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My babies

My boys were taken from me by their monster of a father and he’s been keeping them from me. I fought for so long to try and get them back but my circumstances prevented me from getting them and now I know I can’t fight for them bc my current bf(or whatever title he wants to put) is an addict and is not a good environment for my babies. But it hurts bc I know he’s putting crazy stuff in their in their precious minds about mommy. He actually told them that the reason I left him in 2014 was bc I was abusing him n abusing drugs and he asked me to leave but the real reason was it was the first time that he put his hands on me in front of the boys and I told myself “HELL NO!” After years of emotional, verbal and sexual abuse that was the last straw. N now I thought I finally met the man of my dreams but here I am a year later wishing I had somewhere to go so I could leave this guy. My family won’t help n take me in temporarily, no friends to help me get out, so I’m stuck with this guy, that I don’t want my kids around, until I save enough for my own place. I wish there was something I could do to leave now. I can’t handle the emotional abuse anymore! This is taking a big toll on my mental health and thanks to my bpd things r not greeting any better. I miss my babies so much. #parentalalienation #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #ineedtoleavehim #Broke #brokenmom

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Circle of Grief #parentalalienation #Depression #Grief

The sadness and anger and fear just leaks out of me at the slightest trigger. I see my daughter and become elated but saying goodbye slowly sets me back into this quicksand of despair😢😢
I keep being told not to feel, to hold back my tears, reach within myself to find happiness but when you suffer from depression and life has dragged you across the coals of pain which grow hotter with anger every day.... I just don't know if I can #Helpsomeone #MissMyDaughter #injustice #Trauma

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#parentalalienation Has anyone else dealt with this?

I've been dealing with it for almost 13 years and my daughter's mom is again, right now trying to deny me another 6 week visit. I'd like to find someone with similar circumstances to talk to, someone who truly understands and can be supportive. Please. #ChildAbuse #PTSD #Depression #Anxiety #PanicAttacks


Is parental alienation an allowable topic of discussion?

And if so, what are the things that can and cannot be discussed? I'd made a post about this topic before that was blocked from public view on here. I would like to open up about my story and try to find some empathy and reprieve from other people experiencing this horrible phenomenon. #parentalalienation #ChildAbuse

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heart broken from parental alienation

I’m so heartbroken and depressed right now because it’s the holidays and I’m being excluded from my sons life while my narcissistic ex wife goes around doing holiday things with my son.
there’s no reason why I couldn’t be there for these events but I can’t say anything or do anything because she has custody so I have to suffer in silence and watch through social media as my son does these events without me. #heartbrokenfather #parentalalienation #NarcissisticMother


I miss my daughter #parentalalienation #Depression #Survivor

I haven't heard my 15 year old daughter's voice in over 2 years. She quit responding to my text this time last year. I'm blocked on all social media. But I have found a round about way to see some post of her here and there. I feel like such a stalker. Sometimes I feel like seeing her helps and other time I just want more and I go down the rabbit hole for hours trying to learn about her. I'm already dreading the holidays. I do my best to put on the show for my younger child and partner, but I know they can tell. I feel like I've failed my older daughter and I'm failing my younger child no matter what I do. Wish I could fix this!

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To the person who #ParentingWithMentalIllness #ParentingBPD #parentalalienation ....

To the person who gave me life,
Where are you now?
To the person I thought was solid,
You have left me wondering how?
How any mother could just give up,
If u love me no u couldn’t
How a mother can live life as normal
Without guilt no u shouldn’t,
Even if a mother feels responsible
For the mistakes her child made
A real mother does not give up
And her love never would fade
You don’t deserve to be a mother
If u aren’t willing to see it through
All the challenges you have to face
Accept things new to you
Why in hell would u want me to
Become a shadow of you
it’s obvious you didn’t succeed in life
Do u want that for me too?
Just because you don’t think that
The way I live is right
What makes it less wrong than the
Goals you once had in sight?
I don’t want to live life scared as you
Scared to think for myself
Scared society might frown at me
For choosing my own self
I’ve seen how happy you are in this
Following of the “right” ways
That’s not me I won’t follow them
Living “right” in fear of what everyone says
Where has it got u mum?
Living the way you “should”
You have one daughter now
Not two like you could
But keep on living the right way mum
Your killing it at life.
Nearly as quickly as you killed me
When u wished I’d lost my life.
Is it cos I embarrass you
For standing for what I believe ?
Or the envy wishing you had the balls
To voice your opinion or leave?
I’m proud of me and the brave ways
I now tackle the life I’ve been dealt
And no opinion, not even yours,
Will Change the way Ive always felt
So wallow in your happy life
Living the way you “should” do
But dont dis me for choosing how I live
Just the way you could too


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To the person who nearly took my soul #narcissisticabusesurvivor #parentalalienation #DomesticAbuseSurvivors #SexualAbuseSurvivors #Survivorsofsuicide

sometimes I wonder if I made the right decision
To save myself from you
The person who took me for granted for years
And still continues to do

For too many years you told me I was not worthy
I still now question myself
You killed the girl that I once was
You fucked my mental health

The endless nights I wished that just once
I could be heard when I said no
The guilt trips if I didn’t satisfy your needs
My disgust I tried not to show

The torment you caused our babies
As a weapon they are used
Your accusations of me going insane
I was, I was abused

To the person who assumed he’d won
And that I was broken in two
Well I was, your right but now I’m stronger than you

For the broken pieces formed a shield
From you thats unbreakable
To the person who played all his cards at once
Well my hand is still full

To the person who thought I was dead inside
And never thought I’d survive
You nearly had me there for a while but now I’m more alive

I guess what I want to say although I never dreamed I would
To the person who stole my entire world
And still feels he should

Thank you for the strength you gave me
I now realise how amazing i can be
Without your abuse near killing me
These things I’d never see

So from the bottom of this heart of steel
I truely want to say
That nothing in this world can break me now
Without u I wouldn’t be this way.

You started a war with the very person
Whom is a victim to your crime
You never will win when I learned from you
I’m a step ahead every time

I don’t believe in karma as I never deserved
The shit I endured from you
But I now realise u we’re bringing me down
Cos I was always above you