Agoraphobia

I’m on disability and have been for 10 years. I live in a community area that is specifically targeted for seniors and those on disability who are low income. My neighbor of 3 years is bipolar and narcissistic. She has told me this herself. I have major depressive disorder, CPTSD, Anxiety, Hypersensitivity, Skin Picking Disorder, Insomnia, Agoraphobia, Self Hate, and OCD. I have 2 family members with her same diagnosis. Two of my counselors and my psychiatrist finally got me to cut the two family members out of my life for my mental health safety. It was the best thing I did for myself as they wouldn’t respect my boundaries once I started to put them in place. Unfortunately I’m not able to do that with my neighbor. I can’t even have a private conversation in my own home without her ease dropping on it. I caught her getting close to my windows as I saw her feet. I said “OMG she’s at my window as I can see her feet. I can’t even have a private conversation in my own home!” I was having a telahealth meeting with my previous counselor. He tried to get me to talk to our property manager about it back at that time. I finally did speak with our new property manager about it last week from the urging of my new counselor. I looked into moving into another unit in my complex but I can’t afford to do it. My counselor suggested putting a radio in front of the window in the room I’m choosing to have a conversation. But how do I start to set boundaries with my neighbor. I rarely saw the two family members in person. They mostly did their damage through phone calls, texts, Facebook posts and messenger. So it was easier to take care of dealing with them. But this neighbor I have to see on a regular basis. Before things got tense between us I was the one who did all of the driving to any place we went. She never said thank you, offered a bit of gas money or said I’ll buy your lunch since you drove. I drove her to her colonoscopy appointment last year when gas was over $5 per gallon. I figured it up and it cost me $62 dollars round trip to do that. She didn’t pay me for any of it, breakfast or say thank you. Someone please help me figure out what I can do to protect myself from the manipulation, guilt trips and gaslighting that I receive from her. #bipo #NarcissisticPersonalityDisorder #majordeprissivedisorder #CPTSD #Gaslighting #Agoraphobia #SkinPickingDisorder #OCD

#Connections #friendless #MajorDepression #Agoraphobia #Anxiety

I’ve been trying to make friends lately and it seems like anytime it’s time to bring up my condition, People are just so nasty about it. They act like it’s just an exaggeration and they know exactly what to do to “cure” me , but have never suffered from mental health issues ever. It’s just hurtful, I feel like I just don’t fit in anymore. I’m very fortunate to have a supportive husband but miss that friend connection. I feel boxed in. #Agoraphobia #PanicDisorder #PTSD #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #PersistentDepressiveDisorder #Anxiety

Struggling alot today.

Its 2:40pm and im still in bed.

Is sleeping all day an option?

#Anxiety #MajorDepressiveDisorder #OCD #PTSD #CPTSD #AnorexiaNervosa #EatingDisorder #TraumaRecovery #Agoraphobia

I was diagnosed with major depression, BPD, anxiety and Agoraphobia in 2001. I do have childhood trauma, I moved around heaps as a child so I always felt disassociated with everyone and everything. My partner is autistic and having never really been associated with autism before, I wanted to learn how to understand him better. I have also read about women being diagnosed with ADHD. Between these two, how often they can be misdiagnosed as depression, etc. I seem to have quite a lot of the symptoms that relate to them... I'm so confused 😕

Day 2 bad day. Spent mostly in bed. I can't reach high enough to catch life. I see it but it's too high.

Hi
I haven’t been posting much. I don’t want advice. Please respect this boundary as I try to describe what I’m experiencing

I don’t understand what is happening in my body but the mornings are… unbearable. I am in so much pain in my stomach that it feels like I am birthing trauma. My flashbacks are palpable. My heart races for hours. I am nauseous and throw up. I only sleep for about 3-4 hours a night

There are so many triggers here and I cannot talk about them. I realized I started shutting down after I vented the first time and struggled with a couple of responses. I didn’t realize that those comments combined with what I was dealing with here would make me reluctant to post

Because I am displaced, my services are over the phone so they don’t feel helpful. I haven’t been able to be in therapy for awhile. I cannot get better because I am stuck because I am displaced from medical trauma. I am currently in the process of two grievances because agencies left me in dangerous situations without help. One has already acknowledged this.

I am having panic attacks about how I will be able to afford rent and utilities and my very minimal “living expenses” with only $900 a month. Even with assistance for rent where I would pay 30%- I will not be able to afford this and will need help. I have been looking for years and there isn’t anything for my “unique situation.” (There are so many misconceptions about disability- please do not imply you know more about my situation than I do)

I started recording things that happen in a day and most of my day is spent fighting for things everyone else gets or trying to figure out my next steps to try to access resources.

I sound like a defensive traumatized victim when I want to sound strong and empowered. But I need people to hear the reality of my life without putting the shame on me.

This has all resulted in me struggling with intrusive self harm thoughts and passive suicidal ideation. I have no plan etc but it is just another symptom I’m noting. I have a safety plan if I need it ❤️

I just want to be heard more than anything.

Today was my birthday and it was really really really hard and deflating. People just simply aren’t listening and are not respecting my limitations. I’m so tired of fighting just to be heard and to get what I need to survive.

#ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #PTSD #Agoraphobia #PanicAttacks #ChronicVestibularMigraine