Anytime a word they put down triggers fear or upsetting memories. So i try my best to explain why but go emotional and sometimes overboard.. Others state i keep repeating it. Or they tell me get therapy; I would but cant afford it with a lot going on in personal life...
As growing up as a kid I was told to keep my thoughts to myself and if I was bullied or teased to avoid it.. I did tell the teachers or speech therapist but i was told it was wrong of me to tatall tail? I grown to fear adults amd making friends plus open up to my family. To a point i feared interaction with my family. I put on a mask act silly or polite or try to mimic helpful behaviors or likes from family or rare friends. I would later on draw a lot of hidden fears and emotions where family saw it as a future gift.( I may skip a bit)
When I was a teen I kept drawing and tried to use my art to gain friends but some just used me for homework art projects. There teasing or bullying kept at it when growing up. More rare friends i made would give out phone numbers or birthday parties invites (which i struggled to call or remember) some friends witnessed me having narcolepsy \ anxiety in class do to stress from home or school [i struggled with school work and my late mom dislike me being lazy a lot] some of my teachers allowed me ti cheat test of some answers and gave me a jr-job as Janitor( it help keep stress down) by college i still struggled in mathematics and english to history. But loved art.
After that i found out after my mom death from cancer she cheated on my dad with his friend.. Again I wasn't allowed to over exaduwight on things - but kept it bottled up.
After i got married i shared with my husband and he shared his struggles in life with I. But overtime we're still trying to mend. But i still get triggers with my past.. and I try hard to not say anything. Yet it like a childverson of me yelling Im here I saw I heard and Please hear me? #Anxiety #PanicAttacks #TBI #Fear #Narcolepsy
Latest
2 reactions •
2 comments
