I have worked with the same family as a part time nanny for over 11 years. I looked after both children since they were babies and have supported them through nursery and primary school.
The family have been amazing. They have supported me through two cancer battles, and numerous mental health issues, including panic attacks, suicide attempts, periods off work with depression, and made allowances to enable me to attend therapy and hospital appointments.
I managed to get another job, in fact I was headhunted because I have my profile on several nannying employment sites.
Everything was going well, the baby was a joy to look after, the parents were chilled out. However, on my way to work on Tuesday I completely freaked out. Decided that the job wasn't right for me and promptly quit.
In hindsight I realise that this was classic BPD at work. I decided that I wasn't good enough, that the parents were dodgy, that I didn't deserve the job because they didn't know anything about me and I was cheating them and myself.
Now I have no job lined up in 5 weeks time when my current role ends.
Has anyone else ever experienced anything like this? Or am I completely crazy?!
#BPD #major DEPRESSIVE DISORDER #GAD #PTSD