MissMyDaughter

The sadness and anger and fear just leaks out of me at the slightest trigger. I see my daughter and become elated but saying goodbye slowly sets me back into this quicksand of despair😢😢
I keep being told not to feel, to hold back my tears, reach within myself to find happiness but when you suffer from depression and life has dragged you across the coals of pain which grow hotter with anger every day.... I just don't know if I can #Helpsomeone #MissMyDaughter #injustice #Trauma

I miss my daughter. She’s 20 almost 21. She had a bit of a breakdown early in December and spent some time learning about herself and her thoughts and life. She learned that she’s still pissed off at me for leaving her father. She blames me for the divorce and for her having depression during her childhood. We have had many ups and downs the past 2 years. More downs than ups. She told me to quit telling her I love her because she already knows I love her. (I’ve ALWAYS told my kids I love them, every time they walk out the door or when I’m on the phone with them, every time).

She left for college 5 hours away on December 29 and she never even said goodbye. I have left her alone, giving her time to sort out thoughts. I messaged her on Jan 2nd to wish her a Happy New Year and wishing her a great year at school. She replied, but vaguely. I haven’t spoken to her since. I miss her. I don’t know how to react. I don’t know what to say or do. I’ve been crying all night. I just miss her. I don’t know if she’s happy. I don’t know if she’s safe. I don’t know anything. This is a new college for her, a big city. I just miss her so much. Can anyone relate and pass on some words of encouragement. I have no one to talk to. Her dad doesn’t tell me anything except “she’s fine”. #mydaughter #Sadness #regret