fearofloss

I have an ongoing fear of losing the ones I love the most, and in this case, it’s my parents, step parents, and pets. My first dog is an old girl, and we’ve had her since she was a puppy. While she still has energy and spunk, any day could be her last, and it’s hard to accept that reality. the same goes for my parents and step parents. While it’s gonna be a long time until they die, it’s ultimately gonna happen. it could be when they’re as old as 90, or it could be tomorrow in an accident.

I haven’t told them that this was my greatest fear, and I think I’m gonna address it with them sooner than later. It may not get rid of the fear for good, but hopefully it’ll be somewhat easier to cope with.

#phobias #Anxiety #CheerMeOn #Family #fearofloss #Fearofdeath

2020 has begun ...The last few days of 2019 . I was dreading the NEW YEAR(Decade ??? WHAT???) Just sad...The reality of time passing.

FASTER And FASTER it's like you're lost in the rush...Trying to recall memories. Examine them...But I never manage to catch them. I can't hold them in my mind's eye. Then you wonder, with memories so hard to see... Is anything you remember true or real? Distorted. mirage.

LIFE: It's like I lived it....But I didn't? Where did I disappear to? "BE" IN THE PRESENT MOMENT? We say. But how can you be? If you don't recall the past, how do you discern whether you are present or not?

Thinking in the last few days of 2019...A new yr My Cat passed in June...Now We start A yr ...A DECADE with out him in it...Why does time go by? Trying to love my new kitten...But I WANT Time to rewind...OVER & OVER back to when Woo was here...2020 just means he's farther away from me in my memory bank....and it'll just keep going that way! NO! I think of his death 7 months ago today--Wishing I could have been more present . I wonder If I caused him more pain...being in non acceptance of letting go. I'll never know.

Now the new kitten I love...but she hears me crying for Woo. Fear she'll think she's unwanted...WHY?

Fear,taking her to get Spayed...What if she doesn't survive the procedure??
What am I doing with a cat anyway Not emotionally or physically capable of providing the best care #Doubt #Disability #fearofloss #turnbacktime

How to be happy? You KNOW .unhappiness is fast on it's heels

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