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    My babies

    My boys were taken from me by their monster of a father and he’s been keeping them from me. I fought for so long to try and get them back but my circumstances prevented me from getting them and now I know I can’t fight for them bc my current bf(or whatever title he wants to put) is an addict and is not a good environment for my babies. But it hurts bc I know he’s putting crazy stuff in their in their precious minds about mommy. He actually told them that the reason I left him in 2014 was bc I was abusing him n abusing drugs and he asked me to leave but the real reason was it was the first time that he put his hands on me in front of the boys and I told myself “HELL NO!” After years of emotional, verbal and sexual abuse that was the last straw. N now I thought I finally met the man of my dreams but here I am a year later wishing I had somewhere to go so I could leave this guy. My family won’t help n take me in temporarily, no friends to help me get out, so I’m stuck with this guy, that I don’t want my kids around, until I save enough for my own place. I wish there was something I could do to leave now. I can’t handle the emotional abuse anymore! This is taking a big toll on my mental health and thanks to my bpd things r not greeting any better. I miss my babies so much. #parentalalienation #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #ineedtoleavehim #Broke #brokenmom

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    Circle of Grief #parentalalienation #Depression #Grief

    The sadness and anger and fear just leaks out of me at the slightest trigger. I see my daughter and become elated but saying goodbye slowly sets me back into this quicksand of despair😢😢
    I keep being told not to feel, to hold back my tears, reach within myself to find happiness but when you suffer from depression and life has dragged you across the coals of pain which grow hotter with anger every day.... I just don't know if I can #Helpsomeone #MissMyDaughter #injustice #Trauma

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    #parentalalienation Has anyone else dealt with this?

    I've been dealing with it for almost 13 years and my daughter's mom is again, right now trying to deny me another 6 week visit. I'd like to find someone with similar circumstances to talk to, someone who truly understands and can be supportive. Please. #ChildAbuse #PTSD #Depression #Anxiety #PanicAttacks


    Is parental alienation an allowable topic of discussion?

    And if so, what are the things that can and cannot be discussed? I'd made a post about this topic before that was blocked from public view on here. I would like to open up about my story and try to find some empathy and reprieve from other people experiencing this horrible phenomenon. #parentalalienation #ChildAbuse

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    heart broken from parental alienation

    I’m so heartbroken and depressed right now because it’s the holidays and I’m being excluded from my sons life while my narcissistic ex wife goes around doing holiday things with my son.
    there’s no reason why I couldn’t be there for these events but I can’t say anything or do anything because she has custody so I have to suffer in silence and watch through social media as my son does these events without me. #heartbrokenfather #parentalalienation #NarcissisticMother


    I miss my daughter #parentalalienation #Depression #Survivor

    I haven't heard my 15 year old daughter's voice in over 2 years. She quit responding to my text this time last year. I'm blocked on all social media. But I have found a round about way to see some post of her here and there. I feel like such a stalker. Sometimes I feel like seeing her helps and other time I just want more and I go down the rabbit hole for hours trying to learn about her. I'm already dreading the holidays. I do my best to put on the show for my younger child and partner, but I know they can tell. I feel like I've failed my older daughter and I'm failing my younger child no matter what I do. Wish I could fix this!

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    To the person who #ParentingWithMentalIllness #ParentingBPD #parentalalienation ....

    To the person who gave me life,
    Where are you now?
    To the person I thought was solid,
    You have left me wondering how?
    How any mother could just give up,
    If u love me no u couldn’t
    How a mother can live life as normal
    Without guilt no u shouldn’t,
    Even if a mother feels responsible
    For the mistakes her child made
    A real mother does not give up
    And her love never would fade
    You don’t deserve to be a mother
    If u aren’t willing to see it through
    All the challenges you have to face
    Accept things new to you
    Why in hell would u want me to
    Become a shadow of you
    it’s obvious you didn’t succeed in life
    Do u want that for me too?
    Just because you don’t think that
    The way I live is right
    What makes it less wrong than the
    Goals you once had in sight?
    I don’t want to live life scared as you
    Scared to think for myself
    Scared society might frown at me
    For choosing my own self
    I’ve seen how happy you are in this
    Following of the “right” ways
    That’s not me I won’t follow them
    Living “right” in fear of what everyone says
    Where has it got u mum?
    Living the way you “should”
    You have one daughter now
    Not two like you could
    But keep on living the right way mum
    Your killing it at life.
    Nearly as quickly as you killed me
    When u wished I’d lost my life.
    Is it cos I embarrass you
    For standing for what I believe ?
    Or the envy wishing you had the balls
    To voice your opinion or leave?
    I’m proud of me and the brave ways
    I now tackle the life I’ve been dealt
    And no opinion, not even yours,
    Will Change the way Ive always felt
    So wallow in your happy life
    Living the way you “should” do
    But dont dis me for choosing how I live
    Just the way you could too


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    To the person who nearly took my soul #narcissisticabusesurvivor #parentalalienation #DomesticAbuseSurvivors #SexualAbuseSurvivors #Survivorsofsuicide

    sometimes I wonder if I made the right decision
    To save myself from you
    The person who took me for granted for years
    And still continues to do

    For too many years you told me I was not worthy
    I still now question myself
    You killed the girl that I once was
    You fucked my mental health

    The endless nights I wished that just once
    I could be heard when I said no
    The guilt trips if I didn’t satisfy your needs
    My disgust I tried not to show

    The torment you caused our babies
    As a weapon they are used
    Your accusations of me going insane
    I was, I was abused

    To the person who assumed he’d won
    And that I was broken in two
    Well I was, your right but now I’m stronger than you

    For the broken pieces formed a shield
    From you thats unbreakable
    To the person who played all his cards at once
    Well my hand is still full

    To the person who thought I was dead inside
    And never thought I’d survive
    You nearly had me there for a while but now I’m more alive

    I guess what I want to say although I never dreamed I would
    To the person who stole my entire world
    And still feels he should

    Thank you for the strength you gave me
    I now realise how amazing i can be
    Without your abuse near killing me
    These things I’d never see

    So from the bottom of this heart of steel
    I truely want to say
    That nothing in this world can break me now
    Without u I wouldn’t be this way.

    You started a war with the very person
    Whom is a victim to your crime
    You never will win when I learned from you
    I’m a step ahead every time

    I don’t believe in karma as I never deserved
    The shit I endured from you
    But I now realise u we’re bringing me down
    Cos I was always above you