Agoraphobia

Kodak down south instrumental spoken word/
I wasn’t built for this life I can’t face struggles or strife, mentally unstable and unable I try to sit down but there is no table, my brains a mess I might as well write down my address/ I’ve heard so many story’s, so many people take a leap of faith on a bungee cord they tell me it was easy and expect me to do the same, fuck me that’s insane, I should’ve left years ago back in highschool, instead I was taking notes like a maestro, I thought about what the future may hold when I was younger, I thought of world hunger, but to my chagrin i didn’t end, I stuck around trying to make amends, now I’m 22 and at my wits end, stuck in inpatient treatment my life story has yet to begin, I blame myself for a lot of the pain I’ve put my family through, though not all of it was obtuse, I don’t think anyone lives without regret, rollin down the street smokin the refer and eating baguettes, I’m benzod out like a zombie just the way I wanna be, anyways I’ve said enough peace to those going through life without mental love #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #Anxiety #Agoraphobia #PanicAttack

I can barely function, I’m currently at an inpatient place that specializes in ocd and I’ts the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life, just being here is an exposure that I can barely muster the strength to face. I’ve always been this way, I just wasn’t built like that #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #Agoraphobia #Anxiety #PanicAttack

Hi, my name is leilach. I'm here because I want to keep in touch with mental health stories and updates.

#MightyTogether #Anxiety #BipolarDisorder #Migraine #Agoraphobia

Specific to this incident, it was pins & needles in my hands 🙈

I was talking about cell group/church issues in therapy earlier this month, when I said "huh uh I might cry" - didn't cry, but ended up saying to P, "dude, I can't - you can't tell, but I'm trembling ohmygod my hands are so numb rn ..."

Then like, okay fine. I thought it was just y'know, part and parcel of therapy (cos you know those sessions/those moments in session when you explore a difficult issue) - so I didn't think thaaat much about the pins & needles/bodily sensations. 🙃

Until about a week later, I was texting on the bus (was on the way home from braces appointment) to a friend and relating how I felt about the whole thing, just general sentiments.

Then my fingers clammed up with the same feeling and ... well, from my timestamps of text I think it was probably like 10mins max. But like ... yeah I just couldn't even. text.

"Omge3 cos i ctnt
Text
My finger ar
Numb
I'm on a bus"

LOL ⬆️ me spamming the send button every time I form a word. As you can tell, it should be "omgee, cos I can't text. My fingers are numb, I'm on a bus" 😅

Also, can your chest get numb? Is that even a thing? Lol. Like the chest/upper trunk ish area. Is *that* potentially part of a panic attack too?

😤

#CheckInWithMe #MentalHealth #Anxiety #SocialAnxiety #Agoraphobia [?] #PanicAttack [?]

In combination of church cell group drama & unemployment, as you might realise from the previous post, the combination of this has led me to realise that I think I might[?] be[?] developing pockets/traits/smol glimpses of ... agoraphobia.

HELP.

I used to wonder what the difference between social anxiety (which I've always had) and agoraphobia is, but if my experience is any measure - social anxiety is more avoidance of the interactions, the people, the judgment. Agoraphobia is I DON'T EVEN THINK I CAN STEP INTO THE PLACE (in which, for this case, is specifically church. I'm still okay going on public transport and to public places, should I get a job I should be okay to do hybrid work - I think! I'm hoping for that, hybrid is the best haha)

... so here's checking in with those with the lived experience - how did you know (or even suspect) that you were developing agoraphobia? Was it something you noticed in yourself, or did someone else point it out to you?

I just had therapy last week and only connected the dots after the session, so I haven't told P this yet. I do one session a month, so I might tell him at next month's appt if it doesn't get better.

Share your experiences relating to realising you have it/diagnoses? & also how I can prevent it from growing? & how I can manage it .. if you do have insight to share.

thanks! x

#CheckInWithMe #MentalHealth #Anxiety #SocialAnxiety #Agoraphobia [?]