Feelingtoomuch

Lately I’ve had so much I feel going on these past few weeks about. I started going to horse therapy the beginning on June and before that I hadn’t been around horses like that since I was little. There’s a story behind of why I’m scared to ride horses anymore, but that’s not related to this thought. With horse therapy the person that’s working with me tries to use #Christianity to try help me. I understand it some yet it’s I still can’t concept how to “let go” my anxiety, I feel I should know how I’ve been in regular mh therapy for a few years by now.

Then yet it’s the #Loneliness that’s been going on, and I have like no friends except one….. I can hang out with and talk to that live close to me. I’m not sure where I’m really going with this or getting at, it’s like I feel people keep trying to get me to go out to some like self help groups to make friends. But it’s like I want another friend I can hang out with, but yet don’t cause it’s so exhausting even though I tend to crave that purpose or whatever it’s called. On top of all that I’ve been dealing with some physical health issues, of what was contact dermatitis is now possibly a bacterial rash. Might have to go see a dermatologist to get it figured out if it’s not healing fully, but trying different meds along with my antidepressant anxiety and adhd med.
#overwhelmed #Autism #Depression #Anxiety #ADHD #whatsnormalanymore #mentallyexhausted #lonely #Feelingtoomuch #inthedarkness

Being a socially anxious, extremely self-aware person, I’ve always suffered from self-hatred. I’ve always been my own worst enemy, the biggest bully of all.

But there’s one thing, just one thing, I don’t hate about myself and it’s the one thing everyone’s constantly telling me to change.

You see it gets me in trouble, a lot.

It makes me suffer and feel too deeply.

It makes me impulsive even.

They call it being delusional or even foolish sometimes.

But they don’t know

They don’t understand this is what makes me who I am.

This makes me empathetic and tender but also strong.

It makes me love fiercely and wholeheartedly.

It makes me fight for what I believe in

It makes me chase sunsets, clouds, wildflowers and yes, sometimes humans too.

And that’s okay.

No actually that’s more than okay.

That’s beautiful. that’s how I love.

Now I’m not denying how painful it gets cause god knows it does

I’m just saying this is who I am and I refuse to change.

I’ll always let my heart guide me, and not my mind.

I’ll always be the girl who feels too much, the one who’s too attached and too fragile.

I’ve come to make peace with that.

I hope people can, too.

I hope people can stop blaming me for every little thing that goes wrong in my life

I hope they stop blaming me for other people leaving

And for me hurting.

And not “just getting over it”

#Dailyinspiration #MentalHealth #Depression #Feelingtoomuch #loveandothercrap

The past few weeks have been really hard. I’ve been stressing and feeling overwhelmed. My anxiety and depression feel like they are getting worse despite the fact that I take my medicine faithfully. I’ve also been feeling really strong overwhelming emotions. #Anxiety #Depression #Feelingtoomuch