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    my last in-patient psych hospital stay

    I wrote this in August 2021, but I just found it as I was going through files on my phone. Thought I would share it in case it’s helpful for anyone.

    TW: suicidal ideation, hospitals, mental illness, American health care system, probably more. Don’t read if you’re low on spoons.


    Note: This was my 3rd time in In-patient. It was by far the weirdest and most unpleasant of the three. I’m not sure how to process what happened. I originally wrote this just as a note on my phone so I’d have a record.

    I was at the ER for about 20 hours (I got there at about 11:30 pm Wednesday). It was rough. I couldn’t get comfortable. Too hot, too cold, sweating, shaking. I did my crying for a few hours. Mid-morning (maybe 3 am or so) I was feeling better - not good but not in danger. At this point, I was wishing I would have looked into an IOP program rather than going to the hospital…

    I ended up sitting in this room they called “the pod.” I met a homeless guy who came in to get his meds refilled (fuck the American healthcare system- you shouldn’t have to go to the ER for your basic meds…). He had been in jail for over a decade, covered head to toe in ink. So soft spoken, so kind. Even with his issues, he was comforting everyone else.

    At 5-5:30 pm on Thursday I got transferred to a psych hospital. I was reminded of how uncomfortable ambulances are.

    Once there I went through some violating shit (that’s still fucking with me). They went through all my stuff (without asking), then they did a cavity search. Hadn’t planned on being butt-ass naked in front of two nurses and two hospital cops… and then they put on an ankle bracelet. Fun.

    I only got to eat twice the whole time and never got my meds. So I was having withdrawal symptoms from being off my psych meds for that long. More cold sweats and vivid, violent nightmares. Also, I had a headache that turned into a migraine. Take your meds - withdrawal sucks.

    I was supposed to stay 72 hours minimum, but I talked my way into leaving early. It was causing more trauma than it was helping. I feel like I should get some punk rock points for talking my way out of the psych ward on Friday the 13th (my attempt at humor currently).

    (The next day)

    I got a notification that my chart was updated so I just read through it. Maybe I’m misreading something but apparently, I have a history of Anorexia and PTSD. I mean that’s news to me, but why not… Also, my blood work looks like maybe I’m anemic again. Cool, cool.

    So yeah that was my last few days. Needless to say, I want to live in the woods and just not be a part of this society anymore.

    Lastly, for whatever it’s worth, these were the two songs that were stuck in my head during this whole time



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    On Thursday June 8, Meet the hosts of our new podcast, "Health & (un)Wellness: Mighty With Migraine"

    Need a little hot migraine mess in your life? Join podcast cohosts (and “professional” neurology patients) Kat and Skye as they kick off Migraine and Headache Awareness Month with their signature brain pain banter and tips. They’ll introduce The Mighty’s new Health & (un)Wellness podcast and share what’s to come during their season, Mighty With Migraine. Learn more about their migraine stories and bring your questions — sunglasses, ice hats, and sarcasm welcome!

    RSVP for the event here: events.themighty.com/events/details/the-mighty-chronic-illne...

    P.S. To be the first to listen to the new episode (especially if you live with brain fog and love a good reminder like we do!), head here to listen to the trailer and hit subscribe on Spotify or Apple Podcasts: bit.ly/MightyMigrainePodcast

    #Migraine #facebooklive #virtualevents #MightyEvents #chronicmigraine #ChronicPain #Pain

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    An Open Letter To Anyone That Is Struggling (Including Myself)

    We all struggle at some point whether it be with mental illness or physical health problems. This is just a sad fact of life but the good news is that we are stronger than what is in front of us. Sure our health problems may never go away but don't let that discourage you from reaching your goals and dreams. You are just as special as anyone else and just as capable even if you have limitations. There is something that makes each of us unique.

    If you're struggling with negative or anxious thoughts like I am then take a breath and acknowledge it. The more you acknowledge it the less power it seems to have over you. Sometimes our thoughts are misleading …. They can only be guided by emotion. This is okay so long as we are willing to work with it. Struggling does not make you less than, it makes you human!

    We are all on this journey of life together and our struggles possess the ability to teach us things. Some lessons are hard to face while others come quite easily.

    The point is, you are stronger and more capable than you give yourself credit for. I sometimes downplay my accomplishments but I shouldn't. Neither should you. If you got out of bed today-good. If you ate-good. If you went to work-good. Every little accomplishment deserves attention no matter how small. By celebrating our victories we validate ourselves and we deserve that. Our feelings and situations are valid even if others don't think so.

    What I am saying is: YOU GOT THIS! Whatever life throws at you is not impossible to deal with. So go out there and shine like the brilliant person you are because that's what the world needs, more people like you. I believe in you…and yes I believe in myself…most of the time, but reading this post really invigorated and empowered me.

    As always please stay safe and reach out for help if you need to.


    #MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #Selfcare #Selflove #BipolarDisorder #Bipolar2Disorder #Bipolar1Disorder #BipolarDepression #ADHD #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #COVID19 #Migraine #Headache #RareDisease #HIVAIDS #PeripheralNeuropathy #BackPain #PTSD #Addiction #AddictionRecovery #IfYouFeelHopeless #Hope #CheckInWithMe #TheMighty #MightyTogether #MightyMinute #DistractMe #MightyQuestions

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    Your Isolde Poem

    Don't you remember what innocence we shared
    It was different for us
    Than kids today
    More innocence, more romantic sensibilities
    Teacher mom
    Hard working believing student
    Enter into my realm
    of Twilight and Dreamscapes
    Texts, Poems, Michael Collins, Yeats
    Just an Introduction
    Just a Refreshing of the Roots
    Really do they have teeth on the Blasket Islands
    Or do they all wander to our own East Coast
    How I long to be this person again
    Do you know what a Waulking Song is
    Warm your sailor's blanket as he comes in from the cold
    What if that was you
    I being Poor have only my dreams
    I only had my thoughts of you
    Liv's a Celtic Phantasy too
    She's an Elven Hobbit Dream
    So's Gwen and your dear Isolde
    So hold close with every breath from every vein
    This heartache is no new strain
    Your headache is healed by music you say
    And books and your good looks
    Romantic crown, Celtic gown
    Warriors stance, Ulrich Von Liechtenstein's dance
    Celtic Austen traditions
    Don't cheapen my admissions
    Cherished even when my heart is in a thousand shards
    My child knows the difference between Elanor and Maryanne
    She's Elanor, maybe Elsinore Hamlet's home
    Like Gertie in Reverse
    What is life
    What is teaching
    What is learning or at least attempting to do so
    When obliterated by Tic Tok
    and now since my Birthday, disrespect
    Grow and be me as I was then
    For this our hearts we open
    then you'll be Kate Hepburn and her Carey, Spencer or Howard Hughes
    No longer to the Pain, I miss my chains which tie me to blood
    To my daughter, my child, my everlasting heart
    Is this one a work of art


    I'm new here!

    Hi, my name is Salnsal1. I'm here because I co care for my husband who has FTD with motor disorder and my mom who has Alzheimer's. My 27 year old daughter helps me she has all the anxieties according to a therapist and is on the spectrum plus has heart problems. I survived 4th stage cancer I live with chronic migraines, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, pancreatitis and a foggy brain with memory issues since kemo. I am looking for support and knowing of all of the above plus looking to connect with others that are dealing with some of what I deal with on a daily basis. My migraines started as a child without the headache part until I was 12 than the headaches started I wasn't diagnosed tell I was older. I was given 2 weeks to live in 2009. Life is very precious to me as I have had to fight my intire life. My daughter has tought me to listen to my body and slow down before I put myself out for days or weeks. I look forward to getting to know people on here.

    #MightyTogether #Migraine #Fibromyalgia

    9 reactions 5 comments
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    What is the most comforting thing someone can say to you...

    If you could have a friend or loved support you best when you are depressed or in pain what would you like them to say? What would you like them to stop asking? Sometimes just listening, giving a hug or just being there can be so very helpful, but when you are struggling what can people say that would make you feel the most supported? How can they let you know they’ve got your back? What words would be the most comforting? What words have been the most hurtful? If you could have someone say (or not say) anything to make you feel better what would help you the most?

    #MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #Selfcare #Selflove #BipolarDisorder #Bipolar2Disorder #Bipolar1Disorder #BipolarDepression #ADHD #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #COVID19 #Migraine #Headache #HIVAIDS #PeripheralNeuropathy #BackPain #PTSD #Addiction #AddictionRecovery #IfYouFeelHopeless #Hope #CheckInWithMe #TheMighty #MightyTogether #MightyMinute #DistractMe #MightyQuestions

    52 reactions 16 comments
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    What’s your #1 migraine hack, tip, or tool that you always recommend to others?

    Sure, doctors can give some stellar advice — but you know who ACTUALLY passes along the best tips? The people who actually live with the condition! So consider this post the ultimate playground of swapping hacks, tools, and tips that make managing your migraine symptoms a bit easier. Scroll through to pick up a new one to try out!

    Here are my top 3:

    🥶 Buy an ice cap (like the Headache Hat) ASAP

    🥤 Invest in electrolyte powders like Liquid IV (so many other options on the market too — I’m just picky about the taste of them)

    🎾 Position two tennis balls at the base of your skull (and lay on them!) when the pain is especially intense for about 15 minutes — it mimics a craniosacral massage

    What are yours?

    #Migraine #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #RareDisease #Disability #Fibromyalgia #Endometriosis #POTS #EhlersDanlosSyndrome

    34 reactions 31 comments

    Went for a neighborhood party but might have food poisoning >< :(

    Hope not! I don’t think I’ve ever had it before! Maybe once, the party invite was lovely a resident/ neighbour invited people over for a spring /early summer celebration pool burgers hot dogs etc

    But there was a lot of second hand smoking

    🚬 I got a headache after leaving

    Woke up kind of had a bad migraine I never get migraines really thankfully

    Have some nausea
    But I hate vomiting maybe it’s a bit of a phobia I avoid it at all costs unless I really have to. I don’t drink alcohol so that helps

    And have a bit of sorry if gross lol

    But a bit of diarrhea

    Hope it’s not maybe it’s just random
    But ah ><
    Don’t wanna freak out if it is

    Was a lovely invite from my friend who found out about it on a Facebook neighbourhood group page

    But really hope it’s just normal and random ^^ and passes soon!

    It was a family and kid friendly party

    But I also don’t smoke D: I don’t like it
    Too much of it gives me a headache

    So that sucks everyone there smoked almost

    My mom does too so I’m used to a bit of second hand smoke sadly but it’s only a few mins or seconds in the car and that’s it.

    Anyways hope all goes well! Send me healing energy vibes or prayers my way if possible :) ! Appreciate it a bunch 🙏

    4 reactions 3 comments
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    Where do you go to learn more about migraine?

    In my recent poll about whether or not we all feel comfortable explaining migraine to others, I was really struck by one community member’s comment about how we never stop learning (especially because the science is always changing!). I couldn’t agree more.

    I’m curious — where do you go to learn more about the disease? Are there certain advocates or medical journals you keep up with? Do you read the studies and fact sheets published by nonprofits like the American Migraine Foundation, National Headache Foundation, or International Headache Society? Or do you lean on first-person narratives like we publish on The Mighty or migraine.com?

    Drop those resources below. ⤵️

    #Migraine #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #Disability #RareDisease #ClusterHeadache #Fibromyalgia #Lupus #Endometriosis #EhlersDanlosSyndrome

    3 reactions 4 comments

    A Hard Day's Night

    Does your illness whatever it is just get you in the worst mood some days? Like you just can't shake it? I try so hard to be positive, and not be hard on myself about not being how I used to be before this but today's just one of those days. And to be to honest, it sucks. I'm just trying the best I can. It's been 2 years I feel like I should be used to it by now but I'm not. I keep finding myself mourning the life I used to have, how healthy I used to be. It's an adjustment just one hell of one. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talks lol. #IIH #iihwarrior #IntracranialHypertension #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #POTS #Headache #Migraine #CheckInWithMe #TheMighty #Fainting #Anxiety #Depression #ADHD #TheBeatles

    41 reactions 11 comments