On Tuesday I was diagnosed with autism and ADHD (well, intense anxiety too but I had already had confirmation of that.)
I’m actually feeling very down, which I didn’t expect. I have strongly suspected that I was autistic since April of 2024, so I thought the official diagnosis would mostly feel like confirmation, validation and relief. But I feel very alone and like I’m grieving a new overwhelming loss.
It doesn’t make sense to me because I’ve been processing the possibility (probability) of autism for over a year, ADHD for some months now. I thought I had already experienced a lot of the grief, confusion, sadness, anger, etc. that can come with such a realization about oneself (especially when learning about it in mid-adulthood.)
It seems like I only experienced some of those very difficult feelings, maybe only a little bit of them…like a ‘tip of the iceberg’ kind of situation. And that now I’m feeling the FULL ‘weight’ of it.
I’m 43 and don’t have anyone around me who can really understand. My daughter was diagnosed recently too, but she’s 20 and her life experience has been very different than mine,…in a good way that I am very thankful for. Plus, she’s my daughter and I have never been one to lean on my children for emotional support.
Can anyone relate? Anyone have words of support or advice or encouragement? I feel like I’m ‘sinking’ and have nothing to grab onto right now other than this site, this community.
Thank you for reading.
#Autism #ADHD #ADHDInGirls #Anxiety #artastherapy #neurodivergent #Neurodiversity #LateDiagnosis
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