send multiple messages until I reply, which I know is linked to his autism, I know that it’s something he can’t control or help but it isn’t something that I will leave him over. I am also going to stick around through it all, I love him but also the reason I stay is because I am afraid of being alone because if I wasn’t with him then I know I will be alone because no friends stay around and everyone else leaves. He also takes care of me, he is okay with me being very dependent and everything but he also treats me like a queen, but there will be a time when I will be able to go back to him. I won’t have to worry about anything anymore, whether that be people leaving, my stepdad accusing me of things I don’t do, calling me names to put me down, calling my music I listen to witchcraft or devil music when it’s not but also my mom who drinks every day and decides not to get help, but I am done with it all and everything. I know that I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to or that I am not comfortable with, which that includes getting a job because if I had one it would be too much for me to handle to the point I would be lashing out and getting angry at people I work with, but I am just done trusting people to stick around when they will just leave when I did nothing wrong, but I feel like I am replaceable anyways which is why I cling onto my boyfriend and attach myself because I know that he will never leave me. I have him and he is all I need because in the end, everyone just leaves anyways. I am sorry if I can’t always control my anger sometimes and I don’t want to break anything like I used to but I am tired of caring anymore. I don’t put myself out there, I don’t get close to people, which once I move back to him then that’s it because I’m not going to let anybody in and the only person I want to feel close to is him because it’s just the repetitive cycle with everyone else because since I am never going to be the one to start conversations, I don’t want to reach out first unless people talk to me, some people only want to be friends with people who put in the same effort as them which I am never going to be that person and all of that is not going to change. I have him at least, who will stick around, who shows up for me and he never will leave me, but I will be moving back to him soon because at least I have someone there who will tend to my needs, take care of me, and everything or there is somedays there is times I am too tired to get out bed, eat and have the energy which he will help me with the things I struggle with or other tasks I can't do on my own like hygiene, cooking, laundry or just anything but as don't do phone calls either because I prefer texting. He treats me like a queen and he is all that I ever want but nothing is going to change that, I will risk anything for my relationship just so I don’t have to be alone. He also comforts me when I am feeling sad, he sings to me, and does everything he can to make me feel better, and I know I will get to experience that when I move back to him too. He always knows how to cheer me up when I am down. When I am around him, I don’t need space or time alone. He’s the only one who I can always count on, and that’s all I need but since I don't like going anywhere alone or doing anything alone that is why I have him because I also care and worry about what people think of me when I am in person because I have a learning disability because I am afraid of being judged, laughed at, looked at a certain way and I have heard people that do get bullied because they have a disability, for their appearance or anything but even going out to the grocery store makes me feel uncomfortable. My reaction to when people stop talking to me, lying to me, leaving me, or I feel as if people make new friends or forget about me or just anything to hurt me makes me get angry and crying is my reaction but I am just done. He will be so clingy to the point I can't do anything, I am okay with that so I don't have to be alone and everything but I would rather have someone talk my ear off and blow up my phone rather than someone who would leave because believe me when I do get so clingy when I get ignored or anything and I have become the same way but i have decided not to reach out. I only told my friends that he treated me wrong because they wasn't talking to me anymore or like they used to. Onetime when I lived with him they did threaten to beat me up if I didn't come back to Georgia when that isn't what friends do but he does treat me right. I have nothing here for me in Georgia or i feel like I have nobody but to be honest I am done putting myself out there, I am done getting close to people or even letting people into my life anymore when all they do is leave. That includes being independent because I don't have to if I don't to which i am not, I also don't want anybody trying to tell me how to live my life or what to do because I will do what I want to do and makes me feel comfortable. I spend hours on video call with my boyfriend because we can understand each other better especially when we meet in person again and we have been together for 8 years and going on 9 in February and with his autism it is much easier for him. He will always do what he has always done for me, that is what I need in my life and that means so much to me, he is the only one I want to be with and there is nothing going to change that.
I am really sorry that I do come off as very bitter, as if I had stopped caring or not to let people in, stopped getting close to people because everyone leaves and it makes me feel as if everyone is the same and the only one who stays is my boyfriend who has showed up for me, promised me that and everything.
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