Just so confused.
So today I woke up and forced myself to shower because last time I had showered was Xmas Eve Eve, I have just had 2 days off which disappeared in a haze. Today I had work then a week off. So thought if I shower today I can be gross for the rest of the week if that's what my mind needs.
I head to work after remembering to eat a protein flapjack bonus spoon added for the day. But when I get to work (retail) a person had defecated in the enterance to my store and I have to be the one to clean it up. Suffice to say it was disgusting and occupied my whole day near enough. But while at work and dealing with this non-sense my brain felt like I had woken up in a parralelle universe close enough but not. And I have spent all day like this. My friend suggested I search for derealisation disassociation. And it made more sense but at what point did my brain decide to take me on a fuzzy mental holiday to protect itself. So many small things today I struggled with. So many that I should have more feelings than I do, but I don't, I have noticed this many times. Often if a customer gets irate at me I can carry on like nothing happened. But if a colleague experiences the same they become rattled and emotional. I don't know when this stopped for me but it's like nothing effects me. Except loud sudden noises, the bin lid clicks shut and I full body jump. One loud firework bang and I get goosebumps that leave a painful electrical tingle. When did these things get so muddled.
Would love some ideas for feedback in general.