My son and DIL had a son June 2020 bad timing I know. My first grandchild and I knew they were paranoid about the virus. My heart has been broken. I was not aloud to hold him until he was over 6 weeks old and I was in a hazmat suit. I spent 158 on 10 sets. Exactly what they wear in the hospital. I found out her mother was holding him from birth and could hold him every weekend.

They came to our house and had to stay 6 feet away and just watch from a distance with masks. Masks are no problem for me but no one else wore the hazmat suits except me. Her brother flew on a plane from Washington state to see his nephew. He held him with a mask. Also went to a New Years party and was back around the baby again. I can’t have a flu shot as it almost killed me the last time I got it in 2005. I was told I had to have the Dtap. Thank God I didn’t I would be dead now as my PCR showed it was still active and I did not need one. I have 4 specialists all say no to the vaccine. So I’m treated like I have the plague. My grandson is now almost 17 months and doesn’t know us. We rarely see him.

My therapist finally told me to just go and pick him up. Well I don’t do things like that. But my son sat here knowing that his MIL was holding him and I wasn’t. I feel betrayed and hurt. I sat there dying inside. I don’t feel any connection to my grandson he is like another kid not my grandson.

I am in a horrible depression over it. My son is disrespectful and they act like I don’t know anything about raising a baby. I had 2 and both were in and out of hospitals with health issues and multiple surgeries. This lasted an entire decade. Am I overreacting over this treatment???? . We also don’t get to do anything with him. I talked to my son about going to a pumpkin patch. Then I find out they already went with her mom. Once again I was hurt. We are going to stop over on Halloween and not even say anything.

Last Christmas I had to stay 6 feet away with a mask. I’m not doing it this year. I rather not see him at all because it just causes so much pain. My therapist says it’s normal for me to have these feelings but I really don’t “feel” anything anymore. I’ve had to disconnect emotionally to just survive this. My son told me they hate coming here because they have to bring so much. Her mom has a nursery at her house. So I went and spent money I don’t have and made one in my spare room. They have yet to use it. The clothes I bought he has out grown. I guess it was wishful thinking that they would come more. They go to her mothers every weekend or she is there. I am a lot older and I don’t know how long I will be around with all my health issues. Nothing is contagious but I am treated that way.

My therapist said I am not overreacting but they are. I had 9 friends have grandchildren and they didn’t have to even wear a mask.

#COVID19 #ChronicLymeDisease #brokenheart #Vaccines #ChronicInflammatoryResponseSyndrome #grandmothernot #Therapy #Depression #lies