Major Depression

#Connections #friendless #MajorDepression #Agoraphobia #Anxiety

I have worked very hard on myself to make myself functional again. I'm now able to sustain a couple long-term friendships, and even interact with others occasionally. However, things like silence, vague answers, and people leaving (anywhere) suddenly, still throw me in a tailspin. The same with gaslighting, manipulation, and twisting my words. I don't know how to react better to these situations, so I try to separate my part from their part on whether it's my fault or not. Then I remind myself of how far I've come and what I've accomplished. Progress, not perfection.

Not really its only been 5 years but I like to talk in memes, a lot has happened I've been medicated with anxiety med lexam 20 mg in the morning and I'm finally sleeping with the help of an anti depressant mitazapine 30mg at night. I think there was a bit of trail with which anxiety med i needed but I cant really remember much of what life was like 5 years ago tbh if I try feelings wise the post from 2019 I cant remember even writing that like I know thats probably correct but I have no recolection of writing that and thats probably because of what went down late 2021.

I started having tonic clonic seizures again out of no where after working for a year fully medicated on Keppra 1500mg morning and Night and it messed me up these seizures were different and unpleasant. By early 2022 i was having one a week and was sleeping in a recliner with damage to my belly button caused by the seizures and I couldnt sleep laying down trying to treat that as it was activly bleeding and the other injuries caused by seizures calf, tongue, shoulders, hips and back.

I couldn't go swimming to ease the heat and to work on the physio because of the injury to my belly button and I was still having seizures, though finally there was hope on the horizon my partner was able to capture a seizure on camera and send it to the neurologist in Brisbane but this is just where the story begin Part 2 coming soon.
#Anxiety #Epilepsy #PTSD #medicaltruama #ndis #Depression #coldallergy #MajorDepression #CPTSD LGBTQIA+

I don’t usually write things like this, however, I dont know what else to do. Not only did my psychiatrist forget about our appointment last weekend, my medications are never being sent on time or any refills are being sent with the prescription and I’m talking my psychiatrist and my Primary. Who doesn’t put refills on an inhaler?!? I have severe asthma with emphysema at 33 years old! I go through this almost every freakin month. I am the most understanding person you could meet, yes we are all human and mistakes can happen, but when you’re already dealing with so much SO very much and tired of fighting every day to get through the day dealing with so many ailments and so much depression and anxiety and feelings that you can’t control due to your mental health, I do NOT think it’s right, fair or even competent for a PROFESSIONAL to not send your medications, hmm 🤔 you can’t pick them up until the date that they’re due so why make me go through insane challenges and channels to get my medications that if I don’t have I can get severely sick and not be able to breathe. We’re talking about antidepressants, anti anxiety medications and inhalers here. Makes me feel I am not important enough and I do not matter. I am so beyond frustrated I don’t even know what to do, doesn’t matter I contact them..still not being heard. I am in constant pain physically, mentally and emotionally and still grieving the loss of my dear Brother who took his life due to not being able to live on this selfish earth anymore. I get in touch with them days ahead of time just for this not to occur and yet it still does. I feel as if I keep being thrown into a world I do not know how to live in. I am not asking for much, just my medications that help me somewhat and I am sick and tired of giving everyone the benefit of the doubt when they’re actions are unacceptable and shouldn’t be allowed to be like this, especially with someone like me who suffers from major depression and anxiety and PTSD and chronic illnesses,etc. I never feel good ever, ever and I don’t think in my opinion that these “professionals” should be getting away with this, I’ve had it I am done! I don’t know what to do anymore about absolutely anything. Sorry for the rant..I’m just not okay 😥🤬🥺 #MajorDepression #Anxiety #PTSD #IBS #Asthma #ChronicPain