mymightylife

I was doing my best to create a structured routine so I could healthily tackle work and my personal projects. The more I tried to force it, the more stressed I felt. Eventually the frustration started settling in which made it even harder to work. That’s when I realized the best routine for me, is no routine. I work better with little structure and as soon as I moved back to that I was more productive and felt much better about myself.

Do routines and structures work for you? #mymightylife #ADHD #neurodivergent   

When I was in high school, I had a very traumatic experience with musical theater and performing. Afterwards, I abandoned performing thinking that it wasn’t for me. It took years for me to slowly meander back, starting with film and television acting, then moving into live performance. I started taking dance classes again as well! I advocated for myself against the director who traumatized me, but even still I struggled with reclaiming my singing voice. I finally feel like I’m in a place where I’m confident enough to try singing again. Singing grounds me out. It helps me. Who cares if I’m “good” or “bad.” It brings me joy, and that’s enough to make me want to pursue it again. Joy is more than enough reason to pursue something.

What brings you joy? #mymightylife #Depression

What I love about performing is that it’s the one place I feel I can let loose whether I’m myself or pretending to be someone else. I’m someone who has always been called “too much” and when I’m on stage or on set, there’s no such thing. My impulses and quick thinking, something that sometimes can be a hindrance with my ADHD, become my strength. My loud and talkative nature make me stand out. I get to leave every audition I attend knowing I was able to be all of the parts of me I have to simmer and dim daily, and that is so freeing and refreshing.

Where do you feel you can be 100% you?

#Bipolar #mymightylife   #ADHD #Depression

I’m very good at combating anxiety. It’s taken me years, but every time I hear “You’re not good enough,” I’ve been able to bite back with “Yes, I am.” This weekend was not like that. Like a toxic friend, anxiety held me close telling me lies and my mental state was so low they all sounded like facts. I sank into the trap of self-induced isolation, fearful to reach out while feeling guilty for the people I was worrying with my absence. Even now, I’m struggling to open back up and “return to normal.”

#Depression #Anxiety #Grief

I’m in the process of making my apartment ADHD friendly. On my days off, I’m very bad at having fun or relaxing because I don’t know what to do. Object permanence issues mean if I don’t see it in front of me, it doesn’t exist. So I’m putting my hobbies on display. Currently that just looks like putting my books and guitar on display, but I’m going to put some shelving above my TV and in another room so I can showcase my baking equipment and cameras! Hopefully this entices me to have more fun.

#ADHD #mymightylife #Depression #Anxiety

Today in therapy I talked about how lonely I am. I struggle with connecting to new people, simply because it’s draining and I’m working on my trust issues. My therapist told me that the only way to fix loneliness is to be social. How shocking, right? Today I’m reaching out to people I already know and like, but I may not be super close with to see if they’re interested in a virtual lunch date.

#Depression #Bipolar #mymightylife

Building in time for myself is proving to feel impossible, even if it's not. I’m trying to find small ways to infuse self care, both preemptive and responsive into my current lifestyle. Today I’m ordering door dash from my favorite burger place.