familyrelations

Visiting my family who are the main trigger for my anxiety and depression in a couple of hours. Every time I see them for days after I feel like shit. The last time I saw three members of my family (1 month ago), I had a panic attack and had to leave a family friend’s funeral reception. I have managed to successfully avoid them but today I have to show my face. I want to explain to them why I have been avoiding them but the minute I mention anxiety or depression I know it will be discussed outside of the family...something I don’t want. I’m psyching myself up....Knowing that I have people supporting me and sending love would really help. ❤️

Blood relation isn’t the deciding factor when it comes to family ties, but it most certainly is a wonderful feeling when you find that reassuring bond with those whom you do call “relatives.”
I’ve learned at quite a young age the concept of ‘building one’s own family.’  Having never really felt a sense of belonging or of having a place within my own family, I’ve been searching for my own tribe, so to speak…I still feel as though I’m searching, at times.  
Though, when I’m at my absolute loneliest, and truly do feel as though I am the stray cat of the family, I suddenly find myself in the contact & company of either one or two cousins who also seem to voice and understand the Stray Cat Condition that seems to plague & haunt me. When I find myself drifting a bit too far out to sea, or vice versa, we pull one another closer to land and remind each other that in the loneliness can be found solidarity.  And that, to me, is both messed up and beautiful.
That moment of clarity is so precious and rare to me, and something that I will never take for granted. 
If you are close with your family, may you never understand what it is that I’m speaking about. 

#Family #familyrelationships #familyrelations #findingyourtribe #cousins #alone #youarenotalone #Holidays #Grief #griefjourney #findingyourplace #belonging