I

#I I have ptsd plus a seizure risk. Today it was warm. Husband and I walked dogs. I needed to go in. I knew I had reached my heat tolerance. My husband said I only need a minute of your time. Anger. I said nothing went in. I may have a potential lomatrigine toxicity due to my dosage of sertraline. I immediately reduced my dose of sertraline. Doctor appt on 8/7. Sertraline has a half life of 66 hours. I need to keep my nervous system quiet. Later of course my husband says again you are not happy. He says it affects him. No one has the right to define my reality. I am happy. Content. But I am quiet. Later we had a shouring argument. I have been through this all my life. You are wrong you don't do this this and this. The truth- I have been seizure free 9+ years. I am also a retired nurse- was RN. I research do my best doing what my doctors say. My husband is a veteran. He has ptsd also but denies it. He is not sleeping. Many years. Now it is worse. I sleep. He complains about our dogs. My documented ESAs. They are active. Attention seeking. Protective. They give us kisses. They also have separation anxiety. I am taking a hard look at this. He expects people to do what they say. I should not have yelled. But thus dynamic repeats. It is always my fault. I need to decide if this is worth it. If he is. Any comments insight appreciated. He will not get help. Refused couples counseling over and over. My paternal grandfather died from epilepsy. I am his legacy. Through hard work compliance with doctors orders

#Anxiety Yes I have anxiety and panic attacks. I am not proud of this fact.
It is who I am. I distinctly remember my first anxiety attack. I was 13 years old .I attended a spaghetti dinner at a Baptist church within walking distance of my home. I heard some bible teaching that somehow scared me at the dinner.
I literally ran all the way home . I could not breathe. I was so afraid that my parents would disapprove of my visit to the church.
I was trying to please my parents . I had no idea what was happening.
I also remember blowing into a paper bag to calm down.
I still have panic attacks . I went to the ER just the other day. Yes my chest was hurting and my BP was high. I knew it was an Anxiety attack. I wanted to please the nurse at the OBGYN where I was having my panic attack and I went to the ER.
Anxiety attacks are a fact of my life. I am 64 years old.
My goal is to find a way to handle these attacks.I know that God has forgiven me and he is always there for me.
#Anxiety is real #Reality #overcoming
#I believe
#I am more than enough
#fully rely on God

Hello Fellow Mighty's
Im very tired & should prob go to bed- but i need to talk, & the Mighty is presently the only one listening.
Long story Im too tired to explain- but Im the youngest of six- & we are all in our 50's, 60's & 70's now with one sister passed.
A long standing theme in my family is that No Matter what happens to, or people do to me- I shouldnt complain, because me & my feelings, my entire self is not worthy of consideration. I dont matter. Further more- If other ppl are A**holes to me, somehow thats my fault too.
& at 57, I got roped in one more time- "we love you"- only to be humiliated, discounted & blamed again. And of course, Im just taking things wrong. I Am the Problem. Everyone else is blameless. The Only Acceptable Role for me in this family is As the Doormat. & I oughtta be Grateful to be so.

Im mad at myself for wanting that family love so much- that I allowed myself to get hurt again.

Im really struggling tonight. Any helpful words appreciated. Hope everybody reading this had a better day than not. 💕

Why did you decided to pick fights over done laundry? Or when you broke up with the women you just married, and tried to leave the hospital with out her? Or when your ruined her 40th birthday? You left her broken after she did everything she could to keep you alive. She loved you so much and discarded her like trash. Then, you chose to make up lies about her. You are a narcissist who used her. You told her "I only married you because I thought I was going to die". That is a horrible thing to do to a person who truly did love you. It shattered her heart. She has no want to try to love again.

How can you claim "Teach with love" when you physically restrained her and screamed "LEARN TO EAT SHIT!" in her face. You are such a narcissistic control freak.

What about the time your daughter was asking you to be a better Mom, like her deceased Step-mom. Your response to your daughter "Well, look how that turned out for her!" You were purposely spiteful.

Why did you choose to replace a woman who wanted to do better, and be better? You choose your X (who you are never going to divorce now). Your X went to jail for domestic violence and now you want her back in your life. Why do you lie to yourself and the ones who want to love you? You punish them because you cannot love your self. Why can't you love yourself?

You put up a false narrative to everyone here. You choose to be a victim in your life. (Your health issues are real, you just treat the people who love you horribly)

You claim everyone leaves you. No one left. Each of us had to put up a wall to protect ourselves from you and your anger.
#narcissistabuse
#I am not okay
#Depression

#I am apologize for being so disconnected from the group but I am having so many difficult times this past months, one loosing my hearing is on both ears and causing so many problems like dizziness, vertigo and nauseas, buzzing sound getting worse, and my hearing doctor after telling me about the Ménière’s disease is now bilateral, the test show that I am loosing my under of words, I can read well but many times I hear other words and I was getting in trouble with my family or friends at the same time I got an eye infection so bad that took 3 months on antibiotics to get clear, my biological medicine stop working and I am having more health problems, pain out of control, spasms, stiffness in my back, neck my hands so bad that I am dropping things, I fall down in my house when I was by myself and trying to get up was impossible so family members need it to come to my house and pick me up, and now I got diagnosed with Sjogren’s my mouth is so dry, my eyes, my sling and now my ears are so dry inside that the itchiness was so bad so the ear doctor gave me an ointment to apply once per day. Well my Rheumatologist and my Neurologist told me that this illnesses are getting worse and I will start infusions, well today I have my first infusion of simponic, I don’t know how is going to affect me but I have faith that this treatment is going to help me, please if someone is taking infusion simponic please let me know, thanks so much and please forgive me for being so disconnected.

I don't have any energy left to keep fighting to live. What I do every day can't be called living, it is existing, for what? I am sure I will end my life at some point, so why can't I just do it now. My loving husband has always been my best friend, business partner and now my caregiver. Each day it is becoming more and more clear that he is worn out with my shit. If I disagree even the slightest little bit, his words get more hurtful than I think he realizes. Then , it feeds like he lays on me, by saying, "well I guess I should just shut up and let you handle it ". That is not the kind of marriage we have had for 35 years. I got injured worse than we realized, years ago, in the ocean and in the snow. They took my life away from me and my family, that's why I am pissed at Mother Nature. #I AmReadyToLeaveLife. #PissedOffAtMotherNature