neurodivergent

#Autism #NonverbalLearningDisability #neurodivergent #Depression #Anxiety

I’m a 21 year old and I’m really sick of feeling beyond unlikable. I try so hard to be a great friend and I care so much for people yet I don't know anyone who cares about me and would notice if I were gone. Even on twitter, where there's people with similar interests, I can’t even manage to make any close friends. My birthday was last week and the people on there, who I thought I was closer to, didn't even bother to wish me a happy birthday even though I always give so much energy to people (I always care more about people than they ever do). And I had no close friends in real life to celebrate my birthday with that day. It just reminds me how pathetic and lonely and friendless I truly am. I was so sad and lonely and just wanted my birthday to be over. And even when I talk to people, and start to develop a friendship, they just eventually peter and they stop talking to me. Idk if it’s natural drifting apart or if I did something wrong. I always feel like I do everything wrong and that people find me annoying and don’t like me. It just seems like I’m incapable of establishing close friendships and that I’m not meant to have any. Even when I’m a part of a group chat, a meet up, a group of my coworkers all chatting, etc., it’s always like I don’t exist and basically a ghost and that I don’t truly belong. It seems like everyone’s friends with each other and I’m always on the outside looking in. A good portion of the time it doesn’t really bother me (since people are exhausting and I like being by myself a good amount of the time), but at other times it hurts so much and makes me wonder what is wrong with me. Am I that horrific, insufferable, unlovable, and insignificant??? and also maybe that I don’t deserve to have any for a/any close friend(s) who care about me and it’s too much to ask for any and that I should give up on ever having any close friendships-it's never going to happen.

youtu.be/uxyM7vhU0uU ... One of my favorite stem songs. What's yours? #actuallyautistic #ASD #AutisticAdults #neurodivergent

I went and saw a rheumatologist yesterday because of some physical symptoms I've been having. Specifically, my knee locks and I have to kick it really hard to make it unlock and then it's sore and tender for days. I also have pain in my knees, ankles, low back, upper back, shoulders, neck, and jaw. My primary care provider referred me to this Doctor when I told her I was concerned that I may have joint hyper mobility and am interested in figuring out what is causing my discomfort.

At my appointment, I had no visible signs of inflammation, so the specialist told me there was no need for testing for rheumatological conditions. She did note that my joints are hyper mobile and recommended genetic testing for that. When she touched and put pressure on my joints, it felt very odd and twitchy. Almost like an electric feeling. All she said was "there's some crunching but no inflammation."

When she saw in my chart that I used to be on antidepressants and a mood stabilizer, she asked "who's idea was it for you to go off of those medications?" and I told her my own. She asked if my pain was better when I was on them and I said I am here for physical health, not mental, and I have a therapist who I see regularly.

She recommended taking tylenol, and I told her I prefer not to. Then she said "well if you don't even need tylenol...." suggesting that many pain is not bad. I insisted "No, it's not that I don't need it, I prefer natural methods such as cannabis and resting when I need to." She became very dismissive after that and basically just told me that nothing is physically wrong and to go see my therapist.

Does anyone have any advice on where to look for help next?? I'm getting desperate.

#CheckInWithMe #ChronicPain #hypermobity #medicalgaslighting
#neurodivergent
#ADHD

I am Nakshatra but you can call me Naksh like my username. I've been living with mental illnesses like anxiety, chronic depression and insomnia since the past 12yrs. Last year i was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, adult ADHD and i wouldn't say i was surprised because that would be an understatement. So my therapist sent me here on this site so that I could learn from a community filled with people like me and guide me so i can find my will to live again.

I will try my best 🙂
Naksh :)
#Autism #ADHD #aspergersyndrome #Anxiety #Depression #neurodivergent

I don’t think I know anyone who didn’t have some sort of major upheaval in their lives in the past 10 years. That’s living, right? No one gets out unscathed. In the past 10 years, I have moved 6 times, gotten divorced, been diagnosed with PMDD, had vertebrae in my neck fused, made some amazing new friends, grown closer to my best friends, lost loved ones, bought a house, sold a house, built a house, fallen in love, had the most amazing job of my life, and so much more. But one of the most defining moments of the past decade for me happened four years ago.

That’s when my daughter was diagnosed as having Autism, ADHD, and a generalized anxiety disorder. If Autism still had categories, she would be classified as having Asperger’s and Pathological Demand Avoidance Syndromes.

It was A LOT to swallow.

She is my only child and I had always known she was "difficult". She is very literal, often unable to understand social conventions, subject to outbursts and meltdowns that can be shocking, and she desperately needs to be in control of pretty much every situation.

But she is also incredibly bright, hyperverbal, extremely creative, bitingly funny, and quirky.

I don’t know exactly what it’s like to BE my daughter, but I can share some of the things that make life different for her. She has acute anxiety every day. It’s not always visible because she is learning to adapt, but it is always there. Anything that is “not the same”, overstimulation, everyday demands – all of these things can and do cause her to act impulsively and lash out in anger. She takes EVERYTHING personally and is often quite sure that no one on the planet likes her.

Feeling like she has no control over a situation – whether that be going to a new place, meeting new people, or feeling like she isn’t being heard or taken seriously – can cause some of her biggest panic attacks. These look like outbursts/tantrums/meltdowns complete with screaming and threats, but they are truly panic attacks and require a completely different approach to diffusing than an actual tantrum would (sorry to all the teachers that had her in class before we figured this out).

She puts up with parents and step-parents who are struggling to understand her and who continuously get it wrong.

But every day we are learning. We are learning what her triggers are. We are learning when to hold on tightest and when to loosen our grip. We are learning how to help her navigate a world that is always “yelling” at her. We are learning how to bring people into her world. Most importantly, we are learning how to not take any of it personally either. That’s the hardest one I think.

I’m writing this because she permitted me to do so – weeks ago in fact. She’s not ashamed or afraid of her diagnosis anymore. She wants to learn more about herself. She wants to help other kids and families who might be having a rough time. I can't think of a better time to start than now.

#Autism #Aspergers #pathologicaldemandavoidance #raisinga #neurodivergent

I have #ADHD and am a #Trauma survivor.

I’ve struggled with my self esteem since first grade. That’s when I first started to notice I was different. That’s when I started to feel like I wasn’t good enough.

After years of #Abuse I became even more down on myself. I felt like I deserved it.

I’ve started to recover from that but my self worth has only gotten more complicated in recent years.

I teach high school. I threw my heart and soul into it. I love my kids so much.

But as a #neurodivergent person, it’s such a hard job for me. And with the way the world has been it’s gotten much harder.

My mental health was shot by the end of this year. Next year I’m pivoting away from teaching.

And this has destroyed my self esteem even further.

If I can’t hack it as a teacher, a job I put so much of myself into, a job I really felt gave me something I could bring to the table, what is my worth?

What do I bring to the table? I don’t have anything I’m good at. I don’t have anything I provide to the world.

I believe every person has value. I wish I could feel that way about myself.

#CheckInWithMe #ADHDInGirls

Hi, my name is anastasia_m. I'm here because I'm a 2 year cancer survivor. I also have sensory processing issues, positive I'm neurodivergent and looking for people of a shared experience.
#MightyTogether #Cancer #neurodivergent

I am drained. I feel lost and alone and confused and I'm terrified of slipping back into depression. I'm struggling to complete my goals and to do the things that make me happy and even the ones I love don't seem to make it better. I was in therapy for a bit, but my dad didn't pay the bill and the therapist I had, while being a kind person who tried to help, was not the best fit for me. I do plan on getting that bill paid off, I'm just trying to find a way.

My family and I strongly suspect I have ADHD since I display many symptoms and I have a family history -- I have multiple siblings who've been diagnosed, there are probably more people in my family with ADHD than without it. I've also been told that I seem to show symptoms of OCD or autism or both. I have had obsessive thought spirals and compulsive behavior, such as when I was convinced I could feel germs on my hands and washed them until they bled or or when I would have intrusive thoughts about doing something against my religious beliefs and would constantly pray or ask my mother for reassurance because of it. I also hate change (even for little things -- not that long ago I got very upset over having to use a different TV remote) and I notice myself avoiding eye contact (in fact I just recently found a text from a few years ago complaining about eye contact) and I don't feel like I fit.

I feel different.

I think I understand what people mean and I don't. I suck at lying, which is bad socially as much as people say honesty is a virtue, and there have been multiple instances where people claimed to be my friend, but either abandoned me or been unkind to me, which has been hurtful and confusing.

One thing I used to pride myself on was that the few good friends I did have trusted me. They talked to me about their problems and I opened up to them and we took comfort in not being alone, in sharing our burdens and feeling like we had someone to talk to.

Then they all moved on and I'm left here reminding myself that it's life, knowing that it's nothing personal, and still hurting. We still talk sometimes, but it's not the same. And I haven't found many new friends, especially not as close as those ones. I've tried to help new people and it hasn't worked. I don't know what I'm doing wrong and why I can't help people anymore and it makes me feel so worthless.

My mother thinks people don't want to burden me because they know about trauma I've survived and then I feel bad. Like I'm a burden on people and I don't give anything back. I've struggled for years with bouts of depression and anxiety and I feel inferior for one foolish reason or other. And there's something inside of me constantly telling me it's not that bad and that I'm being dramatic.

I feel so alone. Like nobody will ever be able to understand me and like I'll spend the rest of my life pretending that I don't feel that way so I don't hurt other people's feelings. I think it'll help if I find a way to meet other people who struggle with the things I do. I think that's why my other friends and I got on so well. My mother found a promising option for counseling recently and I'm hoping to start an Etsy store.

I'm just trying to take it one day at a time. If any of you know of anything that's helped you, whether it's a song or a story or a coping strategy, please let me know. <3 #Anxiety #Loneliness #neurodivergent #possiblyahdd #ADHD #possiblyocd #OCD #possiblyautistic

Traumatic childhoods are always difficult to deal with. After years of therapy finally someone diagnosed me with autism and adhd. Without going into too much of my symptoms, I keep wondering if my family had treated me better, they would have spared me some trauma? if they knew that I wasn’t a ‘bad’ child but my brain worked just differently. I keep wondering if I there was a way to not go though pain since 40 years. What if my parents just paid a little bit of attention and I got a diagnosis. Would I be contempt now? Is forgiveness possible? #ADHD #Autism #neurodivergent #Misophonia #Depression #Anxiety #forgive #Parents