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#Having a lot of pain

Right now I can’t concentrate on anything because of the pain. I have shoulder pain with nerve pain and it never stops. I have an appointment with the Orthopedic surgeon but I don’t really have any meds for the pain.
I can’t sleep. I’m not gonna be connecting with anyone because it takes too much concentration. Yuch.



Trying not to get there.
Donde mi mente me lleva a no tener control over myself, sad thing. Is like no pertenecerte a ti mismo, no tener la habilidad de controlarte para poder en consecuencia en el ambiente en el que te desenvuelves, si tan solo sintiera la seguridad de que sin las pastillas no estaré divangando o pensando tonteras que no llevan a ninguna parte ni dan ningún resultado productivo, being like this is that, no comprenderte even yourself.
Is escuchar cosas que no son reales, es pensar cosas que no son reales que solo existen en tu mente y que sin poder cambiar el hecho de que te pasan suceden.
Mi única ancla ⚓️ en todo esto es Jesus. My savior, my light, the way, the truth and the life.
Is there where and thank God I Can conclude cuz for my family me han hecho creer si no que es verdad por lo dicho arriba que no hay solución.
Hablo desde la esperanza.

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#Having a bad mental day # #Cycling rapidly # want it to stop # I can’t take much more # 4 weeks now

Never added a new post before. I’m locked in my room because I don’t wanna be around anybody. Because I don’t want them to subject down to my mental horror. One day up one day Down one day up one day down. It makes me so exhausted. My roommates don’t understand me. I have a boyfriend that tries really hard. Been a week since I’ve been in the shower. I would just like to wake up and be normal whatever normal is. And be happy for longer than a day or two. But then when I’m happy and wondering how God when is it going to start again. Or is this for real or is she just my mind playing tricks. I do take my medicine as directed and I do not miss a dose. I couldn’t get an appointment till the middle of September but I need one now. I’m going to close for now


#Having a hard morning

Yesterday I had a tough discussion with my counsler about stuff from the past. That got my anxiety going for over 7 hours. I thought I was ok until I started replaying the conversation in my head at the wee hours. Sharing is really hard for me. It’s 0345 and I’m wide awake and my mind is buzzing. At 630 I’m supposed to be working and be around other people. How can I calm down and act normal when I’m so anxious? I just want to hide til this feeling passes. I’m afraid of people and find it hard to be around them on any given day. I don’t want anyone to get to ask me how I am cause I’m not ok right now but don’t want them to know. Is counsling a big mistake for me? It’s causing all this anxiety. I’ve buried my pain for so long but now it’s being dug up. I don’t know if I can face anyone today. What do other people do to cope? I’m at a loss here. #PTSD , anxiety


#Having another thoughtful/frustrating night !!!!

What can a person do when some things that you have been told about something just doesn’t make sense, does it make it not right because in my mind if it’s not right nor does it sit well with me it’s not right - but am I wrong in thinking this way - my thought process is very logical and I do have a lot of common sense - and my instinct is usually always right - it’s others that make me doubt myself - please can someone just tell me if this is right or wrong lol I know I just said it’s others that make me doubt myself arghhhhhhh see what I mean - HELP !!!!!!


#Having tough time

I believe I’m going into manic phase. I’ve got bi polar 2. The anxiety is really bad. The cycling thoughts are bad too. Vraylar does nothing. Been taking for over 2 years and costs a fortune. I need to go to work here soon at 5 am and have no confidence because I envision messing up some how though I know my job. Any other tried and true meds out there for me that I can ask about? Thanks all


#Having trouble keeping people in my life.

Family and friends don't understand many mental health issues and they have abandon me. I don't blame them. I feel like the devil has taken over my mind and I can't turn my thoughts off