Note : I have been a total shut in for 25 months , SINCE covid was announced--- DO NOT LIKE MASKES OR VACCINES!! #creepy #scary #notforme

So lately I've been feeling restless, HAVING VIOLENT FANTASIES!

I've been listening to mantras, Binaural , Isochronic tone vides on you tube TRYING to easy anxiety and aggression.

Trying to stop impulses to shop/ donate & pull out my hair still: I STOP A WHILE than pick it up again.

trying to motivate myself to stop smoking- RECENTLY went 43.0.0.5 days smoke-free. Then April 4th I started up again! put it down a few days between then and today.... Trying to cut out sugar---- so my roommate makes cake, jello, cheese cake for Easter. AND GETS ME AN Easter basket full of skittles, m&ms reese's carrots/2 reese's rabbits, mini candy bars. pixie stix and a six pack of cotton candy---That I now feel overwhelmed buy but obliged to eat!

I'm finding myself NOT WANTING TO HEAR/SEE TV. Not wanting to smoke. I get on and off the computer constantly trying to combat restlessness, irritability, habit cravings. WRITE IT OUT RELEASE! But this too is becoming something - SOMETHING of anxious addictive habit I should stop doing.. Bored of all I know how to do. Not really able to many physical chore activities with my CP.

What help you stay sane & motivated to change?