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The truth about me and my mental health

I may not getting many views of my blog, YouTube videos, Twitter, or Instagram. But most are important for me in my management of my mental illness. They give me not only an outlet to advocate, but also a way to get my racing thoughts out there and most important a way to attempt to take back my narrative. So for the past two and a half hours I worked on creating a meaningful blog post about the truth about me. Very few will ever read it, but for me it was a way to deal with my PTSD and trauma not only from my past but also my present. The following link is to my blog.

September 5, 2022: The Truth - Bipolar Tater

#MentalHealth #BipolarDisorder #takebackyournarrative #Suicide #SuicideAwareness #SuicidePrevention #MentalHealthAwareness #Depression #Anxiety #MyJourney

September 5, 2022: The Truth - Bipolar Tater

The truth… The truth… For nearly all my life I was bullied and picked on, the point of comedic relief

Day 3: the pressurized hole in my chest

My awareness of the people around me is beginning to feel intense. I’ve noticed the changes between me and others more than before and I feel lonely more so then times before. I’m wondering what exactly is wrong with me… am I too intense of a person? Am I too much to handle? Am I not enough? Am I severely lacking what other women have? I feel that I have so much to prove, and at the same time, I know that I don’t. I know everyone says that everyone’s journey is different, and I don’t mind all of the dips, curves, and detours, but it feels like I’ve been wandering in the same valley for the past year. Everything is changing, so am I. I’m finding that certain things don’t really interest me anymore. I’m not scrolling through instagram as much (or at all). I’ve given up on waiting for people to come back to me, and I want new people in my life. All of this feels really painful for me to the point where I’m both angry and saddened. #MentalHealth #Depression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #changes #MyJourney

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Life is supposed to be messy #Anxiety #Depression #BipolarDisorder #MentalHealth #Survivor #journey #EDS #GravesDisease #NoJudgment

Today I sit here trying to write, looking out my windows. I see the fresh snow that fell over night. I’m struggling with a bit of writers block today.

While doing this I realize something. If this is my biggest problem, writers block today then I’m having a great day!

We ( and I say we loosely) as people think our mental and physical problems are horrible. That why oh why did I have to have these issues? Why is this my life? Why am I taking care of everyone? I want to be “normal “.

I have recently learned that every piece of my story, whether it includes my family or just myself is complex, unique and long. Is this the end of our story? No of course not! Really it’s just beginning.

#Breathe , step back and look within and you will find the positive. Your journey, wherever it may take you is just starting. Only you control which path and turns you take. Balance the scales ⚖️ in your life, and always make time for yourself.

YOU can rewrite your narrative. If a part of your past is holding you back from moving forward, than change how you see it. Change the narrative.

I’m still on my journey.... I’ll share pieces of my past, though they may not always be pleasant they have tought me strength and faith. I’ll share my present, which sometimes feels like it’s romp a room in my home. I wouldn’t change anything about my family. Lastly I’ll share my hopes and dreams for my future, the journey I’m still on.

#changetheNarrative #MyJourney #strength #Faith

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Story Time 2/3

I have my “toolbox” of coping skills and have discarded the rest. Today in 2020, I use what helps, and I am forever doing research on new modalities of bettering my quality of life, not just for me but for my family. The guilt associated with Chronic illness, and Chronic pain is a tough one to deal with. I am still mourning the loss of the person that I used to be. The person who could do it all. I am not sure if I will ever fully get over it. I do maintain Psychiatric care, I take my Psych. Meds, and my other medications. I have learned that I cannot just blindly believe a Doctors opinion, their diagnosis, or trust the recommended medications. I have learned to be an Advocate for myself and in turn I am able to be a better advocate for my loved ones. Knowledge is power, and I can’t afford to be reactive. To be the best me, I need to be proactive in my own mental and physical wellness. I need to be responsible. It is so hard when you live in American Society where everyone isn’t accountable, where everyone's a victim. At the end of the day I just want to be seen as a person. A person of good intent, a person of worth, and value. So many times are my struggles dismissed because my loved ones don’t understand what my daily struggle is. People don’t understand chronic fatigue, chronic pain, brain fog, my constant forgetfulness, and more. I wish people understood that most things aren’t intentional. I wish people understood that even though you don’t know what my life is like in my mind or in my body doesn’t mean you can’t respect it. Myself, and people like me are still deserving of empathy, and respect. #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #spoonielife #MyJourney

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Story Time 1/3

I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis in 2012. I had Pan UC, and for the next 5 years until 2017 I have lived what some healthy people would consider a nightmare. Between the countless ER visits, the thousands of failed medications, and IV therapies, and blood transfusions I am tired. I am weary every single day. I am 33, I have 4 kids 11-2, I am a SAHM, and I teach online school to 3 out of the 4 of my kids. Through my years of medical struggle, I have moved from CA to AZ, I have had 2 more children, I have had 1 divorce, and 1 new partnership to my best friend. My marriage was so toxic that I was never going to get well. My divorce was such a liberation, and it led to my Ulcerative Colitis going into remission. I couldn’t be more thankful to finally have a partner who loves me for me even though he doesn’t always understand my limitations. As friends, as a couple, and as parents him and I will forever be learning, and progressing. Even though my UC is in remission I have been dealing with severe IBS, and last Monday I was formally diagnosed with CRPS/ RSD. I also have Psoriasis. I have gone years being misdiagnosed about my pain. It is so difficult when you know you have something but you need the diagnostics to confirm it. It is so frustrating when you keep being misdiagnosed, or treated like a Hypochondriac by Specialty Doctors and other Physicians. It can be so angering and hurtful to be treated like you’re a drug addict, or a pill seeker by Providers, and ER Doctors because you ate something or did something that never bothered you before but it bothered you and made you so ill, causing so much pain this time. During my wellness journey I have tried A LOT. I am sure some of you can understand. I have wasted so much money on things in an attempt to make even a little progress to decrease my symptoms, and my chronic pain. I have done Holistic therapies like Reiki, Mindfulness, All natural supplements from an Herbalist, Acupuncture, Crystals, Juicing, fasting, Chiropractic care, Physical Therapy, Pain meds, Spine injections, Medical Cannabis, Therapy for mental health, Yoga, Personal training, and countless types of medications that have failed or caused dangerous side effects. #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #MyJourney #spoonielife

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Get to know me better #aboutme #traumasurviviors

Hey 👋🏼
If you haven’t met me before I’m Tay.
I’m 25 years old and live in the beautiful Melbourne, Victoria, AUS. I’m a trauma survive & dedicate my time and hard work discovering myself.

I am a strong lover of live music, adventure, 4x4, camping, spending time with my friends + pooch, sunshine & all things holistic health. I am passionate about holistic healing, the law of attraction, sustainability, empowering others and community + connection.

I’m a holistic health and wellness coach and I’m all about creating balance in my life and becoming the healthiest and happiest me. Mostly, I am passionate about helping others look at the whole picture when it comes to health and happiness, not just at what is visible and on the surface.

I’m here to document and share my healing journey in hope to inspire others to heal too. Here you’ll find posts about my day to day life, insight from my personal experiences and more of my journey.

Thank you for being here and taking the time to read.

Love Tay x
#Trauma #traumasurviviors #holistichealth #MyJourney

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Home is where you lay your head

Moose, a dog that my Dad and I shared (he lived about an hour away). Perpetual puppy, he's about 12 yrs in this pics. #dogsarelove #dogsjustknow #iamcontent #refusetoquit #MyJourney #practicethepause

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#mentalhealthjourney #MyJourney #Depression #Anxiety

I am 26 years old, This past year has not been good for me. I would say starting in about May of this year, my mental and physical health has started to go downhill. I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety for over 5 years now, and have been taking antidepressants. I've been on Effexor Xr for about 4 years, but it has not been as effective as it was before, so in the beginning on last year I went up to 225 mg, and things seemed to be getting a little better. But then I realized there was another problem I was having, my periods were really bad. I had taken birth control for as long as I have been married but it seems like whenever I would get to that point in the month where ovulation would end, I would feel really sick, nausea, fatigue, insomnia, panic attacks, mood swings, depression, ect. I didn't realize that I may be suffering from a condition called #PMDD (premenstrual dysphoric disorder.) But when I looked up the symptoms it matched up perfectly. So I have been doing more research on what to do for this condition, and so far I haven't had any relief yet but I am not going to give up trying to feel better.

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Thankful for a better day

Ahhh summer... or at least it feels like it. It was a crazy busy day. I was on the go from 9 am until 6 pm but I still managed to #getoutside why... because that is #Myhappyplace . Moving my body is what helps clear my mind when I feel overwhelmed, stressed, sadness, grief, anxiety or any of the other 100 emotions I can feel in a given day. After being poked by my physiotherapist #ims , zapped by my naturopath #neurofeedback therapy and my car searched by CBSA #myluckyday , I could have come home and crashed on the couch...but, I knew my #body #mind and #spirit would all be in a better place if I took the 40 min to get some fresh air, sunshine and deep breaths. It was a long day but I never regret taking the time for me. #healthybody #healthymind #MentalHealth #strongereachday #OnedayAtaTime #risingstrong #healingjourney #ChronicIllness #Fibromyalgia #Selflove #Mindfulness #MyJourney #Spoonie