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Thank you, Mighty Warrior, for sending me on a quest for the truth

A year ago I was asked on this site, “How do you end up in these positions though? Raped, assaulted, where does this happen? How does this happen over and over again?”

I gave a pretty lengthy response but for some reason their questions stuck with me. I’ve been through a few therapists since then and the last one quipped, “These things tend to happen more often when a young child has seen their mother sexually assaulted”. #mindblown

I have flashbacks to when I was young and would find my mother in precarious situations . For some reason, my mind has been blocking me from putting together what happened to her, probably because I still saw it as a child. But all of those images hit me very hard when my therapist said that, even opening up old ones I’d blocked, like seeing my father violently rape my mother.

I’ve been thinking a lot about #generationaltrauma and its negative impact on my family. There is so much I have to personally work through yet, but since my mother has passed away and my father just got out of serving a 30 year sentence in prison for taking my step-mother, it’s hard for me to see my sisters and daughter still suffering, and I don’t know what to do about that.

But I do want to thank that Mighty person who asked those questions. They really bothered me for a long time because I felt like blame was being put on me for all of the assaults when I now see they were simply “quest”-ions, and sent me on a quest to find out the truth, for which I’m truly grateful.

#CPTSD #PTSD #SexualAssault #RapeSurvivors #Gratitude


lol @ my life

what do you do when you find out you have a half brother AND a half sister that you’ve never known you’re entire life cause your dad had an affair and never came clean until 23&me told the half siblings & they contacted you and sure shit, it’s real.... #confused #mindblown #AdviceWelcome


I have taken my therapist for granted #mindblown #smart

today I had quite a day first my boyfriend naged me about me eating and his friend and then one of my teachers emailed my school counselor telling them about my eating habits then she started saying that I might be anorexic and to tell my therapist and so later when I go to see my therapist he starts off with so why have you not been eating and me being the dummy i am I asked who told you and he say well u just did I only asked a question but u answered it for me so he is alot smarter than I used to think #Psychiatrist #smartperson

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Have you,at any time,pondered the reason or reasons regarding the reality of something existing rather than nothing? #mindblown #meaningless

As the universe becomes relatively comprehensible,
the more it proves to be absolutely meaningless.