It was yet another rough day, I twisted my ankle yesterday and I got a really bad bruise on my right arm...my right arm is my strongest because I have CRMO in my left so it's around 9x weaker than my right so it's gonna be hard at school tomorrow to carry everything around with a twisted ankle and two arms in pain. I'm still stressing about how I'm more than likely moving to Florida with the guy who abused me for 2 years. The move got pushed into April, rather than summer, so not only am I moving, I'm moving towards the end of a marking period and in the middle of a semester which sucks because I was already having issues with school where I am and now I'm moving there where I'm not gonna have any clue what's happening in anything. I'm in pain, physically and emotionally, and it's difficult to keep going when you have this constant depressed mentality just telling you to give up. I'm trying not to, I'm trying to keep going, but it's like I'm carrying 100 pounds and climbing a mountain, and the weight just keeps adding up, my anxiety is absolutely through the roof, my depression is getting worse and worse by the day and I'm irritable and I don't wanna get out of bed and I just sit and cry alone in my room, I talk to my friends but I'm going to lose literally the only people that I have ever felt an actual friend connection to in my entire 14 year life. It's so hard...I just want to stop and lay here and give up but everyone keeps telling me it isn't an option so I keep going. I just have to think that they're right and it gives me a little bit of motivation to keep on, but as the date of me moving gets closer, the worse I get. I'm snapping at everyone and I don't mean to be like this but I am and it makes me feel horrible and it's making me feel worse about myself so my self-esteem gets lower and lower. This is just something that I can't do alone and I feel so alone, I come here for support and to support others when I can. I'm falling apart and I can't do anything but let it happen. I can't do anything about it and I just want it all to stop but it won't, it won't stop and I have to deal with it. I'm going deeper and deeper into a whole and it's getting harder and harder to escape from, this is truly horrible and I need to stop feeling like this before I make things worse than they have to be.........
#Anxiety #Depression #PTSD #CheckInWithMe