Major Depression

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Major Depression
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“The one thing that you have that nobody else has is YOU. Your voice, your mind, your story, your vision. So write, and draw, and build, and play, and dance, and live as only you can.”
-Neil Gaiman

#MentalHealth #Depression #MajorDepression #MajorDepressiveDisorder #Loneliness

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Depression Treatment #ChronicDepression #TMS #MajorDepression

Hello everyone!

I just wanted to share with you an update on my mental health journey. I've recently found a program at a local psychiatry residency clinic in which they offer the very new treatment for depression called Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS). I'm officially a patient at this clinic, and I have been approved and have officially started TMS treatments. I will say, there's still a small part of me that feels doubtful this could work. However, many people have participated in studies of this treatment and discussed it's beneficial aspects including one of my all time favorite writers Jennifer Lawson (best mental health advocate imo!). I wanted to share this with all of you, let you know that a few weeks ago I was honestly feeling incredibly suicidal and just full of existential dread, and just the hope of this experiment and getting approved for it helped pull me from that really dark place. I'm still feeling quite depressed, so don't think I'm like already super better. However, I now have hope that there could be a better tomorrow. Anyway, that's really all I wanted to share for now. I also wanted to let everyone know who may be interested in researching it that my insurance (which covers a large chunk of most treatments for things) still isn't quite covering the whole bill of this procedure (so I doubt there's very many insurances that would foot the whole bill) and I have to pay nearly $700 out of pocket. Compared to some things, this isn't awful. And with the idea that it could potentially cause my depression to go into remission for a large chunk of time, it seems highly worth it for me. That's not always the case for everyone, though, so I figured I would share that. In addition, I knew it would be weeks of treatment when I originally looked into it; what I did not know was that they expect you to show up everyday M-F for six weeks. Each appointment isn't very long, only like 30 min max, but still for me, that's asking A LOT when it comes to trying to make time in my work schedule. I figured some might find this helpful or good to know beforehand, so I felt like sharing. I do plan to check back in and let all of you know how I think it went in six weeks! 🤞💕

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Depression Continues and It Never Ends

I had some success beating back depression and having better sleep (see previous post). But just as I succeed in taking steps to recovery, I slid back today. I took a long nap for no reason other than, “why not?” I had no reason to nap for so long or at all. Just none.

Am I wishing I was dead? Are all these oversleeps and long naps a form of suicidality? Just wishing I could close my eyes and the world would go away?

I want this to stop. I want to live my life! I have to live my life. What can I do to stop sleeping and shutting the world out?!
#BipolarDisorder #Bipolar1Disorder #BipolarDepression #Sleep #oversleeping #suicidality #Willtolive #despair #DepressionNaps #MajorDepression

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💔 🌺🫶Definitely needed to see this today. For anyone struggling, myself included I really hope this will give you some hope, even if it’s a little bit. #MajorDepression #Anxiety #ChronicPain #Stressedout #IntrusiveThoughts #Asthma #ChronicMigraines #MightyTogether

…will it ever be different?!

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💔 Starting your day off in excruciating pain every day is by far like a forever punishment. Damn near impossible to ever get anything done. Beyond sick & tired of it to be quite honest. Life shouldn’t have to be this debilitating 🥺 #ChronicPain #MajorDepression #sick &Tired

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Progress, not perfection #ACA #ChildAbuse #Jewish #Zen #Anxiety #AspergersSyndrome #MajorDepression #anhedonia

I have worked very hard on myself to make myself functional again. I'm now able to sustain a couple long-term friendships, and even interact with others occasionally. However, things like silence, vague answers, and people leaving (anywhere) suddenly, still throw me in a tailspin. The same with gaslighting, manipulation, and twisting my words. I don't know how to react better to these situations, so I try to separate my part from their part on whether it's my fault or not. Then I remind myself of how far I've come and what I've accomplished. Progress, not perfection.

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It's been 84 years

Not really its only been 5 years but I like to talk in memes, a lot has happened I've been medicated with anxiety med lexam 20 mg in the morning and I'm finally sleeping with the help of an anti depressant mitazapine 30mg at night. I think there was a bit of trail with which anxiety med i needed but I cant really remember much of what life was like 5 years ago tbh if I try feelings wise the post from 2019 I cant remember even writing that like I know thats probably correct but I have no recolection of writing that and thats probably because of what went down late 2021.

I started having tonic clonic seizures again out of no where after working for a year fully medicated on Keppra 1500mg morning and Night and it messed me up these seizures were different and unpleasant. By early 2022 i was having one a week and was sleeping in a recliner with damage to my belly button caused by the seizures and I couldnt sleep laying down trying to treat that as it was activly bleeding and the other injuries caused by seizures calf, tongue, shoulders, hips and back.

I couldn't go swimming to ease the heat and to work on the physio because of the injury to my belly button and I was still having seizures, though finally there was hope on the horizon my partner was able to capture a seizure on camera and send it to the neurologist in Brisbane but this is just where the story begin Part 2 coming soon.
#Anxiety #Epilepsy #PTSD #medicaltruama #ndis #Depression #coldallergy #MajorDepression #CPTSD LGBTQIA+

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I hope everyone can get a chance to do this today, even if it’s just for a short period of time..self care is detrimental to our wellbeing. At the end of the day, any means necessary to get through ( IMO).
#MajorDepression #Anxiety #Insomnia #Selfcare #ChronicPain

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