Want to #dislike / #Distrust a #friend who bluntly and rudely #discarded me, but she has #MentalHealth issues ( #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder , #BipolarDepression ), which have badly hurt her in life.
It's not my only phobia (I'm a very anxious person), but this one makes my therapy even harder. What can I do if I'm afraid that something wrong will happen every time I try to let myself feel a little bit more „positive” about things (e.g. satisfied)? Feeling happy is something I absolutely dread. It makes my whole body stiff when I think I could let myself be happy because of all the horrible outcomes I already imagine.
Is there anyone else with this condition, or simply, phobia? How do you deal with it?
One day, when I was younger, I decided not to let myself get too happy over things because of the fear of what could happen next, and, as a result, I always felt the best when I was in really bad conditions. Sad, angry, lonely. I knew I was safe. And nothing wrong could happen. I started liking to feel bad.
Am I the only fuck-up like this? (It's a rhetorical question, of course ;)) I just haven't found any specific articles on this condition yet. (I haven't been here for too long yet, that's also true.) #Cherophobia #FearOfHappiness #Distrust #Anxiety