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Discrimination

My PTSD is triggered by yesterday’s blatant episode of discrimination at Walmart. Any typical day I experience micro aggressions, from being a woman, of having mixed ethnicities, practicing paganism, wearing alternate jewelry and clothing and being part of the LGBTQ+ community. As well as micro aggressions towards being on the autism spectrum, mental illness and disability. Yesterday was overt discrimination at the pharmacy by a clerk who said a very derogatory statement and intentionally insinuated I was evil (I am assuming based on his beliefs). This happened as soon as I told him my name and date of birth, he examined my meds and made a personal judgement about it. I was shocked, and I was so offended that I found it in myself to call him out on it. I am so very proud of myself! He was really inappropriate. We left and I called the pharmacy and spoke with the pharmacist, the pharmacist was shocked, he said he would take care of it, and I trust he will. I just asked him to talk to the perpetrator, after all he looked like he hadn’t had much world experience. I know everyone has experienced some form of micro aggression at some point and it is painful. If you have privilege in these areas do not feel ashamed, but use your privilege to protect those who don’t. #Relationships
#Empathy #humanrights #Stigma

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Any tips for accepting your Anxiety?

Sometimes I get nice breaks from anxiety and everything is smooth sailing ⛵️ but other times it comes back and is a constant nuisance wether it’s physical symptoms or just mental and that voice in my head trying to sabotage me. Any tips for when you find anxiety makes you feel dumb and silly for struggling with it? Sometimes it can be the smallest of things and it makes you feel shame vulnerable and stigma. #Anxiety #help #struggling #Support #ideas #coping #Shame #Stigma #mighty #TheMighty #MightyTogether

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Feeling broken? Only seeing your flaws? Sometimes those things we feel are flaws are actually what makes us unique, special and extraordinary!

I can get caught in that awful loop of beating myself up, only seeing my flaws, only recognizing things I haven’t done instead of giving myself credit for things I have done, getting stuck in self judgment, only seeming to hear my inner critic’s voice, I can lose all my self confidence, let my self esteem dip and things can look pretty bleak.

Over time more and more I have been able to catch this in the moment, pause, breathe, re-set, and then be gentle with myself and allow myself to shift my energy. I can then take first steps towards better self care…and reverse that repetitive loop, replace it with self respect and start to believe in myself! One situation at a time, I’m getting better … and every time I succeed it can get a little easier the next time. I can see that I have grown along my path and although it can be very hard for me to accept, there is unique beauty to the journey I have been on. I am not broken - I am strong - I have been accepting my flaws and see that as I have picked myself up over and over I have filled myself with gold!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I find doing a gratitude list can help. A while back it was recommended I process a gratitude list every morning. I like to think of my blessings: roof over my head and food on the table; a car that runs and being able to afford insurance & gas for it; MY HEALTH…here I go through all my 5 senses thankful they all work, touch and feel my legs that didn’t at one point and give thanks that parts of me are healing but by bit ! I give thanks for my whole support network: great doctors & health providers, my friends, and my family!!! I find after doing this I start off the day feeling much better about myself!

What is on your gratitude list?

#MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #SocialAnxiety #Disability #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #Selflove #Selfcare #BipolarDisorder #BipolarDepression #COVID19 #Parkinsonism #Concussion #BrainInjury #Migraine #Headache #BackPain #neckpain #PhysicalTherapy #HIVAIDS #PTSD #Stigma #PeripheralNeuropathy #Addiction #AddictionRecovery #IfYouFeelHopeless #Hope #CheckInWithMe #InsideTheMighty #MightyTogether #DistractMe

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I enjoy watching sports, which can be a distraction from my health challenges. Are there sports, shows you binge watch, or movies that help you too?

Being passionate about sports is a trait my Dad passed on and instilled in me from an early age, and watching and talking about them together was a very bonding experience we had that built over the years. When I was young I was very blessed and had the opportunity to attend a lot of games with him live: football & basketball, some baseball & hockey games, and we even went to Indianapolis for the Indy 500 races twice. His father had taken him to the big race a few times too and to many other games when he was a child, which I think had the same impact on him!

I was never a good athlete, but under his tutelage I became very interested in drama and intrigue with sports and began to understand, appreciate and enjoy all the nuances of the games: teams - their players & coaches, stats, and strengths & weaknesses; types of plays; strategies; the history of the sports; … and I adapted Dad’s favorite teams & players and we followed them very passionately, intently and took the games very seriously. To this day I can get depressed after a game my team loses, and as a kid I’d pout and be in a really bad mood, often for days.

We watched games and followed our teams, not just the games, but almost every day, as we even fought for who got the Sports page first! His excitement, curiosity and dedication were contagious.

As I got older and I moved away to other places I made the “pilgrimage” up to two hours every Sunday to watch football with Dad & on Memorial Weekend went to watch the Indy 500 with him almost every year. We didn’t even miss a minute of games, with Mom being part host, part cook & part waitress … bringing us big homemade deli sandwiches, her legendary guacamole, and yummy desserts she baked. Then during commercials sometimes we would both sprint to different bathrooms for a break, rushing so as not to miss a second of the games!

However, I recently realized I have actually tried to avoid watching big games there since he passed away. I just admitted to myself that over 3 years after he died it still can be emotional watching games in the room where we watched events together. It can be a sad & empty feeling🥲 The first games I watched without him there soon after he died were some of the few things that triggered me to cry when I wasn't processing things well yet. When I sat there in my familiar chair and our team scored I would turn to high five him and saw the empty chair he always sat on next to me and suddenly deeply felt his absence… It was one of the first ways I truly realized he wouldn’t be there to share experiences with me (physically) anymore. It hit me hard. The first time I watched a game without him I completely broke down in tears which was the strongest emotion I had experienced since he died to that point.

I realized that sharing sports with him was so much more than the games, it was something we shared together in almost a ritual format for decades, and looking back I remember how much I always looked forward to being with him for each coming game. So I still am deeply invested and tuned into sporting events and that focus can help me to take a break from pain, depression, anxiety, fear & worry. It’s all I think about for that 2 ½-3 hours, sometimes longer.

🏀🏈⚾️⚽️🏒⚽️⚾️🏈🏀

Do any of you take comfort, find refuge, a healthy escape and/or a distraction in watching sports? Or are there other things you enjoy watching like binging episodes of your favorite show? Or watching a movie trilogy over and over? Or watching thrillers that keep you on the edge of your seat, or action or drama movies that take your complete focus like tunnel vision? Or do you enjoy watching nature, animal or history channels? Was sharing them with family a part of your childhood?

What engrosses & entertains you the most? How do these affect your energy and emotions when you watch them? Do you find it a much needed window away from thinking about your health challenges like I do?

#MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #SocialAnxiety #LossOfAParent #Grief #Disability #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #Selfcare #BipolarDisorder #COVID19 #Migraine #Headache #HIVAIDS #PTSD #Stigma #BrainInjury #Concussion #BackPain #neckpain #Addiction #AddictionRecovery #IfYouFeelHopeless #Hope #CheckInWithMe #InsideTheMighty #MightyTogether #DistractMe


@texassonrisa
@sparklywartanks

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Thoughts on Thirty

So you could say I’ve been freaking out a bit about turning *whispers* thirty *whispers*. For those who’ve seen Friends, I’ve been doing a Rachel. For those who haven’t, where have you been?

I’m not ashamed about that. It feels as though I’m leaving my youth behind, although I have always been a child trapped in an older persons body so I don’t think one birthday is going to change that anytime soon.

Plus, thirty is a milestone in itself. When I was a little girl I imagined I’d have my dream career by 21, a husband and all that stuff just ~sorted~. You know, it would come naturally to me. Like most things did back then. But as I grew older and the anxiety and trauma set in I found it harder and harder to imagine that life for myself and I never, ever pictured me at thirty. I just never thought I’d make it here. I’ve had a lot of hardship in my life and for a while I thought it would stop me from continuing with life itself. But I’m here, and I’m grateful.

Putting me aside for a second, there is a wider societal pressure around turning thirty. If you don’t have kids, married and in a seemingly total secure place in your dream career then you apparently aren’t succeeding at life. Well that’s not the case. Everyone grows at their own rate. Life happens at different speeds to different people. We shouldn’t compare one another in these arbitrary ways.

For me personally, my twenties have been a mixed bag. Unconventional, some may say. I’ve spent more time in relationships than I’ve been single. I don’t regret that but I’m glad I’m taking the time to just be me now. Even though those relationships never turned into anything it doesn’t mean I didn’t value them or that I haven’t learned anything from them because I do and I did. Each one has made me into a better person and I thank them for that. Most of them anyway.

Just like men, I’ve had good friends and I’ve had bad friends. Heck I’ve been a good friend and a bad friend but I’ve always tried to be as authentic as possible with people. I’ve wasted some time with some friends but I can’t say I haven’t had fun along the way. Just because something doesn’t last doesn’t mean it was pointless. I’ll be honest, there have been times when I don’t know why friendships have ended. At times it has felt like I’ve been cut out of peoples lives and then they’ve wanted me back when it suits them. I know sometimes people just simply outgrow each other but sometimes there is more to it than meets the eye. Even if they don’t want to admit it. Still, it doesn’t mean either one is less worthy - just less honest and willing to communicate.

There are many things I’m proud of hitting thirty. I’ve been in and out of hospital more times than I can count but I have managed to stay out since 2021 and remain stable. I have managed to secure my own home, renovate and decorate it with the help of family. Now my house is my haven and I hate leaving it because it is so gorgeous and cosy and beautiful. Saying that, maintaining it is a job in itself that should be applauded. I am continuing focusing on my writing and putting something in the bank each day.

Not only do I have severe mental health problems, but I live with chronic physical illness too. I am learning more and more about my illnesses each day which can help manage them a bit better but they flare up under stress and I am sensitive to stress. It is all a big balancing act but I am in more control of it than ever. I have a good routine and if anything gets me out of that routine I am done for. I know I will have to live with this forever but knowing that I can somewhat manage it to the best of my ability is somewhat comforting.

Heck surviving your twenties is simply a feat in itself without all this illness and trauma so I am extremely proud of myself for being where I am today. But it is a double edged sword. I am not married and without kids, there is a stigma towards people like me. I don’t have a traditional job. Where am I going in life some may ask. Well the truth is if you asked me a couple of years ago where I’d be in a few years times I’d have said I thought I’d still be living at home, at one point I thought I’d be on the streets or homeless in some way like I have been in the past and many times I thought I’d be dead because I couldn’t take the idea of being homeless again.

What I am looking forward to about my thirties is feeling confident in my own skin. As I progressed through my twenties I got this feeling more and more as in my teens and early twenties I used to feel so hung up on my body it got me feeling so depressed I had to go to the doctors. Now I really do love the skin I’m in. I see my body as a vessel. My body is strong and it has carried me through so much hardship and it will continue carrying me through until the day I die. I am so thankful to my body. I just wanna give her a big hug.

It just shows, where I am now is miles away from where I thought I would be. I have come so far in such a short space of time. I think turning thirty has made me reflect on my life and made me think about what I want from it, and the main thing is stability. My life isn’t the same as most other thirty year olds, and that’s okay. I have to do what works for me, and if people don’t understand then they weren’t worth having around in the first place. #Anxiety #Fear #Psychosis #Bipolar #MentalHealth #Stigma #bodyconfidence

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Stigma and gaslighting are still here #BipolarDepression #Stigma #suicidal #Gaslighting 😢

I'm losing hope as I age, I even receive backlash from my local doctors saying 'we're too sensitive to live and need to toughen up', my mentor and dean of the faculty said to my parents face and to me, the same day i just got discharged from psych ward that 'depression doesn't exist', my supposedly ex best friend claimed that I made it all up and worse my counsellor who I thought i could count on questioning y he's not depressed despite living in a broken home as me??? Like tf am I supposed to believe in now? I even start to gaslighting myself on slight inconvenience, it's like a vicious cycle

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Think about housing before thinking about suicide

Wow! I just found out a person can be denied housing, if they've ever been on a psychiatric hold for a suicide attempt. What if the main reason for the attempt was because of lack of housing?!!

I wonder if they deny applicants who have any other life-threatening illness, like cancer or hereditary chronic pancreatitis.

#homelessness #DomesticViolence #Suicide #Stigma

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What’s the biggest misconception other people have about your health?

A tried-and-true Mighty topic is discussing the stigma and misconceptions associated with health. We love some myth-busting around here 👏.

What makes stigma especially complicated though, is that the same misconception isn’t applicable to every single condition. Some of the inaccuracies surrounding mental illnesses overlap with one another, but myths about BPD are very different than the ones for folks living with bipolar or C-PTSD. And while there is some similar ground to traveled between fibro, CFS, RA, and EDS — each diagnosis comes with its own language, own community, and unique pain points.

In your life, what’s the biggest misconception other people have about your experiences? Mighty staffer @xokat says her biggest battle is getting others to understand the drain her conditions take on her day-to-day life, and why it’s so important for her to pace and budget her energy.

What’s your experience?

#MightyMinute #CheckInWithMe #MentalHealth #Anxiety #Depression #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #RareDisease #Disability #Stigma #Spoonie #AutismSpectrumDisorder

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