I can resonate with this in more ways than one! I'm Always feeling like I'm Always having to Apologize for being who I am! & To be quite honest, it's sad I feel I have to feel this way just to keep the peace! I shouldn't ever have to Apologize for being who I a! If no one can accept me for who I am & Love me for who I am well then they don't need to be in my life! Period!! I refuse to live up to everyone else's expectations & be somebody I'm Not!
After recently being diagnosed with borderline personality disorder at age 17 I felt the overwhelming feelings of shame and disappointment and the need to apologize to my family and friends for being this way I’m not going to put it lightly the huge stigma around bpd hugely affects me and makes me feel like a terrible person, when I first started researching this illness and looking into it I saw labels like manipulative, selfish and narcissistic I seriously just wanted to end everything right then and there. Nobody in their life wants to be labelled these characteristics and think that because of this diagnosis that there a “bad” “selfish” person. But then I thought to myself why should I be ashamed of this label that is placed on me like a sticker, why should I apologize for my brain chemistry and the way my brain works. Its like a person apologizing for a brain tumour, when it’s not like they could’ve actually done anything to stop its arrival. So I’ve decided that I’m going to think of this diagnosis as something like a brain tumour, something that has arrived without a cause and effect and something that could not have been helped. Unlike many others affected by bpd I have had no real trauma growing up no abuse, no neglect which is normally accompanied with the diagnosis of borderline personality disorder. I grew up in a loving household with my loving family who accept me for who I am and love me no matter what. Growing up I was diagnosed with autism, major depressive disorder and anxiety at age 11 and have suffered with these throughout every moment of my life. Adding to this list is like another weight on my shoulders, another label that I have to carry around and fight through. I am trying to accept this new diagnosis and focus on my own characteristics rather than the negative ones that are “paired” with . #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder#Notsorry#MajorDepressiveDisorder#Autism#Shame#Anxiety#MentalIllnessStigma#Mentalillnessfeelslike#Stigma