I am having a biopsy this morning. It took me a while to fall asleep last night, and I only got a few interrupted hours before waking up with my mind racing. There are a lot of factors making this difficult. Of course the cancer scare. My mom had breast cancer. But also, I had shoulder surgery 6 weeks ago and I have very limited range of motion on the same side as the lumps and enlarged lymph node. I am going to have to have my arm in a position that is going to be uncomfortable for much, much longer than it has been in for a very long time. This procedure could interfere with the repair I just had (rotator cuff repair, biceps tenodesis, and debridement). My surgeon suggested I postpone it, but the radiologist was firm that she didn't want to wait longer than 2 weeks after the ultrasound. It's been 2 weeks and I just got out of the sling a few days ago. The surgeon is worried about it freezing from the increased pain, not that the procedure itself will damage anything. So I am concerned. I am going to work closely with my physical therapist.
I am also very uncomfortable going to the breast biopsy clinic as a trans man. The pamphlet they gave me about the procedure said to "wear comfortable clothing and a bra." I had top surgery (a double mastectomy with chest reconstruction) about 11 years ago, but breast tissue is left behind to create contouring so I still have a risk of cancer. I do not wear bras and want to express my displeasure in the wording in their pamphlet. I feel like I am not a patient they include or know anything about. That makes it extremely difficult to feel prepared and comfortable for the biopsy.
I've also been experiencing a bunch of other symptoms including fatigue, unintentional weight loss, and slightly high white blood cell count for the last year.
Another concern is the ultrasound report my doctor got. It didn't have any information besides the enlarged lymph node. There was no mention of the lumps. It did say the ultrasound was limited due to recent surgery, but not what the lumps were. I think they told me during the ultrasound, but I don't remember. My memory is poor, especially when I'm anxious, so I asked for my partner to be present for the results. But the radiologist started talking to me before the tech let him in and didn't repeat everything I asked her to. After a week and a half of calling to get answers, they said the radiologist will do a repeat ultrasound at the biopsy.
Then I have to wait for the pathology results over the holiday.
This is so overwhelming as a person who already has severe anxiety. I'm grateful to have the support of my chosen family.
#BreastBiopsy #BreastCancer #Transgender #Transman #rotatorcuffsurgery #Anxiety