brokenheart

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    Learning how to breathe again

    My husband recently died unexpectedly. Life has been a living nightmare. Now not only am I dealing with my regular everyday stress from fibromyalgia, depression, anxiety and PTSD, I now am learning how to breathe on my own again and be a single parent to a 4yr old and a 15yr old.
    Lately I've been feeling more and more like giving up. Fighting to just breathe is so hard and exhausting. It doesn't help that I was living outside the States and have just started seeing new doctors. Which means I'm not receiving the same medications for pain. So going through withdrawal symptoms is just one more thing going against my efforts to do daily activities.
    I really just need something to go right ....
    This is my first post, so thank you for letting me vent #Grief #Fibromyalgia #Depression #Anxiety #alone #brokenheart

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    Heartbreak

    Me and my girlfriend broke up. I ended up finding out she has cheated on me 3 times in 2 weeks and has been cheating on me for a while with some new girl. My heart hurts. However, I have decided to focus on me and not her and not let her win. If any of you have any advice it would be greatly appriciated.#brokenheart #Girlfriend #cheating #Toxic

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    #griefiskillingme #brokenheart #

    My dearest soulmate passed on Tuesday morning. My heart is literally breaking. Literally meaning it has stopped twice this week requiring medical attention. I’m too tired to care about me. I miss my dog.

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    Not able to connect with grandson

    My son and DIL had a son June 2020 bad timing I know. My first grandchild and I knew they were paranoid about the virus. My heart has been broken. I was not aloud to hold him until he was over 6 weeks old and I was in a hazmat suit. I spent 158 on 10 sets. Exactly what they wear in the hospital. I found out her mother was holding him from birth and could hold him every weekend.

    They came to our house and had to stay 6 feet away and just watch from a distance with masks. Masks are no problem for me but no one else wore the hazmat suits except me. Her brother flew on a plane from Washington state to see his nephew. He held him with a mask. Also went to a New Years party and was back around the baby again. I can’t have a flu shot as it almost killed me the last time I got it in 2005. I was told I had to have the Dtap. Thank God I didn’t I would be dead now as my PCR showed it was still active and I did not need one. I have 4 specialists all say no to the vaccine. So I’m treated like I have the plague. My grandson is now almost 17 months and doesn’t know us. We rarely see him.

    My therapist finally told me to just go and pick him up. Well I don’t do things like that. But my son sat here knowing that his MIL was holding him and I wasn’t. I feel betrayed and hurt. I sat there dying inside. I don’t feel any connection to my grandson he is like another kid not my grandson.

    I am in a horrible depression over it. My son is disrespectful and they act like I don’t know anything about raising a baby. I had 2 and both were in and out of hospitals with health issues and multiple surgeries. This lasted an entire decade. Am I overreacting over this treatment???? . We also don’t get to do anything with him. I talked to my son about going to a pumpkin patch. Then I find out they already went with her mom. Once again I was hurt. We are going to stop over on Halloween and not even say anything.

    Last Christmas I had to stay 6 feet away with a mask. I’m not doing it this year. I rather not see him at all because it just causes so much pain. My therapist says it’s normal for me to have these feelings but I really don’t “feel” anything anymore. I’ve had to disconnect emotionally to just survive this. My son told me they hate coming here because they have to bring so much. Her mom has a nursery at her house. So I went and spent money I don’t have and made one in my spare room. They have yet to use it. The clothes I bought he has out grown. I guess it was wishful thinking that they would come more. They go to her mothers every weekend or she is there. I am a lot older and I don’t know how long I will be around with all my health issues. Nothing is contagious but I am treated that way.

    My therapist said I am not overreacting but they are. I had 9 friends have grandchildren and they didn’t have to even wear a mask.

    #COVID19 #ChronicLymeDisease #brokenheart #Vaccines #ChronicInflammatoryResponseSyndrome #grandmothernot #Therapy #Depression #lies

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    Numb

    Two months ago, my partner left me for someone else. Our relationship was toxic and he did cheat on me before, but I still had hope that he would change and we could make it work. You see I have anxious attachment style, so I was needy and always felt like he had one foot out of the door. I know I push people away but I thought he would love me through my hard days like I loved him through his. He was the one person that I truly opened up to in a lot of different ways. I was pushing him away but I never wanted him to leave. I was so lost in my pain. He told me that his new relationship is better than ours. He gets along with her and they communicate better. I’m crushed. I feel so unworthy of understanding and love. It’s been two months. I had to block him today because he writes me every once in awhile. I just can’t talk to him anymore. Every time I do, I get depressed. I’ve decided to be single and date myself for once. I want to break the toxic cycle that keeps replaying in my relationships. I just want to be happy, heal, and forgive myself for my past mistakes. I want to like and love myself. I lost myself in that relationship and allowed the pain that I felt to change me into someone that I am not proud of. I feel like I let myself down. #toxicrelationship #Depression #Lettinggo #SeparationAnxiety #brokenheart #sad

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    My story. When it rains it pours #Depression #Anxiety #brokenheart #Burnout

    Last year I was living with an amazing woman who unbeliever was my soul mate. We have been together since mid 2019. I’m 45, it’s the first time I’ve lived with a partner before. She is a life coach, and convinced me to taper off my medication which I take for depression. I was feeling great so thought why not. After Covid hit, I noticed I wasn’t feeling myself. 7 months after I was fully off the meds I was experiencing feelings of depression, stress and anxiety. I quickly spiralled. I was having panic attacks, and feeling burnout when I tried to think. I wasn’t sleeping well, some nights got no sleep. There were relationship stresses too that I was unable to process since I was feeling so unwell.

    I decided to lighten the load by stepping away from a leadership position I was enjoying, my pet dog was giving us greif as he bit a few ppl and was becoming hard to manage, so I had to put him down. I was devestated. I was overwhelmed by deep depression, tiredness and anxiety attacks were crippling me. My partner couldn’t understand why I was not being intimate despite knowing the above. Foggy brain meant it was hard to do basic things, she was supportive but continually coaching me made me feel like a client. 3 months on New Year’s Day, she broke up with me, I was feeling like a zombie. Battling dark thoughts, starting to get back on the meds again after a scarey journal entry (which she read) we had to tell my family I was not well.

    I moved out and into my sisters house mid Jan. A month later she asked me to move all my stuff out. Then announces she is dating again and has met someone (who I know)

    I know it’s hard when your partner gets depression. 5 months later I’m still struggling each day. I can’t work and feel like such disaster. My brain feels like it’s fried. I’ve had to cut all communication after seeing a social media post with the new guy...Just broke my heart. I still love and miss her. Dealing with all these things at once is so hard:(

    Living with a life coach can be really hard, I was always feeling like I’m not good enough after countless deep conversations we had. You hear a lot about other peoples stuff which isn’t healthy either. Very confronting and confusing especially when you’re unwell. I was there for her when she needed me but I feel hurt she moved me out and she moved on so quick.

    Anyone out there got any advice or experienced something like this? Am I out of line for feeling this way?

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    #brokenheart #brokenhearts #Brokenhearted #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder

    Do you think your feelings of a broken heart are actually your heart breaking?
    What else can be causing so much pain? 🤔

    7 comments
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    Betrayal

    We were so close, he used to be too sweet like very sweet and all of a sudden he ignored me like I dont even exist, and he is there enjoying with his friends, I can see him laughing a lot while I am here trying to figure out what went wrong. And here I am, trying to not give up on myself and I am trying to come back in life with that old spirit of mine. I dont know, if he knows because of him I am having nightmares, my eyes are dry because of the loss of tears and panic attacks has been my partner since everything happened.

    #Betrayaltrauma #brokenheart #Stranger

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    Missing my daughter

    #brokenheart
    Does a broken heart heal? If so, when? How?

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    E G O

    I think it's the shortest word in the dictionary but extremely powerful meaning which can lead to destroy anything!!! #Ego #Depression #brokenheart

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