Lost #ChronicIllness #Depression #Anxiety #afraid #needhelp #TPN #FeedingTube #MissouriHealthCareSucks
I’ve fought 8 long years for health. In that time I’ve been dismissed, let down, told nothing was wrong and left to my own defenses. I’ve suffered from depression and anxiety since I was 32, now 56 I’ve had a total abdominal colectomy with IRA in 2017, failed… only to get an ileostomy with hope for regaining health and weight in 2021. Now at 87 pounds, I’ve lost hope, doctors fail me, no offer of tube feeding or supplemental feeding, I can’t eat without pain, now on pain medication. Still I suffer. I’m at a loss, I’m trying to make each day count, I’m grateful for the life I’ve lived, but I’m not ready to go yet. I’m scared, yet I don’t have the energy to even attempt to go to doctors appointments with any hope, as they continue to fail me. I don’t understand why others are given help and the doctors I see won’t do a thing! I feel like I’ve just been left to wither away and die.