Agoraphobia

It is in the full definition of Mindfulness itself — we must remember that mindfulness is not just being in the present moment, it must be “awareness of the present moment Without Judgment.”

Or stated this way:

“Paying attention in a certain way -on purpose, in the present moment, Non-Judgmentally.”

Non-Judgment in itself, as well as, when utilized along with the other 9 attitudes of the mental wellness state of mindfulness that I discuss in this group, is a game-changer when put into practice.

There have been many articles and books written about the practice of Non-Judgment.

One of my original teachers of this is the very well-known Gabrielle (Gabby) Bernstein.

This is where I learned to utilize this transformative go-to short statement every time something arises in my mind that could be a wrong judgment and could cause all kinds of chaos for no reason:

“I choose to judge nothing that occurs.”

I am going to go in-depth about this here, because it is that important.

It even has helped me tremendously in my marriage which I am very proud to say, with my dedication to mindfulness as a new way of life, and with my emotional intelligence growth that I keep sharing with you, I have taught my husband how he needs to grow along with me, and due to my persistence to create a life that I want to live, our marriage going on 15 years has evolved into what I shaped it into, based on my values, and my mental health needs. And he is a tough one, to say the very least. He never would have grown at all otherwise.

Non-Judgement of myself too has been a game-changer for me to learn one of the biggest lessons of all of life that I was not taught growing up— Self-Love.

And that my friends, is something we cannot afford to not master, so I will dedicate another post at another time to that Key to Everything.

Every time the impulse to decide whether something is good, bad, right, wrong, ugly or pretty arises, stop and say, “I choose to judge nothing that occurs.”

Everytime you see someone and think “they should” or “they shouldn’t”, “that’s good” or “that’s bad”, “she’s right” or “she’s wrong”, instead, just observe and don’t comment to yourself or others. Go cold turkey and stop judging totally for a period of time. Do a judgment detox.

A judgment detox means giving up judgment of all things. Judgment of self, others, the world, things that happen or don’t happen.

Choose to say these things to yourself instead:
“Today I choose to accept all that is for what it is – nothing more, nothing less.” You can also say to yourself daily -“Judging serves no purpose”.

You may find that you will have more peace. You may find that you feel less anxious because you are not having to figure everything out. You may find that you start observing life more and trusting more.

How much of your time and energy is taken up judging what is right, wrong, good or bad for everybody and everything? How much of your time today do you spend trying to predict the future? “That would just be terrible” or “If I do this, then I’ll be miserable.”
Or “If I do this it will make me happy”.

How would your life be different if you stopped judging and evaluating everyone and everything? Think about it. We evaluate everything. We put a value on everything. We are assigning meaning to things.

We spend a lot of time analyzing, criticizing, and pretending we know what’s good/bad, right/wrong, and on and on and on.

The real danger lies in becoming attached to our judgments.
Believing you really know what’s right or wrong, especially for someone else, can be very hurtful and damaging.
But also, we can’t assign meaning to something someone does because we might not be looking at the real reasons why they do it or don’t do it, that could have nothing to do with us intentionally.

If you want to dive into this deeper, you can read one Gabrielle Bernstein’s New York Times Bestsellers:“Judgment Detox: Release the beliefs that hold you back from living a better life.”

If you are like me and love extracting all of the teachings within the best article, here’s her articles website link: Gabby Bernstein Blog Articles | Informative Articles From Gabby

The critical ways I learned to apply non-judgement to my marriage and to my life choices I also learned from Kathy Murphy, PhD in her Article “Today I Will Judge Nothing.”

She discussed how our judgments have ruined many a good relationship.

The problem is we think we do know. Then we become limited by our perceptions and beliefs. We become bound by what we think we know and may be missing some of the greatest opportunities and lessons of our lives.

In addition, how does one design a life without making judgments, without deciding what’s good or bad or what’s right or wrong? We do need to be able to make choices for our lives, but maybe we need some new strategies for making these decisions. We can recognize and admit that all we really have are our preferences, our desires, our opinions, and our best guesses. With this information we discern what would be our best choice for today giving credence to the reality that “you never really know” how it will turn out. It’s a subtle yet powerful shift to change our language from what is right or wrong, good or bad to simply stating what we prefer.

Mindfulness Attitude of Non-Judging is cultivated by assuming the stance of an impartial witness to your own experience. To do this requires that you become aware of the constant stream of judging and reacting to inner and outer experiences that we are all normally caught up in, and learn to step back from it. When we begin practicing paying attention to the activity of our own mind, it is common to discover and be surprised by the fact that we are constantly generating judgments about our experience.

#MentalHealth #Mindfulness #MajorDepressiveDisorder #BipolarDepression #BipolarDisorder #Depression #Agoraphobia #Anxiety #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Addiction #ChronicIllness #ChronicFatigue #ChronicFatigueSyndrome #IfYouFeelHopeless #Cancers #AnorexiaNervosa #EatingDisorders #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #Fibromyalgia #Selfcare #Selfharm #Grief #SuicidalIdeation #SuicidalThoughts #SuicideAttemptSurvivors #Suicide #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #PTSD #Trauma #RareDisease #SocialAnxiety #Fibromyalgia #Loneliness #Migraine #CerebralPalsy #MultipleSclerosis #ParkinsonsDisease #MoodDisorders #MotorDisorders #PersistentDepressiveDisorder #ADHD #Relationships #FamilyAndFriends

If You don’t think you are special, then why would I make You this collage and on a holiday🤗

Extra appreciation for everyone that has been joining this group of mine, Yay🙌🙌🙌🙌 We’re growing!

“We may not have it all together, but together we have it all.”

“It’s the friends we meet along the way who help us appreciate the journey.”

Ok, so you all need some of my tools like right now 😊

These 3 powerful words Will
Always help you to come back to only the present moment:
“Be Here Now”

I can’t emphasize enough that The most powerful tool that you Always have for self-regulation of all of your emotions and for pulling some energy out of nowhere when you are fatigued and depleted is Conscious (Deliberate) Breathing.
And it is also about taking control of what's going on in our bodies. Being aware of our breath or our heart rate.

Let’s do some deliberate breathing together:

Think these simple & fun mindful words with me:
As you inhale “Breathe in the good”
As you exhale “Breathe out the bad”
Make it a deep and strong inhale and an even longer exhale

“Just Take Care Of Now.”
This is a short but very calming go-to sentence when you are overwhelmed and or running on empty, so out of gas.

This is my quick & empowering go-to statement as well to remind myself fast that I am not a mind reader and thoughts are not always facts…
“I choose to judge nothing that occurs.”
This in technical terms helps with -
—Nonjudgment of inner experience and
—-Nonreactivity to inner experience (Creating That Space/spaciousness of mind)

We will be talking about this and so much more in here in my group “Resilience and Mindfulness” so if you haven’t joined us yet - click that Join button and keep this group on your radar.

May this help your Thanksgiving day and everyday bring you Ease, Calm, Peace, and Balance.

#MentalHealth #WarmWishes #Mindfulness #MajorDepressiveDisorder #Depression #Anxiety #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #ChronicFatigue #ChronicPain #Selfcare #Selfharm #Grief #SuicidalIdeation #SuicidalThoughts #SuicideAttemptSurvivors #Suicide #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BipolarDepression #MoodDisorders #BipolarDisorder #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #PTSD #Trauma #Agoraphobia #Cancers #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #ChronicFatigueSyndrome #MyalgicEncephalomyelitis #Headache #Migraine #ADHD #Addiction #AnorexiaNervosa #EatingDisorders #Autism #RheumatoidArthritis #Disability #ChronicIllness #RareDisease #IfYouFeelHopeless #Cancer #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #dissociativedisorders #MightyTogether #DistractMe #CheckInWithMe #SocialAnxiety #Relationships

Holidays, right?!

I would like to open this post up here in my group “Resilience and Mindfulness” to an ongoing conversation and place for you to share and be seen, heard, understood and helped if even in any small, but possibly big way.

A lot more heavy emotions and thoughts come to surface.

Even ones we have been healing from.

Then there is also the stressful energy that others around us bring to our space of balance and peace.

I want you to know that since I am really living up to my fun username my first group members gave me-
slay queen, I have been slaying these heavy old memories and complicated feelings that have been already arising for me - during this Thanksgiving time, and I have been slaying my husband’s gaslighting and negativity…, so I am in a great place to be here to give a shoulder to lean on, two ears to listen deeply if you can open up and share with me here in this group I created for all of you, or feel free to message me to my inbox and I will do all that I can to give (as soon as technical difficulties in this app or time allows) to reply back to you to give you more light, more strength, more confidence, more connection, more perspective, more resources and tools, more positivity, more tangible hope…..

I want you to know that opening up and talking through your dark is strength, and so is letting others you can trust in our safe space, others like me who are reaching out a hand to take a hand, to take many hands, and offering to care more.

Your friend in this very hard thing called life,
Dawn

#MentalHealth #MajorDepressiveDisorder #Relationships #ChronicIllness #ChronicFatigue #ChronicFatigueSyndrome #Anxiety #Depression #Grief #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #Loneliness #MoodDisorders #BipolarDepression #BipolarDisorder #Autism #Disability #Selfcare #Selfharm #EatingDisorders #RareDisease #Mindfulness #SuicidalIdeation #SuicidalThoughts #SuicideAttemptSurvivors #Suicide #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #MyalgicEncephalomyelitis #Fibromyalgia #PostTraumaticStressDisorder #PTSD #Trauma #Addiction #Agoraphobia #SocialAnxiety #Cancers #ADHD #AnorexiaNervosa #Cancer #Caregiving #IfYouFeelHopeless #MightyTogether #CheckInWithMe #ChronicPain #ChronicDailyHeadache #Headache #Migraine #WarmWishes

I have always felt like a lone wolf in my life, never really blending into any tribe for a long period. Even when I was in a group, I was the silent one, the observer. I live in a busy, crowded Florida city so night walks are something I always look forward to. I enjoy wandering the dark empty streets and embracing the silence around me. The peaceful chirping of the crickets and the lights reflecting off the lonely lakes would keep me company. The day is so busy and loud, cars and bikes blasting off their noisy exhaust, zooming past like jets. Stores and cafes full of people, packed to the brim. Sometimes when I'm able to, I will sit at a bustling coffee shop and chat with an extroverted person. I tell them about my night outings and they cringe with fear, saying it’s so dangerous. In my mind I respond, “large groups with lots of noise and chitter chatter, peer pressure, and expectations is what I fear.” We all have our place in this world, and no one person is wrong or right. Like a colony of ants, we are each designed with an inner purpose.

#Autism #empath #Agoraphobia #Anxiety

“On this sacred path of Radical Acceptance, rather than striving for perfection, we discover how to love ourselves into wholeness.”
- Tara Brach

“There is something Wonderfully Bold And Liberating
About Saying Yes To Our Entire Imperfect And Messy Life.”
- Tara Brach

The 9 Foundational Attitudes of Mindfulness also helps us to understand the significance of Full/Radical Acceptance.

First, from my own words and my own horrible things I just had to finally fully Accept: first you must grieve whatever kind of loss it is and then you must let it go (letting go/letting be - the doorway to freedom will be another post of mine here in this group) — but first, I had to grieve that surprise! I will be managing my Chronic major depressive disorder for the rest of my life, biggest surprise for my husband and I firstly was that I did not win the lottery with the type of depression that occurs once, we had no idea there was such a thing as Chronic, Recurring Major Depressive Disorder! And I had to grieve that this took my career away since my onset of this beast of an illness was at 34 years old. We had to grieve that we would struggle on 1 income because I could not work any job well enough anymore which we finally had to accept by the time I was in my early 40’s. I had to grieve that I was too sick and disabled and with our 1 income that I wouldn’t become a Mom (except to kitties). I had to grieve that this left me isolated from making new friends and I had to grieve the “friends” that deserted me when I was too sick and not myself. I had to grieve that I had never had healthy parenting from either of my parents and that I had to save myself and cut off the extremely toxic relationships with both of my parents with their narcissism and their emotional abuse to me. I had to grieve the devastating trauma that onset this horrendous illness that made me very suicidal back then and more times-even one time of that is too many times- I am sure many of us know what I mean. I also had to grieve more than once when my MDD took away my sense of self- I had to keep relearning who I am, what I like & dislike, remembering with surprise that I am actually funny and full of life and joy and positivity inherently. But, Thankfully I finally learned from my Mindfulness teachers and other experts that were better than my therapists ever were, that without learning (Radical )Acceptance and all of the integrated 9 attitudes of Mindfulness and so much more (I read psychology in my free time to learn to conquer my illness every single day) and this was my only way to attain the most beautiful inner peace, and to manifest my best life after all plus transforming into my best, most authentic self.

Acceptance- The attitude of actively recognizing that things are the way they are, even if they aren’t the way we want them to be.

Accepting Reality- mindfulness and awareness help you to *Come To Terms* with and accept things in life that are less than wonderful.

Acknowledging the present reality as it is (you don’t have to like it, it’s just how your body is feeling right now - it will not be completely just like this always/not for the rest of your life); Acceptance does not mean approval or compliance in every situation. As a mindfulness principle, acceptance means seeing the present moment as it truly is, taking it in, and living with that knowledge. You can accept a fact and decide to change it, if that seems like the appropriate choice to you. ***This principle is not about keeping things the same***, but ***it is about letting go of denial or ignorance and accepting or acknowledging what is happening in the moment.***

Accepting what is, even if that is challenging. When you know what you are dealing with, you can discover what can be mindfully changed and what has to remain as it is.

With MBCT (Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy) you can prepare yourself and find ways to cope with the bad in a way that allows you to move on and even to eventually see some of the bad as a surprisingly good thing.

There is also Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT; Hayes et al. 1999)

The Six Core Processes of ACT”).
To put it in less clinical terms and make it a bit easier to understand, Dr. Russell Harris (2011) has defined ACT as “a mindfulness-based behavioral therapy that challenges the ground rules of most Western psychology” with the goal of helping patients create a rich and meaningful life and develop mindfulness skills, even with the existence of pain and suffering.

Six core processes of ACT to develop psychological flexibility are:
Acceptance,
Cognitive Defusion,
Being Present,
Self as context,
Values,
Committed Action

Acceptance is an alternative to the instinct to avoid negative, or potentially negative, experiences. It is the active choice to be aware of and allow these types of experiences without trying to avoid or change them.

Cognitive Defusion refers to the defusion techniques that are intended to change how an individual reacts to or interacts with their thoughts and feelings rather than the nature of these thoughts and feelings. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy is not intended to limit our exposure to negative experiences, but to face them and come out the other side with a decreased fixation on these experiences.

Being Present is another familiar concept for practitioners of mindfulness-based therapy. It can be understood as the practice of being aware of the present moment while declining to attach judgment to the experience. In other words, being present involves actively experiencing what is happening without trying to predict, change, or make value judgments about the experience.

Self as Context is a simple idea that an individual is not his or her experiences, thoughts, or emotions. Instead of being one’s experiences, the “self as context” process rests on the idea that there is a self outside of the current experience.
In other words, we are not what happens to us. We are the ones experiencing what happens to us.

Values in this context are defined as the qualities that we choose to work towards in any given moment.
We all hold values, consciously or unconsciously, that direct our steps.
In ACT, we apply processes and techniques that help us live our lives according to the values that we hold dear.

#MentalHealth #Mindfulness #MajorDepressiveDisorder #ChronicIllness #Disability #ChronicFatigue #ChronicPain #ChronicFatigueSyndrome #Anxiety #Depression #BipolarDepression #MoodDisorders #PTSD #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #AnorexiaNervosa #EatingDisorders #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Addiction #ADHD #Grief #Loneliness #Fibromyalgia #Headache #Migraine #BipolarDisorder #RareDisease #Cancers #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #Selfcare #Selfharm #SuicidalIdeation #SuicidalThoughts #SuicideAttemptSurvivors #Trauma #CheckInWithMe #IfYouFeelHopeless #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #Caregiving #SocialAnxiety #Agoraphobia #MightyTogether

Since this is a Practice, and in a practice, we must build upon our knowledge—here, I am going to expand upon my 1st post about the Beginner’s Mind, the first post of this new group - click to join and not miss the interconnected 9 attitudes of the wellbeing mindset of Mindfulness.

There is an emphasis on the importance of cultivating this mindset in all aspects of life.

Has anyone practiced this Beginner’s Mind or think that you will give it a try?
Any thoughts about this particular part of the whole?

Let’s break it down again:

Holding onto a particular belief limits the mind.
We accumulate a lot of conditioning along the way.
We tend to create a world where our opinions and beliefs are fixed.
As soon as we are attached to that one side, we shut off the other side-we don’t see it or hear it.

Only when we are willing to show up in each moment with a fresh, curious mind, willing to listen, knowing that possibly everything we believed and thought -that perhaps that’s not true. And, if we can maintain that freshness of mind, called a beginner’s mind—

then we can create a space where the mind can absorb, can respect the way other people think— take in new perspectives, and all of a sudden, we start to see not only a transformation in our mind, but a greater sense of calm, of clarity, and also a positive change in our relationships.

By letting go of preconceived ideas, expectations, and attachments, we can fully engage with each moment, experiencing life as it truly is, rather than through the filter of our thoughts and beliefs.

Key concepts:

Openness to possibilities:
The mind of the beginner is empty, free of the habits of the expert, ready to accept, to doubt, and open to all the possibilities.

No attachment to outcomes:
By approaching situations with a beginner's mind, one is less likely to be fixated on achieving a specific result, allowing for greater flexibility and adaptability.

And, the extremely critical skill of learning How to focus on the present moment:
This mindset encourages a deep awareness of the current experience, without getting caught up in past regrets or future anxieties; which we all know the negative consequences this has on our mental health.

We have to help ourselves to not be stuck dwelling on either the "what could have been" or the "what might happen", so that we can instead stay living in and fully enjoying the actual present moment. This is all a part of our role in managing our depression and anxiety and not letting these win and take from us and our potential and our lives that we can have.

It’s important to remember that all of this is not an achievement to be attained but rather a continuous process of self-discovery and self-transformation.

#MentalHealth #ChronicIllness #Mindfulness #MajorDepressiveDisorder #BipolarDisorder #BipolarDepression #MoodDisorders #Depression #Anxiety #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #Cancers #ChronicFatigue #AnorexiaNervosa #Selfcare #Addiction #Fibromyalgia #ChronicPain #Selfharm #Grief #SuicideAttemptSurvivors #SuicidalIdeation #SuicidalThoughts #Suicide #Trauma #Agoraphobia #ADHD #SocialAnxiety #SocialAnxietyDisorder #PTSDSupportAndRecovery #PTSD #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #Headache #Migraine #ChronicFatigueSyndrome #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Disability #IfYouFeelHopeless #EatingDisorders #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #MightyTogether #Caregiving #CheckInWithMe #DistractMe

It was 5 AM, and I hadn’t slept all night. Until 2 AM, I was scrolling through reels on my phone, but after that, I didn’t even feel like using it anymore. This was because the day before, October 25th, I had slept through most of the day.

This has now become a habit—sleeping during the day and staying awake at night. Staying up all night does bother me sometimes, but I don’t know what to do about it. I avoid taking medication because I fear I’ll get addicted to it.

I have a condition called schizophrenia, which is a complex mental illness. It involves delusions and hallucinations. I hear voices—a problem that began three years ago when we were living in Gwalior.

It was Diwali, and there was a heated argument between my father and uncle. After the lockdown, my uncle started a grocery business similar to ours, likely instigated by a neighbor. Ever since then, he tried to harm our business by badmouthing us to customers and spreading false rumors. While I was managing the shop, he would make comments aimed at undermining my confidence, and my aunt supported him.

Our family tensions escalated after my grandfather passed away, leading to a physical wall being built in our house, splitting it into two halves. On that Diwali afternoon, I heard my uncle loudly badmouthing our shop to a customer. My father initially confronted him, but the argument intensified, and I had to step in. I’m usually an introvert, but at that moment, I screamed at him with all my frustration built up from days of humiliation. My aunt joined in, and in front of the entire neighborhood, she called me a "psycho." People watched and laughed, enjoying the spectacle.

This moment deeply impacted me. My outburst wasn’t just about the insult that day but a response to the countless insults and frustrations I had endured. Being labeled a "psycho" in front of everyone was unbearable, especially when people knew the real culprits were my uncle and aunt.

After that day, I stopped leaving the house and interacting with others. It felt like people were mocking or laughing at me. This marked the beginning of the voices I started hearing.

Despite several attempts by my father to resolve family issues, we were stuck in Gwalior because our shop was the only source of income. We even tried relocating, but legal issues and frauds caused financial losses, leaving us with no choice but to stay in our divided house.

Over time, the city road-widening project took away a part of our shop's land, reducing its value. Eventually, we sold the house for a much lower price than its worth and moved to Mathura.

After that Diwali, I avoided interacting with my relatives and neighbors. I could sense people judging me. I was unaware that these feelings were early signs of a mental illness. The chaos in my life from 2017 to 2021 became the root cause of my condition.

Even as a child, I grew up in an environment of constant conflict. My father, being the eldest, took on responsibilities to support the family, but my uncle, with a completely opposite nature, never took anything seriously. My father’s grocery shop was successful because of his hard work, while my uncle flitted between various businesses without much success.

During the lockdown, my uncle and aunt started their grocery shop, creating unnecessary competition and conflict. They would open their shop earlier than ours, close later, and constantly try to steal our customers by spreading false information. This behavior tarnished the reputation of both shops.

No matter how hard my parents tried, peace was unattainable. The ongoing disputes left an indelible mark on me. I longed to escape, to find a job and avoid the shop entirely.

By 2020, I started hearing voices—a symptom of my growing mental health struggles. My family’s internal strife, coupled with the external pressures of societal judgment, had taken a toll on me. The conflicts weren’t limited to our family; some relatives and neighbors added fuel to the fire, making the situation worse.

These years of turmoil shaped my struggles, and I’m still trying to navigate through them, hoping for a day when I can find peace and regain control over my life.

#story #Agoraphobia #Schizophrenia

But, first a quote from Jon Kabat-Zinn who introduced these principles

“It is only when the mind is open and receptive that learning and seeing and change can occur.”
Kabat-Zinn, 2005, p. 31

Beginner’s Mind -The attitude of intentionally seeing things around you as if for the first time, by shedding our expectations and preconceptions and welcoming the possibility of a new moment, one that has never been seen before.

Curiosity, simplicity; Rather than coming to a situation with the weight of past ideas and experiences, the beginner’s mind asks you to arrive knowing that you do not know everything. As no moment is the same as another, every moment allows you a chance to learn. Being open and curious can help save you from being stuck in a rut.

#MentalHealth #MajorDepressiveDisorder #Anxiety #Depression #ChronicIllness #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #Mindfulness #BipolarDepression #PTSD #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #Trauma #ChronicFatigue #ChronicFatigueSyndrome #BipolarDisorder #Selfcare #Selfharm #Grief #SuicidalIdeation #SuicidalThoughts #SuicideAttemptSurvivors #Suicide #CheckInWithMe #DistractMe #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Cancers #ADHD #Fibromyalgia #ChronicPain #Caregiving #MoodDisorders #Addiction #PostpartumDisorders #Agoraphobia #SocialAnxiety #Loneliness #Headache #Migraine #AnorexiaNervosa #RareDisease #EatingDisorders #IfYouFeelHopeless