I sit here slowly going out of my mind! These walls are closing in on me! I can’t breath! I see no reason to live anymore! I have no one to really love me! I have nothing! Living isn’t fun anymore! It is so hard to smile and it is impossible to be happy! The world is so poisoned!! The stars no longer shine in your eyes! The moon has blackened your spirit! The sun has scorched your soul! The wind blows you in all directions! The love you once had in your heart has now turned into hatred! The memories you once had has faded to almost nothing!! Everything about your life means absolutely nothing to anyone else!! You try to cope day by day, but it is getting harder and harder to do! Why? Because we are in a world of MASS CONFUSION!! #Itiswhatitis#mythoughts#myworry#GodBlessYOU#butterflywings
I tent to feel ripped, like I’m about to be broken in million of pieces and I’m afraid that I will never be able tu put them alltogether. It’s a disconcerting feeling, It might be one of my biggest fears so I try to avoid pain or conflicts because it’s when the rupture begins. It’s like every day you are trying really hard to not succumb, to not lose your shit because if you do there’s chance you won’t comeback from that last crisis. It feels like living in the border of two countries and neither of them feels like home, neither of them gives you peace; it’s a constant doubt of where the hell you are because you get lost constantly. It’s funny how you try tu run away from everything that hurts you, but it hurts you to scape, cuz is a exhausting feeling that always leeds you to the same place, to your pain. So unresolved pain may be the reason why we live from the border, sometimes it hurts so much that I don’t longer feel human I don’t longer feel like I exist. But maybe you don’t have to arm the puzzle of your existence with the broken pieces, maybe they have to be broken to get new pieces so beeing on the border can also be the start of something new.
most days just feel like a daze, like time is just passing by. I haven’t seen outside in 2 days and been sleeping around the house not wanting to be bothered by anyone. when I try to express my thoughts I feel like no one is listening. #mythoughts
You thought you had me This is true At one point it was me and you But now shit It’s just me versus you I never knew what pain you caused Till I sat there crying in my car
I realize something You were a fake A liar a thief But yet I still loved you But your love was full of shame If I could go back in time And stop ever meeting you I would You fucked up Made me see who I truly am You put me on blast for what The shit you were already doing Damn hurt huh
Now I’ll sit here high in my castle Not giving a fuck about you For what I thought we had was worth it Turns out you had different intentions All the false pregnancy scares All the late nights fighting it out But shit you gave me life And for that I’m great full My daughter means more to me then you ever did But yet you hold her over my head About how I’m such a horrible parent How I cannot be trusted with our daughter Who raised her everyday for 3 years But yet you can’t trust me
But oh he’s the one for you Good glad happy for you But to you I say deuces You have no life You feed on misery I hope that mother fucker knows He will see your true colors And fly away By then I’ll be gone away
I often feel like I'm always being needy with attention. It's not like I didn't get any attention when I was a child, maybe I just got used to it and it makes me sad whenever I am being ignored. Every single thing upsets me and I think this is because of my depression and anxiety.
It makes me upset when I see my best friend online but is not calling me on FaceTime.
It makes me upset when a person who I often talk to suddenly tells me to go out of the house and have fun. It feels like he/she is pushing me away and is tired of me.
It makes me upset whenever I get a late response to people with whom I immediately respond once they send me a message.
It makes me upset when people make fun of my depression and anxiety. That I won't be able to handle things because I get anxious with every little thing around me.
It makes me upset when people joke about suicide or when they joke about me to just kill myself.
It makes me upset that it's so hard to explain everything to everyone, including my shrink.
It makes me upset that the people who did me wrong are still living and are all okay mentally. When here I am, suffering from every single memory that I have.
It makes me upset that I am very forgetful and that there are a lot of things that I can't remember, yet I can remember every single bad thing that had happened to me.
It makes me upset when a relative or a family member talk about mental illness, how in their generation, everyone was happy and well. That mental illness is a made up thing by shrinks to earn money and for pharmaceuticals to earn. That shrinks only prescribe medications just so people who are suffering from will be relying on these meds.
It makes me upset that I am often sad and upset. That I am still alive when I was told that I don't even have a future.
It makes me upset that I feel like crying while typing this. That I can't still control my emotions 100%. #Overthink#overthinking#mythoughts
I think sometimes I over think way to much which makes it hard to not have fun or even go out, I’m always scared something is gonna happen or go wrong.
Sleep, why doest thou hate me so? By the light of day, my mind allows a peaceful, dreamless sleep. But by the time of dark and slumber, my psyche buzzes, sings, and wonders if penguins have knees. **sigh**
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