"Lovesong for a Friend"
You gaze at me with those searching and knowing eyes and
I find myself breathless with wonder as you genuinely take
interest in all that I say.
It seems to me we had an instant intergalactic connection
or, was that just mania
deluding me in its rapturous fury?
I am on the verge of a head on collision with ecstasy,
yet stifling each pleasure-sensation
for fear of getting shipwrecked again in hallucinatory mists.
Still, I hang on to your every word
like a tiny bird awaiting a delicious morsel
from its mother’s generously nourishing beak.
I have transformed into a desperate,
hungry and lonely soul -
an empty porcelain tea cup
fragile inside and out
waiting impatiently on the shelf
until you pick me up and place your tender, parched lips across my brim.
Sip, sip away!
Time away from you feels like a vacuous void-
a black cyclonic funnel
which sucks the life out of me each time I realize
that it will be days until our eyes meet once more.
Another chance to ponder your form -
a grand mystery cloaked in layer upon layer
of bulky vestments. Curiosity compels my mind to linger somewhere between your coat, sweater and bare neck.
My imagination is bombarded with old fashioned notions: hand to hand and hand to blushing cheek.
Sweeter still are your calloused hands
inviting me to dance life’s bipolar foxtrot.
Strangers we once were,
lovers we could be with our fate predicted solely by time's breath span and God's watchful eye.
Love’s flight unfettered guides us into a future filled with hypnotic ocean lullabies and endless fragrant meadows.
Each new day transports us into a whirlwind
of frenetic passion, surrounded by bookends of dawn's morning kiss
and the sparkling moon’s afterglow.
Once again with curious expression, your eyes search inside me, seeing and knowing more than anyone has ever dared.
I need you to recognize your natural instinct
to find shelter in my essence,
giving yourself full permission
to come away with me to uncharted territory.
What may feel like a crushing finality
is better defined as a newly awakened beginning.
Another chance for hands to hold
and feet to dance
evermore in step with the melodious pulse
of two souls aligned at last.
But I am swiftly clobbered by doubt and the debilitating reality of my all-consuming fantasy being sentenced as a fiercely forbidden union.
Fears of frightening you away and losing a dear companion silence my enblazened pursuit of all that could never actually be mine.
#BipolarDisorder #BipolarDepression #Anxiety #Fibromyalgia #EatingDisorders