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New med

I started a medicine last week and I have noticed my depression is as dark as it has ever been and my suicidal thoughts are very high. I reached out to my doctor and she said it's not the new medicine to continue to take it. I just how it's the medicine that is doing this to me. Having you ever had a similar experience? #major depressive disorder #Complex ptsd#Anxiety #suicidal

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Complexities of #Childhoodtrauma

Does anyone else struggle with knowing that good memories don't outweigh bad ones? That even though you were abused the good memories don't make it okay? How do you get out of this trap?

I do not miss my abuser nor do I not want him to go unpunished but it's difficult to describe. Can someone help with this? This is starting to make me feel really down and set back.

#PTSD #SexualAbuse #EmotionalAbuse #BipolarDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #ChildhoodAbuse #Complex

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Over

People should not be able to just use and abuse you while taking you for granted. They often say they’re going to pay you back when you aren’t even asking for anything in return. I guess this kind of makes me feel like being alone is the ultimate resort as opposed to a beat up pillow top mattress. I’m not #narcissistic , but personalities can be terribly #colorful , #compulsive , and #Complex . Like I have a #Bigheart . When I’m at work, I feel extremely welcoming and hospitable. I also have social anxiety along with cardiomyopathy, and the best way that I’ve been coping have not been the best. I quit my #Workout routine because of how overwhelming things got. In March, I suffered a massive #PanicAttack that led to a fluid buildup in my lungs and I’ve been trying to get better since. Going #Backtowork made me feel frightened because on top of my #BPD , I often feel I’m not useful or too useful. Not everyone deserves to be taken in and showered with #hospitality . I feel like that only makes me seem #hypocritical . On top of that, I’m battling #Addiction and #Depression .

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True story

Another traumatic experience to add to my story.

Makes it hard to think and everytime I close my eyes there it is again.

Again and again...

Something I never wanted to happen again happened again.

I think I'm a little screwed up in the head.

Like a wound up clock ticking away.
My mind forever keeps leading me astray.

I snap back to reality "How are you doing?" The doctor asks.

"I'm okay." I say with a painted on smile.

#CPTSD #MightyPoets #Poetry #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Complex Post Traumatic Stress

14 comments
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Trying to use self-discipline on negative thoughts #CPTSD #Complex Post Traumatic Stress #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder

Why is it so hard to shut down the bad thinking that goes in in my head? It seems like an endless stream of negativity. And just because I am aware of it doesn’t mean I can stop it.

Anyone else struggle with this or know of any tips to help?

12 comments
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Music for pre-op in 4-5 hours for a likely trauma triggering set of procedures?

Hi Mighty community! Please send me the songs you would recommend for the above situation. If possible, Amazon (not unlimited) or Apple Music are preferred, or YouTube, so I can just quickly plug everything into a big playlist. Terrified and need a mighty playlist desperately. Thanks # PID#Complex trauma #multiple chronic illnesses

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Lol. 🧠

Me: Don’t worry brain I’ll help you.
Brain: Not if I can help it.

#Mentalhealthmemes #Depression #Anxiety #Complex Post Traumatic Stress #PTSD

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Abuse

Maybe I don't remember his eyes, his hands o even his name but I can't ignore all that he left , all that flashbacks in the form of souvenirs that hunt me like that little breeze in the first days of autumn those that somehow find the way to my deepest memories...to my soul.

I remember his touch, his hard and manly hands going through my skin, tarnishing my body, my blood, like a little lamb in the mouth of a wolf making this disturbing feeling even more fearsome than just a memory.
How can I forget the fea...that day he changed me, he changed and he changed us just to be another abuse story, one of those that are abundant in this childhood, in this society. And now he's just the wolf to my dreams, my sleep, the love I can't feel, he's the wolf of me, the lamb.

#childabusesurvivors #PTSD #MeToo #Complex Post Traumatic Stress #Abuse #Survivor of rape and or molestation #Rape #RapeSurvivors #Nightmares #poetrytherapy

3 comments
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Am I gonna be fine?

I think the hardest thing for me is not knowing when my PTSDC is gonna desapear,it's not like any other illnesses so how do I know that someday I'm gonna be able to fall in love or to walk around the streets without being afraid? Does it really comes a time when u're actually cured? Or I'll just have to learn how to live with it? Please share your journey... For me it's been a year and a half of treatment sometimes I feel like this is never gonna end...

#PTSD #CPTSD #Complex Post Traumatic Stress #Complex Post Traumatic Stress

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